Saturday, July 10, 2004

Patience

These are the lyrics to a song that a friend of mine wrote, and it's the cry of my heart. His name is Joel Bidderman (www.joelbidderman.com), the song is called Waiting and it's off his album titled "depravity, grace, and reckless abandon".

Waiting

This road is dusty
And it's getting to my eyes
So that I can't see where I'm going
Or even the time
But I'll trust in You
Though it feels hurtin' to me
And though I can't see

Job, Abraham and Sarah
We could talk for hours
About wishing that Your timing
Was a little closer to ours
But I'll toast to You
With my rusty heart
And my cup that's full of tears

Lord I'm waiting, I'm waiting
For You to save the day
For You to hold this heart -- (repeat chorus)

Walking for miles, through mud and rain
Looking for the sun to rise
On a field so dry, I cannot feel
It's as if something has died
So I'll wait for You
With my hands tied
So that I can feel the joy of Your touch

BRIDGE:
And they that wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength
They will mount up with wings as eagles
They will run and not grow weary; they'll walk and not faint
So teach me Lord...to wait


As I was wondering about why I'm still here in Tempe, AZ., and why I'm not out in the mission field this song came running through my head. I've thought through all the possible reasons that I can think of as to why God has me here and not somewhere else. Maybe I'll meet a great woman of God and get married. Maybe I have heart issues that need to be dealt with. Maybe there are things to learn that I'll need to be more effective abroad. Maybe it's a number of things, maybe it's none of the above reasons and maybe He just wants to teach me patience. I know that God has instilled in my heart the desire, and the longing to give my life over to others in the mission field for a reason. He didn't send me to Kenya for a year, give me a passion for missions and completely change my heart and priorities only to deny me of those things later. All of the maybe's listed above are things that my heart desires. Now if only I can learn to wait on the Lord, so that He can renew my strength, so that He take me in my brokeness and remake me, so that He can teach me how to love, and so that He can heal this wounded soldier and form me into the most lethal of spiritual killing machines.

So Lord I'm waiting, I'm waiting
For You to save the day
For You to hold this heart...

Thanks Joel

4 comments:

friend said...

Maybe you are suppose to lead all those people who want to go to Africa: I have heard these people talk about it: HW, JM, IA, CM - That is 5 people waiting for someone to step up to the plate. I am sure there are more.

Luke said...

That's powerful bro. You've got it so right. God will move. Hey, if you go to Africa, let me know, I can't say that I wouldn't be tempted to go as well. Love you bro.

David Killough said...

It sure is good to hear from you again. Whether or not I'll be back in Africa or not I don't know. What I do know is that God has put missions deep within my heart, to the point that living here in the U.S. makes me feel a bit like the lion at the zoo. Full of power, a ferocity waiting to be unleashed, but it's all being tamed because he's been put into a box. If he ever got out though, watchout world. You've got a great thing going on in Kansas with those jr. high/highschoolers, not to mention a few other college age people. Keep it real bro! Talk to you later!

Anonymous said...

Hey Dave,

That is a powerful song! You know Kathy read them and it made her cry. It makes me think of so many of us at different times of our lives. I know the Lords timing for your destiny is perfect and he knows all they Whys and Whens etc...So I pray for you... Lord give David the Grace to wait in perfect peace and fill him with the knowledge of you more and more, fill him with your perfect Love so that deep inside in the depths of his being he knows that it is always and only you and none of us that will touch and change the world around us here and everywhere we go. Unleash the Spirit of God, the Presence of the Holy Spirit in every conversation and interaction with others as he walks this path. I know he Loves you with his whole heart. Continue that wonderful molding that you do in all you Love. Bless him as you increase and he decreases. Cover him with Peace. Blanket him with Your Love.
Bless you All wise Father. We Love you.