Thursday, December 30, 2004

Busy Month and a Gift of Life

Man has it been a busy month. I've had the month off of school, but yet I've managed to cram all that open time with moving, more work, school related stuff, lots of stuff at church, holidays, and I know that's only the things off of the top of my head.

I've had very little to no access to a computer since my parents moved, and now I finally do! Yeah!!! So I've moved in with my good friends Paul and Erin Beaulieu (, and they have graciously given up their office so I could be on this side of town. I'm near my parents who are now on Greenfield and Ray, my brother and sister on Gilbert and Brown, my church on Cooper and Warner, and finally my work on Gilbert and Main. A good friend of mine will soon be moving this way as well. I hope it's a trend that all my friends follow, cause I feel like I'm a long way away from a number of them.

I've decided not to be a stick in the mud and point out how I was so disappointed with how lax or shall I say syncretistic everyone has gotten with Christmas this year. I'll save that for one of my latter blogs. Instead I've decided to blog on how great my holiday or shall I say Holyday was this year. I expected nothing for Christmas this year. I was just glad I would be able to spend it with the people I love most, my family. I didn't want anything for Christmas. Christmas wasn't about wanting anymore, but about sharing. Very similar to Passover, I gathered together with those I loved and shared a meal together remembering how Jesus gave up everything to come and give the greatest gift of all, His life. I was surprised when the Beaulieu's awakened me in the morning and gave me a gift. Especially since it wasn't a cheap gift and was one that I know Paul would have bought for himself. Even more to my surprise was that Erin's parents bought me a gift and gave it to me as we were eating breakfast. I was beside myself. Later that day my friend Tim Allen came over and we headed to my parents house to eat. Tim's a good friend that I've met through the Grace Community college group. Since he couldn't afford to go home for Christmas, we invited him and were blessed to have him spend it with us. We ate great food, a meal that only kings, queens, and other nobility would have been able to eat centuries ago. I was kinda surprised that my parents got me anything for Christmas. I knew they were probably tight on money and our extended family usually draws names anyway. Figured that I would probably get something from my aunt Cindi's husband Sid and that would be it. I got three gifts from my parents. I couldn't believe it. I wanted to bless them so I got them a little something, but I had the money to spare. We sang songs of praise and worship to God while my brother and I played guitar and Tim played the djembe. That was a good time. We followed that up with a so so movie.

All in all a great day. I just wish Luke and Chris could have been there to share it with us. That would have been the one and only thing I would have wanted. But I knew it wasn't about me, God has His own agenda to keep. Luke really got to bless a couple of his fellow EMT's by taking their Christmas shifts so they could spend the day with their families. Talk about a Christmas present that has the very spirit of Christ. It cost him his holyday, and it cost his coworkers nothing. It was a paid day off. As I thought about the gifts I had received I came to the conclusion that despite the utter loss of meaning or incorporation of a pagan ritual into a Christian Holyday, there was still something significant about these gifts. They were a representation of a gift I didn't deserve, couldn't earn, and could never repay. They represented the gift Christ gave to me when He was born, lived, and died for my sins over 2000 years ago. These gifts cost the givers something very important, time. How so? The gifts cost money, and to get money you have to work which takes up the one thing you can never get back and have a limited amount of, time. Andre, the Beaulieu's, my aunt Cindi's and her husband Sid, my aunt Kathy, and my parents all gave me a part of their lives through those gifts they gave. I realize that the significance of the gifts doesn't matter, only that they were given freely to someone who didn't deserve them, didn't earn them, and didn't give anything in return.

John 15:13 Greater love has no man than he that would lay down his life for his friends.
Matthew 25:35-36,40 For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you game something to drink. I was a stranger, and you took me in. Naked, and you clothed me. I was sick, and you visited me. I was in prison, and you came to me...... Inasmuch as you have done it unto one of the least of these my brothers, you have done it unto me.

Two great things come from these verses. First is that the above laid down a portion of their lives for me, though I am the least deserving, they did it anyway. They did what Jesus did. They have taken me in, called me friend, brother, or son. They have fed me and given me drink. Have clothed me, taken care of me and prayed for me when sick, and I've not been imprisoned physically, but I know they'ld be there. Secondly is that they have unknowingly served God and provided for His needs by aiding me. They are storing up treasures in heaven.

It is incredible that someone so undeserving, unmerciful, unfaithful, selfish, and unwise could be shown such grace. I've been given the gift of eternal life through the blood of Christ Jesus, and each of those gifts is a sort of communion or remembrance of that costly gracious gift He gave. I will never look at another gift the same way again.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Boxes and Tape

You are the boxes, I am the Tape; apart from Me, you can hold nothing.

I've been dealing with boxes today. At work I was carrying around a box that had some steel pipe in it that I was working on. I was under the impression that the bottom was taped together, however it was not. The four flaps were only interlocked so as to provided a false sense of security, I thought the box would carry almost anything and stay together, however the bottom dropped out from it. I was let down by the box as I found out it was not taped. I cast it to the ground in anger as my parts spread all across the shop floor.

Sometimes we as people are like boxes. We have boxes in our lives that give us a false sense of stability or security and these boxes help us to carry on, but only lead us to be dissappointed when these boxes eventually burst open from the bottom spilling the contents of our lives out. We feel let down, violated, and even more insecure then when we started off. So we cast our box or boxes to the ground in anger, go find another box that is bigger/newer/more dependable, gather up the contents of our lives, put them into the new box and go on only to find that this box shares the same weakness as every other box. It isn't Taped at the bottom. Whether the box is ourselves, someone else, a job, or something else is irrelevant.

When I put the box back together by interlocking the 4 flaps I went and found some Tape and made the box stay together. I returned the parts to the box and it held just fine.

Boxes are important, and adding a little extra strength to them by interlocking the flaps is a wise course of action as long as you are not trusting on the interlocking of the flaps to save you. The Tape is what holds your box together and keeps the contents inside and will give you a true sense of security. We are even more like boxes when you think of how dirty boxes can get. They get covered in oil, dirt, water and all the other stuff in this world that would cause the Tape to stick very poorly. Fortunately when we seek after the Tape, and realize our need for the Tape, the Tape gives us a new box, it's clean made of plastic so that when it does get dirty the dirt won't stick or ruin the box.

I may be trying to run this analogy of our relationship to Christ a bit too far, but the truth is still there. Without full dependance on Christ we will be continually let down.

Now here I am, wishing I had some packing tape for the boxes that I need to put stuff in so my parents don't have to worry about my stuff.

Thanks for being my Tape Jesus. Without You I'd fall apart at the seams. You hold me together, have given me new life, a new name and taken me as Your own. I'll praise Your name forever. I love You!

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Syncretism part 2

I've been wrestling with this idea of syncretism for some time now, and how far does this go and to what extent are our lives defineded by this style of living.

Perharps one of my greatest quandries is this. How do we remain culturally relevant without becoming apostate in how we carry out our beliefs. In ministry one wants to be culturally relevant to reach out to the unreached. The problem this presents is that in order to separate people from their paganistic beliefs we often dismiss anything they may use in their cult practices as evil soley because it is used in the worship of other "god's". For example: In the native american tradition they use many drums and chants and other things that are of great tribal importance to them. Unfortunately they use this stuff to pray and call upon other spirits. Now earlier in missionary outreach, the "great white savior's" insisted that these things and practices get completely abandoned because they were used in spirit worship and idolotry. Our thinking has greatly changed in the past 10 yrs. as God has shown us that Misuse does not negate Proper Use. This is key, because earlier we would have said that native american Chistians who still used these things and chanted were syncretistic and were sinning. We see now that this is why native americans were so put off by early attempts to reach out to them. Now they have been taught that these drums, and other culturally important items/practices were simply misused, and that to use them properly in worship to Yaweh is okay.

So this opens up a huge can of worms. We see that God has begun to move amongst the native americans and other people groups suggesting that these idea's about cultural relevance are correct and working well, none the less not negating the fact that we should be noticeably set apart. A nation of priests as it were.

We know in the old testament that the Israelites were not to eat meat sacrificed to idol's, but yet we also know that there are no such things as other god's. All they are is stone, wood, metal, etc.. Our God is bigger than these things, which is why Paul says it is okay to eat of such things, unless a brother who is weaker in spirit and who may stumble because of your freedom witnesses you eating of these things. Still when in Ephesus, Paul never slept with temple prostitutes, sacrificed to idols or took part in these things so that he could remain culturally relevant in order to share the gospel (despite his when in Rome speech). He did quite the opposite. He said that all of these things were meaningless and worthless. He preached Jesus Christ and Him crucified, and ministered in the power of the spirit.

So then, what shall we say? Pine trees, giving of gifts, egg hunts, bunny rabbits, throwing of flowers and garter, dressing up in costumes as weird stuff, and other culturally relevant things. Do we do these so we can be relevant? Are they simply being misused and we need to learn how to use them properly and show the world how to? Or do we need to do what Paul did and cut these things out of our lives and do the opposite.

One of the reasons I love kid's church and teaching with Paul B. is that when these holiday celebrations come upon us we buckle down and teach the kids the history behind these holidays and why they were originally so important. We do not give out bunny rabbit candies at Easter or decorate eggs (both of which are symbols of fertility), or scary stuff around halloween, or santa stuff around Christmas, but emphasize in a world were these things have been forgotton (just like Israel) the importance of such celebrations and why we still celebrate them. Otherwise we risk apostacy and where we celebrate these things with our mouths but our hearts are far from Him. They are on gifts, candy, fun, games, and most importantly ourselves. The Israelites suffered terribly from this and the consequences were tremendous.

So there is a definite tension between cultural relevance and syncretism. Where the fine line is I do not know. I think we as Christians have crossed that line in many places, but haven't in others. Some good questions to ask about a practice or celebration would be, will this give glory to God? Am I opening up opportunities to witness and influence the lives of unbelievers? Why am I doing this? Is it because of tradition, or is there something more?

Lord reveal your heart to me regarding these things. Help me walk out this line between syncretism and cultural relevance. Let everything I do give glory and honor to you and let your kingdom come and be advanced in my life. I trust that as long as you are leading me, I will not fall in to apostacy or syncretism. So lead me and guide me. Teach me your ways.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004


Syncretism by definition is the reconciliation or fusion of differing systems of belief ex. Religion.

Flashback to the time of Moses. He was an old man now and already knew that he would not go into the promise land with God's people because of his disobedience when he struck the rock. He soon dies and God raises up Joshua as Moses' successor. He shows the people that He is with Joshua just as He was with Moses. We see in Judges 1:27-36 that Israel did not complete the conquering of the land of Canaan. They instead put some of the people to forced labor or allowed them to live in the land. After Joshua died we see in Judges 2 that they did evil in the sight of the Lord by worshipping Baals. As Israel ages and goes through ups and downs we see the mixing of cult practices. Cult practices meaning any religious practices a belief system has (not to be confused with occult). When God made the covenant with Israel at Mt. Sinai He forbade them from doing certain things. In return He would be their God and they would be His people. He would lead, provide, and protect them and doing anything else needed. All He required was obedience. As we see, Israel began to disobey and break their part of God's covenant with them. They first didn't destroy all the people in Canaan and all their idol's/god's. This eventually led to the cohabitation (unequally yoked???) of God's people and pagan's. They lived, worked, and played amongst each other. Israel eventually begins to ignore God and worship foreign god's or baal's. Over time we see the development of a syncrotistic society. They worship God with their mouths, and even the required offerings, but their hearts were far from Him. They would oppress the poor and the foriegners, they committed open adultery amongst themselves, and even had homosexual relationships throughout their history. What does God do? He pulls His favor from them. He quits guiding them, no longer provides for them, and allows their enemies, the very ones they were supposed to have destroyed when they first entered the land, to oppress them and then others would eventually conquer them. They broke the covenant that God had made with them and they suffered the curses that came as a result of this violation.

Fast forward to the present. Syncretism, how does it apply to us? We can look at many things in our lives that we celebrate or are just common practices that have roots in pagan practices. Bear with me while I list a few examples. If you take for example Christmas. It falls around the same time as the winter solstice which in the N. Hemisphere occurs on Dec. 21. Many early peoples would celebrate the death of the falling son and the birth of the rising son. For a pretty good history on the winter solstice go here: You'll find that many of the things Christians do in celebration of Christmas are well rooted in other pagan traditions that were blended together by emperor Aurelian around 270-275 A.D. The giving of gifts, decorating pine trees, holly, and a whole slew of others that are found on the link above. Paul B. Made a good point that I was disenchanted to agree with, but now have had a change of heart. Check it out. It's titled "Purity in Wedding Practices" and can be found at: We celebrate many other holidays and do many other practices that have roots in pagan traditions, and if anybody takes the time to search this out I think they will come to a similar conclusion.

So, what to do. I'm not suggesting that we abolish celebrations or weddings, birthdays, gift giving and the like, but that we do them in the proper context and we weed out the things that are rooted in the world. Is that extreme? Yes. Do we serve an extreme God? Yes. Is He faithful and just to forgive? Yes, but as Paul said that doesn't mean that we should continue sinning so that His grace may abound. I know that right away people will begin to think that my view is legalistic. I encourage you not to make a judgment call on what I write, but check out the links above, search out the history on some of the things we as Christians do, and find out what the Bible has to say about such things. I'm all for offering alternatives to worldly practices, as long as they do not conflict with scripture and are not rooted in worldly practices that traditionally have connection with the worship or glorification of things or people other than Jesus. Celebrating the birth of Christ, His death and resurrection, and other things are fine. The thing that I believe that is important is that we abstain from mixing in things that are of the world and have paganistic roots. The giving of gifts is a wonderful thing, but not when it is generally done around certain times of year and because that is the "thing" to do. There should be no time of year for this gesture, but should be done out of love for each other and as an expression of the love that Jesus has shown us. Whether material or immaterial is irrelevant.

The devil's advocate in me argues that all these things are an issue of the heart and even though they have paganistic roots, they are innocent in nature. None the less God forbade the Israelites from practicing or even wearing things that the pagans used in their cult practices. Por ejemplo: The mixing of two types of cloth in the old testament. This does not apply to us today, but in that time pagan cultures would mix two types of cloth together to symbolize the mating of the god's and the mating of the god's was supposed to bring agricultural abundance and blessing. This is why it was forbidden. There are no existing cultures that do this today as far as we know so it's not something that would apply to God's people (us). However there are things that we could apply that same logic to.

I find it interesting that ancient cultures had meaning behind most of the things they did. Even their names were important. In today's "civilized" western culture we have lost meaning in most of the things we do. Names are simply a tag that someone wears until they die, rather than an extention of who they are. Many if not most of the things we do during celebrations are simply traditions that we carry on. Why? Why not, I did it as a kid, it was kinda fun, don't want my kids to miss out. Maybe it's time to stop and think about why we do certain things and the meaning behind them. To take some time and search out the history behind our practices to find out if they are truly innocent and if we should indeed just go with the flow and never rock the boat.

Lord, give me wisdom, and understanding regarding the issue of syncretism and how and where it is rooted in my life. You are a jealous God who wants all of me, not just part of me. I don't want to withhold any part of my life from You. Search my heart and reveal the areas in my life that I've merely taken as harmless tradition and help me to change them. If I am reading into things to much and the enemy is trying to pull me away from you by binding me in legalism, then rebuke these things and set me straight. However, if this is indeed You telling me it's time to return completely to You and to reject anything that has roots in the cult practices of other religions or worldly traditions, than continue to reveal more truth to me. Lord I love You and only You. I seek Your will on these things, let Your kingdom come here on earth as it is in heaven, and let Your will be done.

Friday, October 29, 2004


Time - the thing we need when there's alot to do, but have none of. The thing we have lots of when there's nothing to do. The thing we can never seem to get a hold of no matter how hard we try.

So I'm sure some of you are thinking, what is with this guy? He doesn't blog for a while, then belts out 2 books in one night then doesn't do anything for nearly 2 weeks. I'm telling you it's all about time and how little of it I seem to have. VLI has been going great. We finished up an intensive last weekend that was about 12 hrs. Absolutely insane! Information overload. I'm running on very few hours of very uncomfortable sleep and have now moved from a futon to the floor due to the back pain I would wake up with. Combine that with 9-10 hr. days, constantly trying to pass emissions, attempting to remember what I need to do for kids church, college group, and trying to do some studying for VLI and you wind up with a burned out, runny nose guy who is not feeling very good. I have been having constant headaches for the past 2 weeks I'd say. Advil has nearly become part of my diet it seems.

Well I'm sure I could think of more depressing stuff, but my head already hurts. Good stuff, hmm let's see..... Red Sox won the World Series? nah don't care too much about that, let's see. Oh, Micah and Chrissy had a baby boy. Joshua Daniel Killough. 9 lbs. and 33 hrs. of delivery. When I saw him I was speechless. Absolutely the coolest thing I've ever seen. I was praying so much that Chrissy and the baby would be okay. When I left the house I was singing my own song heading west on the 202 praising God. What an incredible experience it is to hold your own flesh and blood. My brother's son. Wow!! There are no words on earth to describe how I felt. All I could do was shout, and that's what I did while driving home. I hooted and hollered like a crazy man. Going to take some getting used to, but I thrilled.

Lord, thank You for the blessing of Micah, Chrissy and Joshua. Thank You for bringing her and the baby safely through the delivery. Please heal her and give her all the rest she needs. Let her recovery be speedy so she can get back on her feet. Bless them as they have blessed us and help them in raising their son.

Thursday, October 14, 2004


This current election has had me do some thinking. I saw a trailer to a film titled Celcius 41.11 ( that had a clip of someone holding a sign that said something to the sort of: Say no to war in Iraq! Then in smaller print it said: Unless a democrat is President. So what does that tell you about the left side? I also saw a leftist bumper sticker on a car that said "Know Peace, No Bush". The homosexual on who's car the sticker was on didn't have a clue. You can't have peace without war. The two coexist in tension with each other. The fallen nature of man kind has made it so that there are people out there who are power hungry megalomaniacs and will stop at nothing to gain what they want. This often means war. This brings me the to the title of my blog, Leaders. They are made not born and great leaders were not typically made during times of peace, nor did they always bring peace. The greatest example of course is Jesus. He specifically said in Mat.10:34 "Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword." He turned over the money changers tables in the temple and rebuked the leaders of religious law with a fury never before seen amongst men. Israel was captive to the Romans, but Jesus didn't come to lead them out of physicall captivity, but spiritual.

Arguably on of the greatest King who ever lived, and certainly the greatest Hebrew King was King David. He never knew peace during his reign. He was always at war. Nations gathered against him, and he cried out to God, and God delivered them. He wasn't great though because he was a mighty conquerer, it was because he was a man after God's own heart.

Another great example of a great leader is Winston Churchill. He rose up, gathered Britain around him and defied the Axis powers. At the same time during the same war would be President Theodore Roosevelt who led the U.S.A. through WWII and helped the Allies defeat the wicked Nazis and their Japanese compatriots.

In the examples mentioned above save Jesus, all of their successors enjoyed times of peace. Solomon built the temple and many other things as well as a large female household. Britain and the U.S.A. rebuilt and helped Europe rebuild. Now President Bush was forced to be in the position he's in. He didn't ask for 9/11 to happen, it just did. He didn't runaway from it and pretend it didn't happen. He didn't get to inwardly focused. He grabbed the reigns and handled the situation with great poise and command. He gave the terrorists and the countries who hide them a chance to surrender, and if they didn't he promised that they would face war of a level that they have never before known. What happened? He fulfilled his promise. War is never easy, but it is a necessity when nations rise against nations or hide those who would intend to harm a nation. President Bush stopped the senseless slaughter of millions more people by ousting Saddam from power. Control is now being slowly restored to the Iraqi people. Kerry has done nothing to support the war. He has said that he would pull out which means that our Iraqi friends would be faced to rebuild alone and would eventually the country would erupt into civil war. We would then find Islamic radicals even worse than Saddam in power and doing everything in their power to destroy America. Great leaders are made not born. They handle situations with poise, and control. They stand up for what is right and will not let other nations decide their future for them. They avoid war if possible, but will not be used as the worlds floor mat. George W. Bush in my opinion has done a great job in some areas and could do better in others, but the one thing that shines like a lighthouse on a foggy night, is his character and his unwillingness to waver on what he believes is right just because pop culture says other wise. Kerry has none of the above qualities, he's a user, an abuser, would sell his own wife if it would get him the White House. He is dishonest, unloyal, unpatriotic, and above all things he does not love justice and mercy. His character reeks of the things of the world instead of the things of God. His wisdom is that of the world, whereas Bush seeks the Lord and reads the Bible searching for wisdom. May God Bless President Bush and grant our country the benefit of being led by him for another 4 yrs.

8 Hour days???

So, this week has been quite long, but on the same token, rather enjoyable, sort of.

Things I haven't enjoyed: failing emittions testing again. I finally broke down and took my Scout into the shop. I found out that the gov. raised the emittions standards this year so all of the things that I have done to pass in the past wouldn't work. I reduced the jet size on my primaries, advanced the timing, leaned the fuel mixture out and ran octane boost with high octane gas through the engine. Nothing worked. Aargh!!! It's been almost a week now and my truck still isn't back. At work I got moved to a new area because one of our welders quit and they needed to move another welder into his area to pick up the slack. Well they put me in the area that was vacated and I seemed to inherit a crappy welding machine. I wasn't too happy. I think I was more concerned that because I moved into this vacated spot that I would assume the duties of the previous tenant. He welded stock items all day long and did boring stuff. I on the other hand get some cool custom projects, the owners and bosses are always having me do custom or prototype work for new products and various personal stuff. I really enjoy this type of work because it's not monotonous. Yesterday I was trying to dial in this welder and had it set when my floor manager came up to me and told me to just use the newer machine I was using before. I expressed my confusion to him because he early stated that welding machines needed to stay put and I was going to use the one in the area that I'm moving to, but I guess he changed his mind. Now one of the less experienced guys are using it which kind of makes me feel bad cause I was starting to get used to it. The guy using it now doesn't seem to mind or have any problems with it so more power to him I guess.

Good things: VLI is going well and I just finished preparing a sermonette for next tues. mentoring class. I'm using John 15:13 as the foundational scripture on which I build the rest of the sermon around. Hopefully it'll go well. At work we got a break from 10 hr. days on tuesday and were told that we'd be on 8 hr. days until further notice. This means an extra hour of sleep and I get off an hour earlier. For some reason though I haven't left work any earlier than I would if I were working 10's though. I've been working on a grinding rail for the Gilbert Vineyard Drop in Center I finished the structural aspects of it today. The rail is finished and ground up and the stands are finished as well. I still may grind down the edges to try and make a semi smooth transition so that in the event that someone does hit them with their board, that they will have a better chance of not biting it. I suppose things are going well, but I guess I'll see how the rest of the week turns out.

Lord be with me and help my attitude at work to improve regardless of my situation or what I am doing. Help me be a light to the world in which I work, and help me to be raging fire. Not an ember struggling to survive. Give me grace and mercy for the things that I do throught the week that are not reflective of who You are and look more like the things of the world. Forgive me when I sin and help me to walk in the paths of rightouesness. I thank you for and praise you for keeping me free from the lusts of my flesh. May I continue to surrender that to You and walk in obediance to Your will so that my flesh will continue to die. Guide me, direct me, and let me know Your thoughts and Your ways. Give me more dreams and show me visions. Then let me know the meanings behind them. I bless You and lift You up. I love You and only You. May my heart be Yours and only Yours.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Davidic covenant

Ok, so there is no Davidic covenant. Atleast not to this David. None the less I like to think that a vision my mom had some time ago is sort of a promise of things to come. The vision was simple yet intriguing, she saw me with my wife and kids. Never saw who my wife was, only the back of her head. Interesting.

As I get older I the thought of marriage runs through my mind more often, probably because nearly all of my friends are either married or soon to be. I'm one of very few hold outs. Never had a girlfriend (by choice) and avoided the whole dating thing like the plague. However in light of this vision I see hope. Sometimes I get a little over zealous and I take a simple kind gesture or friendly chat with a attractive young lady and read more into it than there is. I kind of see myself relating to Abraham in this sense. God promised him a son. He didn't say when, just that he would have one and would be the father of many nations. Now Abraham believed God, but was under the impression that God would give them a child under natural circumstances. They would have a son within child bearing age. As Abraham and Sarah aged, they decided that God must have meant that they would have a child through a maidservant and raise it as their own. So Sarah gave Hagar to Abraham and she gave birth to a baby boy. It is important to take note that this was a practice that was completely acceptable during that time. Families stayed together most of their lives so it was important to have a male descendant to pass on the inheritance to. If a male child could not be conceived, a back up plan was to use a maidservant. This was the wisdom of the world. God would not have any of that. He told Abraham that Hagar's son was not the one who the promise would carry through. Instead God waited until it was physically impossible for them to have children and then He supernaturally intervened and gave them a son who's name was Isaac.

Now the question is, what is this leading up to? Well, the wisdom of the world would suggest that I seek out this future woman that God has for me. That I should date or go with friends with the intent of trying to "hook up", but God doesn't use the wisdom of this world. He doesn't do things the natural way, for He Himself is not natural, but supernatural. He will use natural things to bring about a supernatural experience, but that is tangent in which I may explore later. In Abraham's case they tried things the culturally relevant way and ended up have a serious effect on the course of history. Hagar's son would also become the father of many great princes which in modern times would be the anti Semitic Arabic nations surrounding Israel. If this is what happens when we try to fulfill God's promises by human means, then I want none of it. I don't know when God will show me this person, but I trust that His timing is perfect. It's still hard to wait especially when there are so many great women of God out there, but every time I see them I take heart in the knowledge that if they are great, but not for me, how much greater will the one that God has for me be. Someone once said, the enemy of best is good. Never settle for 2nd best when you can have the very best.

Lord I trust in You and You alone. Your timing is the right timing and Your ways are higher then mine and the ways of this world. Even though I do not fully understand why You do things the way You do, I take heart in knowing that everything that I go through is something that You will use to mold me and form me into who You want me to be. You said through Paul that everything works out for the good of those who love You through Christ Jesus. I believe that, and am waiting on You. Help me not to look around me and become discontent with where I am in life and where You have me, but to be glad in all circumstances and to recognize the reasons why I am where I am. Speak to me and reveal Your heart in me.

Friday, September 24, 2004

The Hunger

Hunger, sometimes good, sometimes bad. Appetites for somethings can be good, but then there are appetites that are destructive and lead to death. I've been reading Genesis lately because it's the first of the five books of the Pentateuch. We have to read through the Pentateuch for VLI this quarter as well as various books. I've been digging into the Word like mad. Thursday I went over to Andre's and we worshipped and read and discussed various things in Genesis ch. 1-9. It was incredible! We dug into the passages, asked questions of each other, and really enjoyed studying the Bible. God has given me an appetite for studying and trying to understand the Bible. The Lord has developed a Hunger in me for the things of His Kingdom. I'm hungry, and only You can fill the Hunger. I cannot be full. Your Word is better than the best of foods and drinks. It satisfies, yet makes one long for more. Makes one think and dig deeper. Food makes one full, and too much will make one fat. When you eat food and it's processed its biproduct is a stinky waste that is useless. When you eat of the Word you'll never be full. You'll never get fat and it's biproduct is a stronger Christian and a better understanding of the things of God. You can also share this biproduct with others and they too can grow stronger. Jesus was right when He said that "man does not live on bread alone, but by every Word that proceeds from the mouth of the Lord". Seven Day Jesus has a song out called "The Hunger" and it's awesome. In fact their entire album is great, but that song applies to this blog.

Lord continue to make this fire burn and burn hot, white hot. Make the hunger you've placed inside me grow deep and wide. Let me become consumed with the thought of knowing You. Let my desire be to eat and drink of Your Word. Help me to cut off the chains that have bound me and kept me somewhat caught in the things of this world. Keep my heart in a state of brokeness for the lost and for missions. Don't let me become complacent in my walk with you. Use VLI to mold me into a battle hardened warrior who's only desire is to fight on the front lines with a fury and reckless love that strikes fear into the heart of the enemy. Be my shield, be my Sword, be vision, lay before me a path that is rock solid. Let my enemies fall before me, to the left and to the right let them fall before Your mighty right hand. Prepare me, then lead me into battle. You are the Potter, and I am the clay. Today my heart is Yours to mold. Make me into the tool, the weapon that would make me useful to You in advancing Your kingdom. I love you, and the thought of doing anything other than serving you makes my heart cringe.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Good times, exciting times, and uncertain times

Haven't posted in a while. Don't have my own PC, and my roommate isn't to keen on letting people use his. Don't get to post much cause of time constraints and lack of a PC.

This is going to be a book, at least I think it will be. So much has happened since 9/12/04, namely my brother Luke coming down to visit. That was such a good time. You never really know how much you'll miss somebody until you they're gone. I've considered moving to Kansas many times. The funny thing is that there are only a few reasons to go, but so many reasons to stay. Luke was one of my reasons to go, but the Lord was doing things here and He was my reason to stay. Didn't get to hang out as much as I would have liked, but he'll be back in Feb. To test for Tempe Fire. Hopefully they won't hire him for another year and a half to two years. That should give him the time he needs to do what he went to Kansas to do.

Work has been really busy. The Lord has been good though. A couple weeks ago my buddy Mike came down to check out the shop and while I was showing him around, my boss came up and asked me for some help. Mike followed me so I introduced him to my boss. My boss offered him a job on the spot for the most part and a few days later Mike was working with me. We car pool now, and share lunch, talk loads during breaks and I'm getting to show him some stuff too. I hope that the Lord brings a few more Godly men like Mike in so that we can be an even better witness to those that work there. Right now they have us working 10 hr. Days again. Probably for the next 3 weeks.

Vineyard Leadership Institute (VLI) started up last night and boy was it exciting. It was just orientation night, but to hear the heart of God behind Steve Robbins the director was incredible. I'm so excited, but at the same time filled with a nervous energy. They say that to learn the info and apply it well in ministry, one will need to study etc. For at least 20 hrs. A week. With work picking up again and night school and college group all of my nights were used up. I knew that doing VLI would require some sacrifices, but that ultimately it would be worth it. The Lord has so much to teach me through the mentoring, lecturing, and hands on ministry projects. I dropped my welding class on tues./thur. Nights because it took up 8 hrs. A week that I needed to devote more to reading the word, studying, and focusing on VLI as opposed to getting my certifications taken care of. Those will be good here, but probably won't benefit me loads overseas. However, the things I will learn through VLI will help me here in the U.S. as well as the rest of the world. The next couple years will be filled with exciting yet, uncertain times.

I'm going through VLI training so that I will be better equipped when I make the transition into full time mission work sometime after VLI is done.

College group is going well at the Living room. Since they broke the group up into 3 nights, the wed. Group actually meets at someone's house and consists of about 15-20 people instead of 40-70 people. Great small group, great worship and study, close by and lots of open discussion.

Life is busy, yet I'm glad. The Lord is moving in me, through me, and around me. Things are changing, I'm changing. Can't put my finger on it cause it's so subtle at times, but it's happening. My natural instinct is to be apprehensive about uncertain times, but now I'm more excited because that means that I'm not in control of the situation. It's a new adventure that is always going where the Shepherd leads, not where I want to go.

Sunday, September 12, 2004

The Blessings of the Lord

What is the greatest thing in this world or the greatest gift. Some might say the birth of a new baby, especially their own, or seeing their children grow up. Having not experienced either of those I cannot say how great they are, but I know for a fact that one of the greatest pleasures I've had in my life is to see someone who is young come to have a relationship with Jesus. I got to witness this today during Adventure Bay. I was completely unprepared. Stayed up late last night, was busy moving and setting stuff up in my room so I lost my schedule and "script" for today's lesson. I wake up late and miss 1st service. I end up quickly jotting down some notes and reviewing the script for the pirate and cameo we have before changing into my Captain's clothes. After that I play with the kids and meet the new ones. We had this one boy that did not want to be there. He wanted to be home and was visibly upset or maybe scared. Paul handled it quite well and one of our 5th graders stuck by him the entire day helping him to have fun and get connected. Props to both of them. As the hour wore on he gradually loosened up, worship was awesome, we boarded the ship and then I proceeded to tell them about our destination. We were going to Easter Island (Easter was our lesson plan for the day), but it donned on me that some of these new kids might have never heard about Jesus. So I asked them, and sure enough 4 of them had not heard the story of who Jesus is and what He did for us. I proceeded to tell them the greatest story ever and made sure to make eye contact with all four of them throughout the story. They never took their eyes off of me. It was amazing! I was put in the same room with 4 new kids (2 of whom were brought by their friends) that had never even heard about Jesus, and I got to tell them about HIM!!!! What joy! I couldn't believe my luck! I'd struck gold in them thar hills. The seed was planted, now it was time for some water. I continued on with the lesson plan and the kids as always were right on the money with their answers. In the end I gave them an opportunity to accept Jesus into their hearts. Here's the best part! The new guy that didn't want to be there raised his hand and recieved Jesus into his life!!! What an honor, what a blessing. I saw 3 other hands shoot up, and was nearly positive that these were hands I'd seen go up before, none the less I was excited. I had been praying the whole time while teaching that one of these kids would come to know Jesus and one did. The seed planted, the water poured, and the harvest reaped. So young and ready to be poured into. How great it is to see a young one saved. They have the rest of their lives to proclaim the name of Christ and grow while they're young, whereas adults are already grown and it's often harder for them.

Lord thank you for the gift you've given me of being able to teach in Kid's Church. Help me to be more and more cognicent of what you're doing and where you're going so I can lead them in the same direction. Do not let me or the lesson plans or anything else ever become a stumbling block for your will for these little ones. Smash and destroy anything or anyone that gets in the way. They are yours and so are we. Lead us, guide us, and hold us close to your side.

Sunday, September 05, 2004

To be like a child

Jesus said in Mar 10:15 "Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein." After this sunday I have a better grasp as to what that means. The children I teach (or atleast they tell me that's what I do) during our Adventure Bay program in 2nd service are incredible. They worship with a fervor that even the most spirit filled worship leaders would be in awe of. They sing and dance with reckless abandon praising God not because I or anyone else told them to, but because they want to. There is evidence of this in the testimonies of parents that are constantly saying how their kids are singing their own worhsip songs around the house or start doing the motions and dancing when they hear a certain song the recognize played on the radio in some store. What's even more amazing is that when these young one's get too old for the class and go into 5th and 6th grade, they fight tooth and nail to stay in Kid's Church. They don't want to leave. They have now become a vital part of our team of helpers. They want to get involved in every aspect of Adventure Bay and Kid's church from picking out songs for worship, to cleaning up the water that Shriver the Diver has a tendancy to leave when he shows up. And they hold each and every task very dear. None is more important than the other. They're all involved with little cameo's or help out as a puppeteer or as a little mate as we call them. We've had to work out a deal with them since we do want them to be in their proper class and continue to learn and grow. If they stay for multiple services then they have to attend their class during one of those and can help out during the others or if they're parents stick around for only one service, then they can help out every other week. Every single week I've seen kids raise their hands to accept Christ into their lives or to reaffirm their committment to Him. They're always bringing their friends or other new people and are practically dragging their parents out of bed so that they won't be late. I don't know about anyone else, but I never dragged my parents out of bed for anything but Christmas. These kids are demonstrating this extreme behavior on SUNDAY MORNINGS!!! Praise God for the heart that he has placed in them. I cannot wait until they have moved on into high school and are regular hell razers. They are the one's who will be leaders on their campuses because they do what is right and will not give in to peer pressure. They will worship the Lord in Spirit and in Truth. They will be a light in the darkness, and the gates of hell will not be able to hold them back. God is raising up a mighty army right before my own eyes. He is using the outcast and pushed aside. The excess baggage that some parents begrugingly carry around. He has given me the wonderful blessing and opportunity to pour out what little I have to those who are so little in the eyes of this world. Is it any wonder that Jesus stayed in the temple as a child to talk to the priests instead of waiting till He was of the "proper" age. God uses the wisdom of fools to confound the wise. Paul told Timothy to not let others look down on him because he was young, I say that we should not look down on little kids, because of their age or size. They have more to say, and more to ask than we know. If we take the time to listen we would learn much.

Jesus loves the little children
All the children of the world
Red, and yellow, black and white
They are precious in His sight
Jesus loves the little children of the world

Lord continue the work You are doing in these little ones. Protect them from satan's devices. Do not let them be snatched away, but instead use them as hunters, deadly warriors to snatch others out of the enemies grasp. Even at this young age they are preparing to reap the harvest You have prepared. Instill in them a heart for the lost, a heart for missions, and most importantly a heart of worship. In the end Lord, it's all about You. Regardless of how much we care for others here or in other countries, if it all doesn't come back to worshiping You then it is done for the wrong reasons. Let them learn to love, for it is the greatest commandment. Teach them to love each other, but even more so to love You with all of their heart, mind, and soul. Continue to bring up parents, young adults, and even younger students to help out with this awesome ministry opportunity you've given all of us.

Friday, September 03, 2004

College group questions

I have been so wiped out and tired as of recently with long work hrs., school, college group, and church that when I do get time any more to check this stuff it's late at night and I'm really tired. If anyone should feel so inclined as to get the background to this post check out my buddy Obie's blog at

Lots of good questions were asked. The one I feel that needs answering the most is Suzie's which Ben also reffered to. Why not step up in our church and meet new people, start a group or whatever. To borrow a line from Obie, at this moment I want to be somewhere where I'm not expected to be in a leadership role. I've been a jack of "many" trades a good portion of my life. I don't want that to pour over into my spiritual life so much. I want to be good at one thing. Right now I'm teach Adventure Bay. I want to be the best I can be at that. Those kids have been pushed to the side by so many people because their kids. Many people think that kids church is kind of a place where they take their kids to be watched while they go to church, and don't take it seriously. I cannot give myself over to anything else as far as ministry goes, especially not with VLI starting up on the 20th. This semester is going to be slam packed for me. Then the question is, why can't I meet and hang with new people at Gilbert. Well, I can do that, but there are a few things that really hold me back. Time is the biggest one. I go to first service and right after it ends I hurry over to Kid's Church to help out and get ready. No time to meet people. Second if I did and we hung out, then it would only be right to bring them to the Cellar to get hooked up and not to the Living Room. However, if I am not currently attending the Cellar then that would mean that I'ld be taking people away from a group that is obviously trying to get something started. I don't expect everyone to understand, and there will be more questions, and possibly some hurt feelings, but what's a guy to do? You can please some of the people all of the time, but you can't please all of the people some of the time. Even when they're you're best friends. Right now I'm in a place where I'm being blessed, lots of great stuff is happening, I'm active all the time, and I see God using me in all the lives around me and God is using all of them in me. Does that mean that the above wasn't happening at the Cellar? No, it doesn't. All I know is that a few months ago I was struggling with temptation on and off, things were just ho hum, but now things are going well, I'm enjoying life and developing new, deep relationships with people that have had a positive impact on my life. I hope in someway that this clears the fog up and answers some questions.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

A Most Excellent Blog

Trust me on this one. My friend Joel has put out his own little 5 part blog on Perseverance and it is really good. I would encourage anyone and everyone to read it. Joel has an incredible way with words and many of his songs have touched me deeply. Check his site out at I'm sure you'll enjoy it.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

ROAD TRIP! (unrated version)

Not that any of my posts need ratings, right?? Anyway Andre, Gabe and I went to Huntington Beach last weekend for 3 days and had a blast! We did everything from surfing to six flags. We hit up some surf shops and bought a few things, had a good time at Joe's Crab Shack eating crab, drinking long island's and watching Andre do the carwash with the waitresses. Lots of good times and good laughs. We took loads of video and lots of pics. Stayed up way to late and did lots of goofy things. It was good to get away for a few days. The Funk's who are friends of my family graciously put us up for the couple of days that we were there and introduced us to Danny who taught us how to surf. God blessed us through and through by getting us free surfboards through Danny's friend Ethan, and keeping us safe up and back and all around Cali.

However it is good to be back. School started up, but for me it'll be next tuesday cause the first week is safety vids and a walk around the shop for the newbies. VLI will be starting up soon which I'm looking forward to. The Living Room is splitting back up into 3 nights again (tues, wed, thurs) and it looks like I'll be going to the wed. night Living Room. I'm kinda bummed that Andre, Gabe and another friend of mine will be going to the tues. or thurs. night Living Room's, but we'll see what God has in store.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Answer to prayer

I finally found a roommate. Fortunately he's alive, and he's a really cool guy. Goes to my college group. He has a townhouse a few miles from where I live and his roommate just moved out. The place is fully furnished with some really sweet stuff. I'm just going to have to buy a bed, bookshelf and a few other things for my room. All the furnishing stuff stays at my folks house because it's theirs. I'm really looking forward to moving out at the end of August. It's going to be a new and exciting adventure.

I'm really looking forward to this thursday as well. Andre, Gabe and I are going to Huntington Beach to go surfing for a couple of days and we're also going to go to Six Flags as well. A little before school starts fun.

Thursday, August 12, 2004

God is so Freakin' Awesome!

I can't even believe how good God has been to me. Since I started my welding job I've been praying daily at work especially that God would bless me, help my welds to improve, help me to work harder and more effieciently, and to give me favor in the eyes of my supervisors. He has done way more that I've asked. My welds are improving, but I still feel that I can do better. I work hard constantly because I am always operating out of a mindset that I'm competing for my job. They threw all kinds of special projects my way in the past. All kinds of stuff that was rush delivery or custom fab stuff that deviates from the norm. My boss comes up to me all the time now telling me how much he appreciates having me there and how great of a worker I am. When he says these things I honestly am thinking that he's gotta be kidding me. He's not, he's dead serious. I told him that I try and his responce was that many people try, but you succeed. I thanked him very much for the undeserved compliment, and thanked God for His hand working through me. There is NO way I could even make it there on my own strength or my own skill. There are lots of better welders there than me, but yet they have me doing the hardest stuff, that requires the most precision and are telling me that I'm doing an excellent job. Go figure. God is amazing! His faithfullness knows no boundries. There is nothing but good in His heart, and He's poured out His gifts upon me without hesitation or second thought. He's given me wisdom to handle tough situations, and the ability to keep the peace with all of the different attitudes that flare up there at work. He's given me confidence in other areas as well. Times when I struggle to speak up at work or out with friends, He's helped me. After looking into the past and being amazed at what He's done, I can only look to the future with great excitement and faith knowing that God is in control and He's taking me down the most Excellent and Exciting path in life. The straight and narrow.

Lord I love You, and I worship You. You are so faithfull even when I am not. I am so undeserving of Your love and compassion, yet You give Your love and Your blessings out to me freely. I will praise Your name forever. Help me to walk in the path of righeousness and live for You. Let me be a light in the darkness that is the place I work at, and a friend to those in need. Continue the work that You started in me, and do not let Your hand depart from me.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Ramblings of a Sojourner

Where to start, I''ve been quite busy. It's been a while since I've posted, and have yet to find a roommate. I put my engine, tranny, and performance parts up for sell and I've been getting calls like mad. I sold it last night for the requested $500. I can't believe the guy actually asked if I would drop the price. The core charge for a Ford 390, C-6 auto tranny, all the engine accessories alone would be more than $500, not to mention the brand new aluminum 4 bbl. intake manifold and edlebrock cam and lifter set. I almost laughed when he asked me that. I guess it doesn't hurt to ask though. Some girl also called on my truck. She seemed stoked, but I guess we'll see what becomes of it. I hope it sells quick so I can get a Super Duty for me, Andre, and Gabe's surf trip to Huntington beach here in a few weeks.

As far as work goes they have us working mandatory 10 hr. days. This wouldn't be so bad save the fact that it's in the 110-115 deg. range every day. That means that it's like 120 or more to me while I'm welding. I talked to my boss today and let him know that I'm going to MCC to get my welding certifications and wanted to know if I could buy my steel through the company. He told me if I was willing to go to school, he would buy the steel. Good guy. Also on the school agenda I'm going to be going to Seminary/Bible college through the Vineyard Leadership Institute. The nice thing is that I don't have go anywhere. They use the home church as a sort of satellite campus so you don't leave for 2-4 yrs., return and find that things have changed. You stay very involved in the church and are required to serve weekly and come up with some sort of outreach or something once a quarter. I'm really looking forward to it. I believe that God is really going to teach me a lot and better equip me for the coming years that I hope and believe will be in the mission field.

On a different, maybe deeper note. I was thinking about something today. The following would be assuming that there was a woman of great significance in my life. I was thinking about how when you find somebody like that, that you would do anything, or give anything for that person. If somebody told you that you could not have that significant other unless you gave them everything you had, all your possessions, all your money, everything but the clothes on your back. Would you? I imagine someone with many possessions might think twice, but not if that person was important beyond even their own life. I don't have many possessions, but what I have I still value. Even still I would give them all up. Now comes the part that is hard to swallow. More still like a knife to the heart. There is a God who lowered Himself to the standard of a human being. His name is Jesus and He died for us without question, without hesitation, even knowing the pain and sacrifice He gave it all. The greatest possession He had was His relationship with the Father. This relationship was the greatest thing on earth past, present and future. Nothing could ever be as great, wonderful, pure and holy as this relationship. Still Jesus gave even that up so that we could be ransomed unto the Father. What do we have that could compare? What sacrifices have we made that even stand in the shadow of such great love and great sacrifice? And yet we put our things which are worthless and perishable before our Savior eternal. We place ourselves and our desires above the One who's love for us was so great that it killed Him. How dare we, how dare I do such a thing. And then we see for a second how wretched we are when singing such a beautiful song like Amazing Grace. (Especially after knowing the story behind the song)

Lord I realize that you know my hopes and dreams and the desires of my heart, but I lay them all down for You and Your will and Your desire for my life. I don't know what that entails, or what direction that means I'll be heading, but I'll trust in You.

Saturday, July 31, 2004

Wanted: Room mate - dead or alive (preferably alive)

Dead room mates tend to stink and when their bodies decompose it would be kinda creepy. You know, he's really getting his stink on one night really late and you're trying to sleep cause you've got work really early in the morning. You get out of bed, can't see a thing, step out into the hall, open his door and just about pass out (partially cause a decomposed dead guy in the middle of the night can scare just about anybody and partially cause of the stink) cause you have a rotting roomate there staring blankly at you when you tell him to use more deoderant or to go bury himself under a tree or something. So now you know why I would prefer a living roomate.

It looks like the chances of getting a spot at "the hizzle" are slim to none, and Andre is staying at his parents place, sooo now I need to find somebody, anybody else to cohabitate with for the next little while. Problem is that 1. they really should be living, or atleast after they've woken up 2. they have to be male (that whole living with chicks thing would be wrong and involve way to much drama, ugh!) 3. preferably somebody who is a Christian and loves the Lord (just makes things a bit easier that way, ya know?) 4. and finally somebody who has a decent job where they make decent money to help pay the bills. Oh yeah, and the problem is that it's not that easy to find a guy not to mention a couple of them that are like that. (it seems kind of strange that I'm looking for "the guy" or guys instead of "the girl"). Hmm, is God saying something?? LOL, don't think so.

I've got about a month left here at mi casa before my parents come back from the Hopi Rez and I really want to get out on my own now. Can't afford to do it solo, nor would I want to. It's more of an adventure to have good buddies along for the ride, problem is most of mine are either married, getting married, or are content with kickin it with their parents for a few more years.

God help! I know there've got to be a few good men out there who need a room mate. Help our paths to cross.

Thursday, July 29, 2004

A short story

As I was going trying to go to sleep last night this story played itself out in my head.  As with most things I'm sure since I waited till morning it won't be exactly as I originally saw it in my head, but oh well.

It was late, the sun was down and the weather had been unfavorablely hot and humid.  wield been holding the line for quite some time now.  We'ld had a few attacks, but we were entrenched deep and moving forward every day.  I'ld been out on the line for a while and was exhausted, my entire body ached.  Things seemed under control and it looked like there was going to be a lull in the fighting.  I decided take a break and read some letters from my brother Luke and a guy named Nate Swinton that have been faithfully holding the line much farther east of me for quite some time now.  I leaned up against the trench wall and out of no where comes this beautiful lady.  I was a bit surprised by this and a little cautious, but she seemed friendly enough.  We talked for a while and I unknowingly began to let my guard down.  She said that she could help me relax and was really good at helping to relieve pain and weariness.  She was a pretty lady and nice enough so I gave in and let her rub my back and try to ease my aches and pains.  As I turned my back to her I felt something sharp and cold enter my back.  It was a blade, long and slender and she pushed it till the hilt was against my back.  I felt the tip pierce my heart.  As I fell over and hit my head on the hot, dry ground I heard her mutter the words "another sucker, they fall for me every time".  I reached around my back with what little strength I could muster to try and pull the dagger from my back.  It was no use, there was something about this dagger.  It was draining me of strength and the will to fight.  I was at her will as long as I had that dagger in my back.  I lacked the strength or desire to pull it from me now, so I lay there caught somewhere in between sleep and awake, life and death.  Evil visions and wicked perversions floated through my mind.  Tears ran down my face as I helplessly lay bleeding in the trench.  I began to call out for help, crying out forGod, but my calls where nothing more than whispers that got lost in the wind.  She mocked me and my God, saying "He cannot save you now!  You are mine and are in my control!"  I saw her for what she truly was for the first time, a wolf in sheeps clothing, ugly and wretched with eyes that were as black as the abyss and a smell that reeked of sulfur.  Despite her efforts to utterly destroy me, I continued to call out to God, but now I couldn't mutter even a whisper.  I called from my mind, hoping and trusting that He would save me.  Time seemed to go on and on, I thought this was the end.  Then I saw Him!  My heart leaped with joy and my strength increased just at His sight.  He was running out in the open, eyes afire, hair blowing in the wind.  His speed was unmatched and His commanding presence brought fear even to me.  His sword was His word and with one mighty stroke He hew her in half.  Her remains spontaneously combusted and scorched the earth where they lay.  The ashes were picked up by the wind and tossed about carelessly. 

My Commander in Chief knelt down to me and picked me up.  As He carried me, I thought He was going to ask me what happened, but He didn't because He already knew.  Instead He told me who she was.  "Her name was Sinthia" He said.  "Her daughters and sisters have been a secret weapon used by the enemy with devastating  effects for a very long time.  I've lost many a mighty warrior to her kind, and had many others wounded."  I gasped when He told me that nearly 90% of his fighting men had fallen to her kind at one time or another.  Then He reminded me of a time long ago when He first pulled me out of sin and saved me.  He reminded me how He used my dad to test me and see if I was truly seeking Him or if it was just a child wanting to be like the others.  He then asked me if I still had a special Book, It was one that He gave me the day that I became his son.  This Book contained His words and had everything I needed to stand guard against the enemy.  It contained my armor, It was my Sword, It told me of all the strategies of the enemy and what to watch out for.  I told Him that I did indeed have the Book, but hadn't been reading and studying It like He said I should when He first gave It to me.  He encouraged me to read His word and said that this was the way to healing and to stay strong in the middle of the fighting. 

We approached a place I'ld been many times before.  It was  a hospital of sorts but with a different name.  He started called it church and it was a place of healing for wounded soldiers.  It was run by veteran soldiers who had fought many hard years, and by others who were gifted more in healing and comforting than in fighting.  I was layed on a gurney stomach down.  The Commander in Chief told the minister of health that I had been stabbed in the back with a knife full of lust.  The minister grimaced as the knife reminded him of a battle he had fought with a sister of Sinthia earlier in his life.  They prepared to pull the knife out, but gave me nothing, because there was no medicine that could help me deal with the pain.  Just as the minister of health was about to pull the blade from my back, my Father put His hand on mine to put me at ease and give me peace.  He then told the minister to proceed.  The blade came out as easily as it had gone in, but the wound was deep and a bit infected.  I asked my Father to forgive me for my sin and to change my heart and heal me from within.  He looked at me and smiled.  He said "I love you, I will never leave you nor forsake you.  You are mine, I bought you and I would pay that price all over again.  You my son are forgiven."  As He said these words tears began to run down my face, I fell at His feet in worship and adoration.  Strangely enough the wound in my back began to heal and to close up, but the scar was there and it was an ugly one.

The next day I went back out to hold the line with my head held high, my armor on, and the Sword in my hand and in my heart. 

Thank You Lord for Your never changing love that keeps us strong, picks us up when we fall, gives us advice when we need it and heals us when we're wounded.  Change my heart O God, make it ever true, change my heart O God, make me more like You.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Video of the week

This is one I got from my former employer Jeff Harb.  It's pretty funny.  Again you may have to type in the link, but it may work.  Who knows.


Tuesday, July 27, 2004


This past week has been something else.  Life is usually a lot like a roller coaster, or atleast mine is.  However as we all know, people are always designing new ones and trying to make them more extreme.  The past week seems to have been one of those weeks where my life was trying to take me on one of the most extreme rides yet.  Up and down, right then left, twisting and turning, getting inverted, going high and going low.  It's been a long week.  So much has happened.  Where to begin....

I think I'll begin by going to the bathroom, then coming back.  Now that I'm done with that....  I guess work is as good a place as any to start.  It's been hot and humid due to the monsoon moisture in the air.  Working in that open warehouse in 110 deg. heat and high humidity is miserable.  Especially when I'm wearing 2 shirts and leather/canvas bib to protect my arms and torso from the molten balls of metal that spark and fly up at me.  It kinda sucked not having any of my friends around.  Most were either in Ireland or at the highschool youth camp.  Even tues. night I found only one person I knew at The Living Room.  Friday I went over to "The Hizzle" (name my buddies gave the place were the 6 of them live) for food and fellowship.  Hanging out with all of them is always fun. 

 Saturday Andre and I went out to eat for lunch and ended up having a long conversation with this couple that was sharing a table with us.  Turns out they were Christians as well, and they both seemed really encouraged to meet us and talk about God and what He's doing in our lives.  Andre decided that he was going to stay with his folks for another year and a half instead of moving out and getting an apt. with me.  He's going to do the Vineyard Leadership Institute training that's going on at our church and won't be able to afford rent with the monthly cost of that as well.  I was bummed, but new that it was a wise decision and supported it wholeheartedly.  After that we went to the Kids Church Beach Party at Val Vista Lakes.  It was loads of fun.  I got to throw the kids up in the air, chase them around, get chased around, and they seemed to love it too.  I was a water jungle gym for them.  Party got crashed though by a really fast moving storm.  Everyone cleared out and by the time I left and was on the street, there were palm trees, light poles, and other trees laying in the street.  Cruising down the highway with an 1 1/2 of water on the road made for an interesting drive as well.  Ended up going to another party after that with Andre and Gabe.  Stayed there till nearly 12:30 and got a ride home from Mike.  Talked to him about if there are any free spaces at "The Hizzle" and whether or not one might be available to me at the end of Aug.  He said there should be and that he would talk with the other guys about it and pray about it.  Don't think it would be long term, just for a while.  I like have some space.

Sunday was great, but the second service kids seemed to be out of it.  It's like someone swapped personalities with the first and second service kids.  None the less we had a good time.  I bailed right afterwards so I could talk to Pastor Jack.  I told him about the 2 pics that Kim and Ron gave me then about the one that came to my head afterwards.  We talked for nearly an hour about it.  Something that I really picked up out of talking with him was that man's way typically is fast and happens when it' s convenient, but God's way happens a bit slower, and when He wants it too.  This requires patience.  I told him how being here made me feel and how I wanted to go back to the mission field and everything I said kept confiming what he had said earlier.  I've considered doing VLI, and am now set on doing it.  I've just got a new job which the Lord is blessing me at, and I'm going to be taking over one of the kid's church classes here in a month or so.  Right now it just seems that the Lord is going to use the next 2 yrs to teach me how the better use the tools that He's equipped me with.  It was nice to have my folks home for a few days as well. 

Monday went by looking for Tuesday, although I rented 50 First Dates and watched it with my family.  Pretty funny movie, a little crude, but worth watching.  I'm glad that tues. is finally here.  I really enjoy going to The Living Room and hanging out and listening to the various speakers.  The fellowship there is awesome. 

I'm going to go crash for a little bit.  Work wiped me out today.  I got dizzy a few times cause of the heat and maybe the fact that I was sweating more water than I could possibly drink.

Parable of the sower and the soils - What you do and say is a reflection of your heart.  Even if it's in jest.  What type of soil is in your heart?  Rock hard like the pathway?  Stoney like the untilled earth? Filled with the weeds of this life like the thorny ground?  Or is your heart soft and fertile ready for planting and perfect for an awesome harvest?

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Take comfort weary Sojourner

I have been praying a lot recently about work and life in general.  At work I'm always praying that God would help me to work harder, and do better.  That my welds and quality of work would improve and that He would give me favor in the eyes of my supervisors.  He has done that and so much more.  The quality of my work is improving, but I think I can still do better and have much more to learn.  My bosses are keeping me slammed with work everyday.  I'm always fabricating something new or making a full playground set or doing special orders or whatever they need done right away.  I've always operated on the premise that my job is on the line that way I work hard and try and stay humble (if I can say that without coming off proud).  My boss is a hard guy to figure out, but today he said some of the most encouraging words to me.  Basically he said that they were making some changes and I was their welder/fabricator and would be depended on heavily in the changes that are to come.  He said a lot of other encouraging stuff that really gave me a boost in self confidence at the work place.  God has now also possibly opened the door to return to Kenya with YWAM working on Lake Victoria ministering to the island folks.  We'll see how that pans out.  Right now I'm just trying to wait on the Lord and not rush into anything.  I keep seeing this picture in my mind that is sort of a blend between the two pictures I got sunday and something out of the movie "Twister", but here it is.  I see myself walking down a straight muddy road that has water on both sides of it.  I'm struggling with my cross that is over my shoulder much like was depicted in the movie "The Passion of the Christ".  I'm in the middle of a huge storm with rain and sleet, but worse than that there are 3 water spouts twisting all around me.  I trudge on head drooped, back burdened, just trying to make it.  Did I just eat some bad food?  Probably not, this picture has been in my head since I heard Kim and Ron tell me of the ones that they were seeing.  What does it mean? 
I take comfort under Your wings.  You are my strong tower and place of refuge, You are the reason that I sing.  I may be wounded, but I will not leave the fight, because You are healing me.  The fog of war has blinded my eyes, so now I listen, I listen for my Savior's voice.  You lead me through the valley of the shadow of death, You are a shield around me.  When I stumble You catch me, and when I'm weak You carry me.  When I cry You comfort me, and I know that I am never alone. 
Psalm 23
The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.  He makes me lie down in green pastures;  He leads me beside quiet waters.  He restores my soul;  He guies me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.  Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for You are with me;  Your rod and Yoru staff, they comfort me.  You have prepared a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows.  Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Monday, July 19, 2004

Wonderings of a sojourner

Church was awesome this week.  Especially considering it had been about a month since I'ld been able to sit in the main service.  I had the opportunity to cover for some of my friends while they were either giving birth to a baby or visiting their family.  That time I spent in Kids Church doing Adventure Bay was awesome.  Nonetheless I really enjoyed being able to worship and listen instead of teach.  This week was really something though.  A couple that had been going to our church a for a number of years then left to go to the mission field with Frontiers were in town and spoke.  It was really exciting to see what God was doing through them and how they are able to support missionaries in muslim nations that are under cover and operating in secret as well as in public.  May the Lord continue to bless their ministry and keep the missionaries they are supporting safe.  At the end pastor Jack asked for anyone who was feeling or has been feeling a call to missions to step up front.  Having already gone to Kenya and now having a heart to return to the field full time, I stepped right up, so did my brother and sister seeing as they'll be leaving in 1 1/2 for Ecuador.  A couple folks prayed for me, Kim our worship leader said that he had a picture in his head of a huge lake, and on it there were 2 boats.  One was a little paper boat with the words "man's way" written across it and the other was a huge ship so big you couldn't see the full length of it and on it were the words "God's way".  He said he saw me sitting in the paper boat trying hard to get across the huge lake.  One of the other guys praying for me said he saw a picture of a giant whirlwind.  I was in the middle of it where it is calm.  He said the whirlwind represented distractions in my life and that the peace or calm was God.  Every now and then the whirlwind would touch me, and he said that this represented me getting distracted.  I've been thinking about those 2 pictures since sunday morning and I'm not sure what to make of it.  I just got denied from working with Mercy Ships due to a Maritime Law technicality.  I see it as God shutting one door and keeping me here for something else.  The question is what?  He has completely changed my heart and given me a passion for missions, and I don't believe He would do such a thing only to deny me this passion.  I feel like a lion at the zoo.  Dangerous, but locked away.  Refusing to except that this is all there is, hoping that I'll be able to roam the jungle once again, believing that God has so much more for me than the so called "American dream".  This is not my dream.  So what does all this mean?  If I'm trying to do it on my own, what is it that I'm trying to do that is wrong?  What is man's way?  What is God's way?  What are these distractions that seem to take my attention for a little while?  Why am I asking so many questions?  Why can't I be at peace where I am at?
Lord reveal things to me.  Part the fog and give me clarity of sight.  Reveal to me the meanings of these pictures you gave Kim and Ron to give to me.  Show me the distractions in my life and help me put them to death, or atleast put the desire in me for them to the sword.  Help me to maintain focus and know what to do.  Should I stick around for 2 years and commit to VLI?  $100/month is a lot.  Should I go to school instead and get my welding certs?  I need Your guidance and direction.  I need Your wisdom too.  Show me Your ways and lead me down Your path.  Give me peace in the midst of confusion.  I love You Lord and will follow You wherever You would lead me.  You are my strength in my weakness.  As Paul said "to live is Christ and to die is gain", just as he felt so do I, death is my friend, but I will follow You until he comes.  So lead me Lord, lead me, even to the ends of the earth.

Friday, July 16, 2004

Video of the week

My bro sent me this one a while ago and I still laugh/cringe when I see it.  I've been having problems getting the sites to link up so you might have to type the page into your address bar, but it's worth checking out.
Funny video

Funny joke

Got this off of ebaums world  Disclaimer-If you do decide to check out the website, some of the material may be inappropriate or offensive.  So use your discretion as to where you venture. 
Quick Joke: A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.
They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."
Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing. Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.
The guy calms down and says: " Make 'em all ugly again."

Old friends

The past month has truly been amazing to say the least.  I've started going to this college group called Vital Impact.  It's at the church/school that I used to go to back in 4th-8th grade called Grace Community Christian School.  After I graduated the 8th grade I went to a public high school whereas most of my friends went to a Christian one.  I would see them every once in a blue moon, but very few of them I would see.   Oddly enough I went to a tuesday night college group gathering/Bible study with my buddy Andre.  Then over the next month  I saw all these guys/gals that I used to go to school with at Grace.  None of them were from my class, but where from Micah, and Luke's classes.  I was amazed at how much they had grown up.  I know I really shouldn't have been, but none the less, after some 8 or 9 years it's just crazy to see that their not the little brothers and sisters of my friends.  By far though the coolest thing is that the ones I'm seeing are really following the Lord.  That is so encouraging.  I was afraid that many of them would rebel and turn their hearts from the Lord, like many pastors kids tend to do.  Many of them have gone on missions trips, are interested in missions, or other ministry areas, some are discipling younger guys/girls.  One of the other great benefits about going to this college group has been that I've made lots of new friends that are in the same boat or same stage of life as I am, whereas it seems that the college group at my church tends to be a little heavy on the married/couples side.  That may not be a bad thing, but it is hard for me to relate to where they're at in life cause I'm not married/engaged.  It's just really exciting to see what God is doing in the lives of a bunch of my old friends, and now a bunch of my new friends.
Lord continue to bless the work you have started at Vital Impact.  You are raising up people there to be Your ambassadors to the nations and to our own nation with an unashamed boldness.  Let us continue to come together as the new testament church did, being of one heart and mind, helping each other, and seeking after you.  Continue to transform our lives and let our lives reflect more and more the image of Your Son.  Continue as well to bless the work You're doing in the hearts and minds of those that go to The Cellar.  Many have recently entered new stages of life and need Your strength, love and, guidance as they live for You first, and theirs spouses second instead of dwelling upon their own needs first.  Be with those in Ireland and give them open minds and hearts.  Give them courage to speak unashamedly about Your saving grace, and also give them ears to hear the words that others might speak.  Pour out Your presence among them, guide them and protect them.

Saturday, July 10, 2004

Video of the week

Better turn up the volume on this one! Type in the following link


These are the lyrics to a song that a friend of mine wrote, and it's the cry of my heart. His name is Joel Bidderman (, the song is called Waiting and it's off his album titled "depravity, grace, and reckless abandon".


This road is dusty
And it's getting to my eyes
So that I can't see where I'm going
Or even the time
But I'll trust in You
Though it feels hurtin' to me
And though I can't see

Job, Abraham and Sarah
We could talk for hours
About wishing that Your timing
Was a little closer to ours
But I'll toast to You
With my rusty heart
And my cup that's full of tears

Lord I'm waiting, I'm waiting
For You to save the day
For You to hold this heart -- (repeat chorus)

Walking for miles, through mud and rain
Looking for the sun to rise
On a field so dry, I cannot feel
It's as if something has died
So I'll wait for You
With my hands tied
So that I can feel the joy of Your touch

And they that wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength
They will mount up with wings as eagles
They will run and not grow weary; they'll walk and not faint
So teach me wait

As I was wondering about why I'm still here in Tempe, AZ., and why I'm not out in the mission field this song came running through my head. I've thought through all the possible reasons that I can think of as to why God has me here and not somewhere else. Maybe I'll meet a great woman of God and get married. Maybe I have heart issues that need to be dealt with. Maybe there are things to learn that I'll need to be more effective abroad. Maybe it's a number of things, maybe it's none of the above reasons and maybe He just wants to teach me patience. I know that God has instilled in my heart the desire, and the longing to give my life over to others in the mission field for a reason. He didn't send me to Kenya for a year, give me a passion for missions and completely change my heart and priorities only to deny me of those things later. All of the maybe's listed above are things that my heart desires. Now if only I can learn to wait on the Lord, so that He can renew my strength, so that He take me in my brokeness and remake me, so that He can teach me how to love, and so that He can heal this wounded soldier and form me into the most lethal of spiritual killing machines.

So Lord I'm waiting, I'm waiting
For You to save the day
For You to hold this heart...

Thanks Joel

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Guidance part 2 If you click the link you will see a rather graphic illustration of the point I made in Guidance part 1. If you haven't read Guidance part 1, then read it, then check out the video. The point I made is that you can never account for all the unknowns in life. The guy in the above video probably never had a clue that his day was really gonna suck. Newton's second law just changed the course of his life if it didn't end it. Ouch!

Dead animal flesh and things that go BOOM!

That's right, it's the 4th of July, or atleast it was. After a very long, sleepless in Phoenix weekend, I finally was going to have a good time. My bro Micah and his wife Chrissy invited me and and 2 buddies over to watch fireworks on their roof. Central Christian was only a mile away and was having a big display. I invited my buddy Mike (who used to go worship with a large group of us at the lake every sunday) and his girlfriend Christine. Andre and I had to run back to the house to get the grill cause I forgot it. See what lack of sleep can do to a guy. Anyway, when we got back to Micah and Chrissy's, we found that Ducky was there and Mike and Christine were right behind us. We fired up the grill, tossed some dead cow on it and some dead pig ribs that were slathered in BBQ sauce. Mmm, dead animal flesh. Now, the 4th wouldn't be complete without fireworks. Fortunately Micah still had a huge pack of bottle rockets. This is were things got interesting. We decided to tape a bunch of them together. The funny thing is that the fuses don't burn at the same speed. This caused quite a ruckus as about 15 bottle rockets started bouncing off the wall, roof, and yard while spraying sparks everywhere, then finally ending in a bang. Unfortunately one of the rather large sparks found its way onto the swing cushion and started burning a hole in it. Me, being the bright fire fighter that I am, tried to smash the burning little hole between the two fingers of my left hand. The problem was that I was holding a beer in my left hand, which ended up all over the cushion. The only thing we learned was that we needed to do it bigger and better. After the food was finished we ate in haste knowing that the fireworks would begin soon. As we all scrambled up onto the roof, you could hear the loud cheers and yells of other neighbors as they lit off fireworks from their roof. Not to be out done, we started launching dozens of bottle rockets at them. Ah the good times. Unfortunately I had to work the next day so my night stayed young. Hope everyone else had a kickin Independence day, and I also hope none of you were unlucky enough to find a stray bullet falling from the sky.

Saturday, July 03, 2004

Cowboy up you wussy

What was Adam's main sin? Was it that he took a bite of the forbidden fruit or was it greater than that? If you read the account of Genesis 3 maybe you'll agree with me that if he wasn't a spineless pushover that the world would be a different place today. We all know that the serpent tempted Eve and that she gave the fruit to Adam. However, I want to take a look at Eve's heart in this issue. I believe that Genesis 3:6 gives us a look into the error of her ways which is a common characteristic found in the daughters of Eve even to this day. Verse 6 says that "When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate it; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate it". The first part shows us that Eve was already rationalizing to herself why the fruit would be good, but the part that really stood out to me was that it was a delight to the eyes. We find this to be something that is inherent in women ever since then. Not only do they want things that are delightful to the eyes, but moreover they want to be a delight unto the eyes. Now let's look at the second part of verse 6. Adam, hmm, where was he? HE WAS RIGHT BESIDE HER!!! God told him NOT TO EAT of the the fruit of that tree. It is safe to assume that because Adam and Eve where always together that Adam also told Eve this, but for the sake of quetioning this, I propose that Adam didn't tell Eve. So here the two of them are at the tree, Eve's having a flirty little chat with the ssseductive little serpent and as Satan convinces her to eat of this fruit what does Adam do? Does he take a stand and tell her what God said not to do? Does he rescue his fair maiden from the hands of the evil one? NO!! The coward stands right beside her and let's her eat the fruit. Even worse, when she has some and gives it to him, he's so stricken with her beauty and her words, that he, the spineless fool that he is eats some as well. And now Pandora's box is wide open. God now steps into the scene and curses the serpent, the woman, and the man. The woman gets pain in child birth, but even worse is that she passes these traits to her daughters. They now seek to seduce the hearts and eyes of men with their looks and feminine ways, they devise to have control in the household, and they desire things of beauty. The man, the stupid fool that he is had the God given power and ability to change the course of history, but he made the wrong decision and now we'll never know what road God may have taken us down. The man would have to work hard for everything he needs. The sweat, blood and tears would be poured out onto the earth and all it would render would be thorns and thistles. The man would be susceptible to the seductions of the woman because he listened to her instead of listenening to God. He would constantly be in a power struggle for control of the household, but the worst is that his sons would have the suffer the same shame of being a spineless coward that he did. Men from that day forth, would struggle at doing the right thing at the right time. When faced with a challenge they would show their weakness and often cave in. Case in point, Abraham, Sarah, and Pharaoh. David and Bathsheba, the divorce rate today because of unfaithfullness. If Adam as the first man would have stepped up and been a man, then we would be living in a very different world today. Eve wouldn't have eaten the fruit cause Adam would have taken control of the situation.

All this came to mind because last night Andre and I where hanging out with some friends from the Grace Community College group. We went to play whiffle ball at Tempe town lake, but they closed it up on us for the 4th. The whole lot of us guys then met up with 2 girls from the college group and went to mill. They said they were going to do steet witnessing. I really didn't feel like doing this. My heart wasn't ready nor in the right place. That bothered me all night. The Bible says to be ready in and out of season. We're not called to be Christians when we feel like it, or when our hearts are in the right place. We're to be ready to answer any questions people may have. The thing that bothered me was that just like men past, instead of sticking it out when it was uncomfortable and something I really didn't want to do, the spineless coward reared his ugly head and we went to grab some grub instead. I thought about it some more last night. I've never been the type of person to go looking for opportunity necessarily, I'm more the type that goes about life and when opportunity knocks, I answer. So street witnessing really doesn't seem to fit with my personality, whereas taking the chance to talk to someone you run into and steering the conversation towards talking about God is more the way I operate. That kind of seems like a copout though. I'm very unsettled about this....

Friday, July 02, 2004

regret of a fire fighter

Innocence lost, cannot be regained

Thursday, July 01, 2004


Something I've noticed while reflecting upon my life is how and where God has intervened in my life. To me it is clear that it is God who is intervening at certain times to move me in one direction or another. I've been checking PM's blog ( and there is a guy on there that you cannot convince no matter how obvious the evidence that 1. there is a God, and 2. that He loves us and is righteous and just. It is an ignorant, arrogant person who honestly believes that he/she goes through life living on their own strength. That they are in control of their own fates. If you stop to think about it, there are so many unknown variables to account for. When you drive or walk down the street your life is at the mercy of many unknowns. You don't know what will happen in the future, all you can do is make decisions based on what you think could happen and play them out. I believe it's Newtons 2nd law that states "An object at rest stays at rest unless acted upon by another object, and an object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by another object". Our lives are these moving objects. They move in the general direction that we choose until they are acted upon by another object. These other objects are called tools and are wielded expertly by the hand of God. Whether good or bad, He uses them to change the direction in which our lives are heading. Just like when a baseball is flying towards the catchers glove, in an instant the bat hits it and changes its course. Many people would call it fate. I believe that they are intentionally denying the fact that it is God not fate that does this because then they would have to own up to everything they've done and acknowledge that they are not in control.

Lord, today I acknowledge that You are in control. I cannot recall the number of times when You have intervened in my life and used one of these tools to change my heart or my course in life. I know that everything I have has come from Your hand, and that even though many of the things I've gone through haven't been the best of experiences, you've used everything to make me more like You and to bring glory to your Son. Continue to to intervene in my life and change my course when I go wrong or I seem to be stumbling in the dark. Hold my hand and guide my steps.

Prov. 21:1-2 The king's heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord" He turns it wherever He wishes. Every man's way is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the the hearts.

Prov. 12:15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel.