Wonderings of a Sojourner

My First Song

2006-04-16T21:17:00.000-07:00

V1
I'm calling can you hear Me?
Come join Me at my side
Come and know forgiveness
Come and know true life

C1
Would you give it all away?
Could you trade it all today?
Would you give it all for One thing?
Would you give it all for Me?

V2
I'm calling are you listening?
The banquet is inside
Better things await you
If you'll surrender your life

C2
Well I gave it all away
I died on the cross that day
I gave it all for one thing
I gave it all for you

Ending
Will you give it all away?
Will you trade it in today?
Will you give it all for the Only thing?
Will you give your life for Me?

Climbmax Gym

2006-03-18T19:14:00.000-07:00

Check out the work I've been doing over at Climbmax gym. Go to facilities and check out the pix.

www.climbmaxgym.com

Quiz courtesy of Obie

2006-03-04T10:45:00.000-07:00

Four Jobs I've had
Parts man - worked for my dad for a couple of years
Wildland Firefighter - Bar none the best job I've ever had, great money, hard work, good times
Welder Fabricator - another awesome job
Business Development Coordinator for Ace Asphalt(current job) - Great job that is very challenging. Never gets boring or monotonous.

Four Movies I can watch over and over
Braveheart
Saving Private Ryan
Band of Brothers
The Princess Bride

Four TV shows I love to watch
LOST
My Name is Earl
LOST
LOST

Four Places I've been on Vacation
Disneyland/Seaworld
Makinack (pronounced Makinaw) Island
Mombassa, Kenya
Mt. Kenya

Four Favorite Dishes
Hummus
Sashimi/Sushi
Erin Bealieu's tamale pie
Anything my mom makes

Four Websites I visit Daily
Your blog
My blog
www.climbaxgym.com
www.overlandmissions.com

Four Places I'd Rather Be
Africa
Florida w/ Overland Missions
South East Asia building our new base & climbing unclimbed cliffs
Rock climbing anywhere in the world
Fortunately I am right where God has me =)

Four Blogs I'd Like to see do this quiz
Sheeztrue
Dr. Howard
Micah
Patrick

Mike & Javier w/ bouldering walls in background

2006-02-26T22:28:00.000-07:00

Mike climbing on the overhang we made

2006-02-26T22:27:00.000-07:00

Me welding at Climbmax

2006-02-26T22:26:00.000-07:00

Col. 3:18-21

2006-02-25T23:58:00.000-07:00

Col. 3:18-21

This passage of scripture is one that I believe is abused more than any other. More husbands, wives, and children misread this text and misinterpret what Paul intended for it to mean than any other scripture in my opinion. Why this one? Because Paul instructs the above on how they are to live in regards to each other.

Most wives read Col. 3:19 and tell their husbands that they are to love them as Christ loved the church and not to be harsh with them. This only exacerbates the men and ticks them off. Most husbands read Col. 3:18 and tell their wives to submit to them because it is fitting in the Lord. Then they go on to talk about how Christ is the head of the church and the husband is the head of the household. This only pushes their wives farther from them relationally. Most parents read Col. 3:20 and tell their kids to be obedient because it pleases the Lord. Though this is correct, if the above is not being lived out correctly, the kids are not going to listen and will retort with Col. 3:21 telling their fathers that they shouldn’t emitter their children so that they won’t become discouraged or even rebellious.

The above is the western translation of a great piece of scripture. However, I find that everyone is reading the wrong scripture. Paul wrote Col. 3:18 for wives to read, not husbands. Col. 3:19 was written for husbands to read, not wives. Col. 3:20 was written for children to read and learn from, not for parents to harshly enforce. And Col. 3:21 was written for fathers (and I would include mothers in this day and age) to read on how they should treat their children.

If a wife submits to her husband, her husband will find it easy to love his wife because she respects him and trusts his judgement. And if a husband loves his wife, she will find it easy to submit to him because he cares about what she thinks and feels and will take all of her thoughts into consideration. If parents encourage their children and raise them up in the admonition of the Lord, they will have demonstrated proper living and will have children who trust them and will obey them.

Each verse though written together might as well have been written separately for men, women and children. Which verse are you reading?

Integration

2006-02-07T05:32:00.000-07:00

I've been following for a short time this blog by a girl named Ellen. Her latest post is a must read. It's about living an integrated life for Christ. It really does sound weird from an earthly perspective, and even foolish, but God has so mightily used the foolish things of this world to confound the wise and make His Name famous. If He used the wisdom of this world, we would boast in our wisdom, but we cannot boast in anything other than Christ, because He doesn't use our wisdom, but our weakness. We must have complete faith, faith that is crazy and doesn't make sense. Stop using our brain so much to rationalize things, and trust God with EVERYTHING. Live a life of reckless abandon for Christ, trusting him for everything.

You may not make sense of what inspired me to write all of that until you read this post. So here you all go, it's called "Integration": http://ellenjoy.blogspot.com/

Blessings!

Go or Send

2006-01-17T23:36:00.000-07:00

If you feel the call of God on your life to serve and advance the Kingdom of God overseas, full or part time, then I would highly encourage you to check out Overland Missions at www.overlandmissions.com .

If you feel called to something else, then I would highly encourage you to find a missionary or missions agency that is actively involved in preaching the Gospel and advancing God's Kingdom and I would support them monthly. If you cannot go, then you should send. Use the seed (things God has given you) wisely by blessing other people with it. Do not hoard it and store it up, because one day a match may consume all you've worked so hard for. Instead, store up treasures in heaven and be a channel through which God blesses others through you and the things He's given you.

If anyone would like to speak more about missions or Overland Missions, please feel free to contact me, and hopefully we can sit down and talk about it. If this is not possible then a phone will have to do. Also, if you have questions about Overland Missions that I may not be able to answer, the staff there is incredible and will gladly take the time to talk with you and answer your questions. I know firsthand as I was able to spend a week with them serving them in any way I could.

Romans 10:14-15 How, then can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they beleive in the one of whom they ahve not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"

His Kingdom Come

2006-01-17T23:14:00.000-07:00

A week or so ago, I dropped off my buddy Jared we hung out and he spent his week off at work with Paul and I. I went into his dad's apt., and we talked awhile. His dad (Bill Shipman) was so proud of what his son Jared had done and how quickly he had picked up the art of doing a take off. We spent about an hour catching up and talking. Bill was telling me how he was in serious pain because of either gall stones or something was wrong with his liver. He said they did an ultra sound to check for stones, but the results hadn't come back. If it wasn't stones then there was something seriously wrong. Well before I left, I told Bill that one of the reasons I had come in was that I wanted to pray for him. He certainly wasn't against it, so I did. He said he didn't feel anything, so I prayed again and then went on my way. Well tonight he tells me that the following morning he woke up and felt no pain!!! His jaundice was gone, finger nails returned to normal color, and eyes were clear again. The test results came back negative that there were no stones which indicated a serious problem with his liver. The doctor did another check to see if the mass that was there before was still there and it was gone.

GOD HEALED BILL!!!! His Kingdom came into that apartment and invaded his body healing it from the liver problems and removing the mass. Not only that, but God provided for him in numerous other ways including providing a lift for his wheel chair. The people of God acted with one heart and mind in Christ and did what the people of God are supposed to do. Provide for those in need. I was so stoked about hearing this from Bill.

I strongly feel that as I continue to step out in faith, that the Lord will use me more and more and these kinds of occurences will become the rule more than the exception. His Kingdome is breaking in, and is looking for willing vessels to lay hold of it and aggressively advance it. There are marching orders to follow though, and we have to be obediant to them if we are to have a part in the Army of God. Jesus said "If you love me you will obey my commandments". As we do this, the Spirit of God will come upon us because we are willing to lay aside our rights, pride, and life so that His Kingdom, and His Agenda can be advanced.

I ask those of you whose hearts are stirred by this, join me and let us be the violent ones who take hold of the Kingdom of God and aggressively advance it with little regard to our own lives here on earth. Let us pour ourselves out upon the nations so that through our sacrifice this world will be consumed by the Fire of God which no one and nothing can put out or stop.

Lord, may Your Kingdom come, here now in my life, on this earth, and may Your will be accomplished in my life and on this earth as it is in Heaven.

Editing picture profile

2006-01-14T01:35:00.000-07:00

Does anyone know how to do this? I downloaded Picasa thinking that would help, but it didn't help in that area. It's been so long since I put a profile pic in I forgot how to do it. Any ideas?

5.7

2006-01-14T00:50:00.000-07:00

My first lead climb ever. I followed that with a 90' 5.9 and then attemepted a 5.10A which I then fell 15' on. Last week I successfully lead the 5.10A and will hopefully post the pics of our adventures soon. Does anyone know how to make a subpage just for posting images?

Overland Missions Conference

2006-01-02T18:29:00.000-07:00

This conference was what I've been longing for, for a long time. I found people who had the same heart, and vision for missions, and where doing it well.

Vaughn Gerald who is a Vineyard Pastor in upstate NY was one of the speakers at the conference. The Spirit of the Lord was on him. He gave the best message about "seed" I have ever heard in my life. During that ministry time afterwards, I felt the Lord telling me to sell all of my guns and give the money away to the mission field. A little while later some details about who to and how came about as well. Therefore I will step out in obediance, and sell all of my guns save my 10-.22 which my dad gave me. One of my buddies in Florida is going to buy my handgun, but all of the others are up for grabs.

I really felt a connection with these folks and have a strong desire to work with them. This was echoed strongly by them as well. I'm going to go on a trip with them this year, and Lord willing, I will move down there towards the end of the year and go full time.

I hope to bring more people with me to the conference next year. Especially people who are just out of highschool or are not far into college. I think it's sad that the greatest thing most young people have done is go on a cool vacation, or do do something that will quickly be forgotten. If I live to be an old man, I want to be able to tell my grandkids that God used me to change the world. To be able to tell the stories of how I saw God change people's lives with the Good News, and to see them healed, and set free from spiritual captitvity and physical illnesses.

Those of you who saw the call of God on my heart and generously responded with monitary support I thank you soooo much. You allowed me to help someone else in like manner. Those of you who prayed for me that God would speak to me and show me things; Thank you all sooooo much. He has spoken, and taught me a lot. Now I have to put all my trust in Him, and go where I believe He's calling me to go.

Please continue praying for me. I will need it desperately in the year to come. I will need wisdom, and the ability to plan well without putting my faith in planning and losing faith in God.

Romans 10:14 How, then can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news?"

If the LORD has begun to call you into the mission field, even if it's short term, then join me and let us find those who will call our feet beautiful. What you sow, therefore you shall also reap. Pour out your life for others, and others will pour out their lives on you.

Good News!

2005-12-18T19:34:00.000-07:00

Well I had some good news today. My good friend and roomate Justin was offered a great job back home in S. Carolina where all of his family is. What makes it even better is that his girlfriend Rachael has decided to go as well (I believe the girlfriend status will change within the year). I'm really excited for them. Justin gets his cake and can eat it too. It's always awesome to see God work things out like this.

Unfortunately that means that my good friend and roomate will be moving home soon, but will come back evey 2 weeks to see Rachael until she can move out in April. So I'll have his half of the rent payed through March, but will need a roomate who can afford around $350-$375 a month as our lease doesn't run out until September. A lot of things are changing quickly around me.

It's funny how in hindsight I loved the fact that Kenya was so unpredictable and you never knew what life was going to hit you with next. It kept me relying on God for everything, and now I find myself in a similar situation stateside. I'm going to need a roomate soon this much I know. I'm also a little picky on who I live with. Ultimately the Lord has a plan behind all of this, and will provide for me, and will bless and take care of Justin and Rachael.

Lord, thank You for Your faithfullness to us. You've been so good, and You are always working in our lives to make us more like you. May this stage in my life bring me closer to you.

Don't Waste Your Life

2005-12-16T23:44:00.000-07:00

I'm currently reading a book by John Piper called "don't waste your life" and in the 1st chapter he's talking about how C.S. Lewis' book "Mere Christianity" heavily influenced him. Here is a paragraph from his book.

"He ahs made me wary of chronological snobbery. That is, he showed me that newness is no virtue and oldness is no vice. Truth and beauty and goodness are not determined by when they exist. Nothing is inferior for being old, and nothing is valuable for being modern. This has freed me from the tyranny of novelty and opened for me the wisdom of the ages. To this day I get most of my soul-food from centuries ago. I thank God for Lewis' compelling demonstration of the obvious."

That paragraph goes against everything we practice today in society, both in the business world and in the church. Cutting edge is the ticket, who can come up with the "cool" new thing. There's an old saying that goes something like this: "Today you're in the paper, tomorrow that same paper is wrapping fish." The message is that what may seem like a big deal right now will soon be forgotton.

Why then as the body of Christ do we fight to be so cutting edge, and trendy so that we can be culturally relavant? What we should be doing is looking at the things that have lasted over centuries and are time tested and haven't passed away. Christ is the best example. People aren't attracted to Him because He's new, novel, or cutting edge. They're attracted to Him because He's faithful, and never changes. He's always relevant and His words can speak to anyone, anywhere at any time.

Now am I knocking contextualizing the gospel to fit culture? No, I most certainly am not. The Jesuits did a great job of spreading the gospel because they conformed to cultural norms like clothing, food, manners, speach and all other things that may allow them to reach the people without comprimising the gospel message in any way. What I am saying though can best be summed up by a quote from my friend and co-worker Jim Wimmenauer's pastor when he said "Whatever it costs to bring them in, it will cost more to get them to stay". You give a mouse a cookie, it'll want milk. If we are using things that will quickly pass away to bring people in, they are eventually going to want more. That's human nature. However, if Jesus is what brings them in, then they'll never want to leave as Paul B. correctly replied to the above quote.

So this begs the question. Why are you going to church? If we're honest with ourselves, we may find that it's not always Jesus.
This begs the next question. As church leaders, if people are not coming and staying because of their captivation with Christ, then we are doing something tragically wrong. A church is nothing but a building filled with white washed tombs if the center of our hearts isn't focused entirely on the glorification of God. And if that's where our hearts are as a body, God will be there and I can garauntee that we won't need to going fishing for the fish, they'll jump right into the boat.

Where is your heart looking?

God forgive me for letting my heart constantly put it's gaze on other hopes, dreams, ambitions, and people. Those things are all baggage that I carry, help me to let them all go so I can once again focus on You. If I'm focused on you, I won't need to go looking for action, because the action will come to me. The lost will more clearly see You in my life and once they've experienced You, will never want anything else again. I praise Your Holy Name.

Long Day

2005-12-12T18:19:00.000-07:00

Today has been an incredibly long day. I just took a new postition at Ace Asphalt as their Business Development Coordinator and have spent the first day being completely overwhelmed with info.

I know that with any job transition, there is a learning curve, but mine is going to be especially steep. I have reports that are due weekly and must be done along with many other things. Fortunately I have Robert Howard and a few other good men to lean on during this time and train me up. I know that once I start understanding the order of things, priorities, and am able to really get a grasp of things and remember it, then I'll be doing ok. That may take a little while though. This entire week I'll be arriving at work at 6 a.m. for training, and will continue it throughout the day.

One thing is for sure, and that is that I didn't get where I am by myself. It is God and Him alone that is to credit for me being where I am. So I take comfort in that He will help me through this stressful time of intense learning, and hopefully I will exceed their expectations and be able to bless this company.

Lord be with me. Keep your hand upon me and bless everything that I do, that in everything I do, glory will be given to Your Name. Help me to work harder and smarter, and make things more effecient. Help me to quickly understand the new software systems I'm going to be working with. I desperately need you by my side and need you to walk me through this. May your name be glorified in all the earth.

The Provision of God

2005-11-24T18:36:00.000-07:00

Recently I was invited to a missions conference in Cape Canaveral, FL. This conference is the annual missions conference for Overland Missions alumni, staff, and people who have a heart and passion for the advancement of God's Kingdom throughout the entire world. David Phillips, one of the staff there set me up with a place to stay should I decide to come, and after considering it and talking with David some more I decided I would try and get the time off of work. My thoughts were, if things come together than perhaps God is behind this, if not, then I will continue to wait.

Well last friday I met with a group of Christians at my work (Ace Asphalt(which we do every friday)) and were telling them how I wanted to go to this missions conference and asked if they would keep that in their prayers. Well I found out that getting the unpaid time off wasn't a problem, so I asked that they would pray for a cheap plane ticket despite the holiday season.

Later that day, one of my buddies calls me into his office and tells me that him and another buddy of mine have decided to sponsor me to go there. I was shocked to say the least. I haven't asked anyone for a dime and people are coming to me to sponsor me just to go to a missions conference. I was extremely encouraged that I had they're prayers and support without even asking for it.

So now I'm searching for a plane ticket. What I need is people to pray that I'll get an incredible deal on a plane ticket that leaves during the morning of the 27th so I can arrive in mid afternoon, and leaves around noon of the 2nd, so I don't get home to late. Also continued prayer that God would really speak to me at the conference and that I'd build lots of strong relationships there as well.

Lord, I thank You that You've given me such a great calling and put me around such great Christian friends who believe that what I feel called to do is something that is worth supporting, and that by investing their resources into me, they are investing them into advancing Your Kingdom. Please continue to direct me and give me patience as I walk down this seemingly long road that You've decided that I should walk. Help me to listen and hear You, and obey what You say. I love You Jesus, and I need You to live Your life through me.

The Power of God

2005-11-11T05:59:00.000-07:00

I've recently been thinking alot (I know this is very dangerous) about Paul's conversion in Acts as I've been reading through Luke's historical account of the 1st century church. In 3 days he went from a man who murdered Christians and said that Jesus was not the promised Messiah, to a man who boldly preached and convinced even some of the religious leaders in Damascus that Jesus was indeed the promised Messiah. Something amazing had to have happened him to completely change his life like that so quickly. Meeting the resurrected Christ on the road to Damascus would be something else, but we're also told in Acts 9:9-11 that he spent these 3 days fasting and praying.

Now we know that Jews knew the Torah well through schooling, but the most exceptional students would go on to know all of the wisdom lit, and prophets as well. This was Saul's world. He was well versed in scripture and didn't believe the claims that Jesus was the Christ. Did Jesus' appearance to him cause the immidiate change or did that power encounter open the door for God to do some work in his life. I believe that it's kind of a both/and type of deal. It's a lot like believing that when we turn the key to our car it will start and then we can drive wherever we want to go, but we really don't know how all this works. If we wanted to be effective advocates and teachers of automobiles then we'd have to learn a good bit about them so we could teach others. This is the same thing with Saul. He was going to be a rabbi/teacher, but now he would be a different type of teacher. One who knew that the OT prophecies concerning the Messiah were fulfilled in Jesus.

I think Jesus appearance to Saul was the catalyst to his change, but ultimately when he spent those next 3 days seeking God while praying and fasting is when the truth was entirely revealed. After Ananias prayed for Saul and his vision was restored in Acts 9:19 we're told that "at once he began to preach in the syagogues that Jesus is the Son of God."

You may begin to wonder where I'm going with all of this, so here it is. It seems that with most people you can have a casual conversation about spiritual things and talk about Christ. You may get somewhere or nowhere through talk, but generally it's pretty easy to do. Radicals however cannot be reasoned with or talked to. They are absolutely set in their ways and the moment someone disagrees with them religiously, it's time to beat them and maybe even kill them. Radicals are changed by radical things. Something naturally supernatural and unexpected that brings truth into their face like a freight train running into a pinto. The radical encounter with truth knocks them for a loop and then they have to deal with it.

All of this is stemming from the atrocities that have been committed in Indonesia by radical muslims there towards the Christians. I've been thinking a lot about his whole deal, and wondering what it would take to lead these muslim extremists to Jesus. If people who like Paul had nothing to lose went there in the power of the Holy Spirit, preached boldly, showed the awesome power of God by healing folks, raising murdered from the dead, going into villages and sharing the love of Christ with them, can you imagine the impact that could have. Some could die, and I'm sure some would if not many, but for them to know that Jesus is the One True God and that He loves them and is not willing to give up on them even though His own should suffer as He did so that they may come to know Him as Lord and Savior. Wow, how incredible would that be. Could I do that? Is that were God is leading me or should I pursue this position at work? I don't know, but what I do know is that according to Eph. 2:10 God has already prepared in advance good works for me to do. If that should include something in Indonesia then He will reveal it to me in time. If I'm to stick around and work with Ace for a bit more, then He'll show me that too.

Lord I trust that you have the best in mind for me, and you know where my heart is, but know also that if I'm to stay here I will be happy. As long as I have a place in advancing Your kingdom I'll be happy. Lord I ask that you would reveal yourself to these muslims over in Indonesia much like you did with Saul. They are persecuting You just like he did and are trying to make the gov't side with them and prohibit the reading of Your Word. Soften their hearts so that they may know Your truth and respond to it with eagerness. Bless them and the Christians over there. Give Your people in Indonesia strength to endure persecution and death, and yet give them the mercy, compassion, and love to forgive their enemies and pray for them as well. I know that you love everyone regardless of what they've done and You would have everyone come to know You. I ask that this would happen in Indonesia.

Update police, back off

2005-11-05T14:43:00.000-07:00

I have a post, back off, I know how to use it!!

I had a moment after I finished doing some work at work, off the clock of course to respond to a post that Obie www. klaobeforehim.blogspot.com made on holloween. I absolutely had to post on that so if you want to see my latest wonderings and rants, go there. Hopefully my wireless will be up soon and the I can post at the wee hours of the morning or late hours of the evening. Blessings to all!

Blessings of God 2

2005-10-08T22:25:00.000-07:00

I'm just amazed sometimes at how God really does take care of us and provide for us. This comes to mind because recently I've been looking for a Toyota Tacoma to buy and a buyer for my Scout. Well, I finally found the Tacoma (praise God) and it has been a great truck. There are a few little issues I need to get straightened out, but I'm just happy to not be driving the Scout. Once I bought my Tacoma I was looking for a way to sell my Scout. I knew that it would be a while in the truck trader because it's a vehicle for a very niche market. That didn't give me a lot of hope, so I prayed and had others pray that my truck would sell fast and for a decent amount of money. I bought my Tacoma on a thursday and 2 days later a climbing buddy of mine calls me up on saturday morning and asks how I'm doing and if I'm still selling my Scout. I'm kinda stunned at the randomness of the phone call, but told him about my recent purchase and what I was asking for the Scout. He had moved to Tuscon and wanted something to go offroading with his family in, but his kids were to young for quads. He bought it a couple days later for $3,700 which is a decent price that seemed like something we could both live with. His family is loving the Scout and have been doing a lot of 4 wheeling in it. I'm glad it's found a good home.

The biggest thing is that a friend who didn't have my number and who I hadn't talked to in months calls me up out of the blue and buys my Scout. That's God, no if's, and's or but's about it. That gave me money for a new computer and money to refinance my truck loan in 6 months. God has also blessed me relationally with great friends and family. I pray that I can do rightly by Him and be who He has called me to be. That I can be the kind of son, brother, grandson, friend and employee that reflects the love of Christ and is always willing to serve others. Help me to know what it is like to be a follower of Christ. Teach me your ways, may the dust from your feet cover me.

Therapy in Writing

2005-09-06T22:31:00.000-07:00

It's so nice to be able to type something out and release what you feel and think, then be able to have the wisdom to know that it is good to get off your chest, but not good to share with the world.

I've really been thinking a lot about the sovereignty of God lately. How He commands everything and how He has orchestrated all of history, using man's decisions both good and bad to accomplish His perfect will. How he provides for the birds of the sky and clothes the flowers of the field, and yet sometimes I wonder if He will provide for what I need. That is a dangerous place to be.

Adam and Eve were when the questioned God's goodness and thought that God was holding out on them. God knew what was best, but let them make their own decisions and 7000 yrs of humanity has paid the price for their sin.

Therefore, though I know what I desire, I do not know if it is good for me or not. Or if I am good for the object of my desire. God ultimately knows what is good for me and His plans are trustworthy. Prov. 16:9 says "The mind of a man plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps." Also in Rom. 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose." These verses are comforting above all things. To know that God is working out my future despite my plans, dreams, and hopes is very encouraging.

I was watching a Nooma (www.nooma.com) DVD where Rob Bell tells the story of how him and his wife were going to look for a kickball for their son. At the mall there was a kiosk that sold these rubber balls that were on an elastic band with a loop on one end for your wrist to go in. Rob put it on threw the ball and tried to catch it but it hit him in the face. His son instantly wanted one, but his parents knew better. The toy may have been good for a while, but they knew what was best. His son wasn't very happy as they picked him up and carried him away. They went to a sporting goods store across the street to continue their search for a kickball and found a whole wall of them in all different colors. Rob told his son he could have any kickball he wanted.

Sometimes I'm like Rob's little boy. I want something bad, it looks like fun, but God knows that it'll probably smack me in the face and then I'll not want it anymore. How often has He had to pick me up kicking and screaming, take me across the street and show me that He had something so much better in mind for me.

As I'm walking through life, I constantly find myself in situations where I have to stop and think, is this the best God has for me, or am I settling for second best? Is this the job that I should be at? Should I be working harder to move into full time missions trusting that the seizure stuff will be taken care of? Should I stop investing so much of myself into a relationship that may never go where I'd like it to? Should I continue investing at work trusting that God will open up the door when the time is right and continue to pour myself into this relationship trusting that God will work things out and that loving somebody selflessly will always produce good fruit, even if it's not harvested by you.

Lord I don't pretend to know why I am where I am, and how to make sense of all the ups and downs in my life. What I do know is that You are constant and unchanging. You never fail me, though the world should crash down all around me, still You will be there. Forgive me for taking my focus off of you and putting so much attention on things that should be second not first. Teach me to live my life as is depicted in the song Keith Green so eloquently sung when he pledged himself, his wife and his son to the Gospel. Give me a heart that seeks diligently after you and is heart after Yours.

Church is a Blast!

2005-08-22T23:19:00.000-07:00

What kind of church can you go to where the pastor will only have a vague idea what he's preaching on, is unsure of how he's going to deliver it, yet the Lord totally moves, and the pastor has blast doing it?
What kind of church can you go to where you get to act out the sermon, hunt for clues that lead you to the main point of the sermon, and is highly interactive?
What kind of church can you go to where you can break dance, do the robot, the sprinkler, the lawnmower, the worm, or the disco dance while praising and worshipping God?
What kind of church can you go to and be accepted by everyone?

If you're wondering where this church has been all your life then I'll tell you. The only condition I have is that if this sounds like something that is interesting then you absolutely must come atleast once. This church is the church of our future. It's the church our kids go to.

This past sunday was a total blast. None of us teachers did the responsible thing and called around to see if there was a written up curriculum for this week. We all assumed, and were disappointed come sunday morning. Nonetheless, God used it to His glory. We did something completely different than the typical Adventure Bay hunting for clues deal. We had everyone act out the story of Moses sending the 12 spies into the land of canaan and it was so much fun. We will definitely do this about once a month.

The kids were laughing, participating, coloring, and answering questions like it was going out of style.

It's so nice to be able to escape into the world of a little kid once a week, jump around, roll on the floor and just have a blast and not have to be so serious or concerned about other things. I think I find that I'm most alive when I'm in that state of mind. Absolutely cut loose and just enjoying life. I can't wait till I can do that with my own kids.

Over the Crux

2005-08-18T18:53:00.000-07:00

I just found myself relating life to climbing, then I deleted everything I wrote. Must have been smoking something.

Wonderings of a Sojourner. What does that mean? Beyond the dictionary definitions, to what does that mean in life? To call oneself a sojourner and to live as one are 2 different things. Biblicly speaking all who are called by the name of Christ are sojourners, wanderers in this land waiting to go Home. Do we really live like that though? Do I? What things and people have I allowed my roots to get wrapped around? Could I leave the pseudo protection of knowing where I am, pull my roots out of the ground and go to war? Have I already stretched out my limbs and pulled my roots out and begun to walk the war path that has been worn by men and women far greater than I. Do I use seizures as a crutch to not go do what I truly want to do, or is God using it as an anchor to keep me from going wherever the wind blows. Who/what is my crutch? Is it God? Is it work or medical insurance, desire to get married, friends, family, or myself? Why do I feel as if I'm on the crux ( hardest part of a climb) with the end in sight, but I just can't pull off the move. Is it because I'm hesitating to do what I know needs to be done? Do I know what needs to be done? Do I have what it takes to do what needs to be done.

All I want is to get my head above the clouds, breathe the fresh air, and feel the Son warm me. There has got to be more to life than this. If a lion was born in a cage, he never knows that there's anything more to life than a cage. But once he tastes freedom, I mean absolute freedom, he can never be content to have anything less than freedom. Once he's experienced the rush of stalking his prey, chasing it, bringing it down, tearing into it's flesh and tasting the fresh warm meat and blood. The animal in him comes out. He knows that this is what he was meant for. Everything he had known before was a make believe world that ran off of somebody else's clock, but out here in the wild, there's only One timekeeper. To put such in animal back into a cage is the same as killing it. When will the Timekeeper, come with the keys to my cage and let me return to the wild where I was meant to be. Length of life is not always as important as quality of life. I've often said that "if you're not living on the top or on the edge then you're simply existing". I am sick of existing. God's kingdom will be advanced, but not by those who are merely existing. Matthew 11:12 From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it. According to an interpretation of this by Matthew Henry, Jesus was talking about a highly regard tradition of zealous Jews that would ascend to Heaven and forcibly lay hold of the Law. This was how passionate they were about God's law and following it. It was looked upon as greater than peaceably accepting the law in the eyes of the Jews. Jesus then may be using this to say that great are those who passionately advance the Kingdom of God and with the direction of God in the Power of the Spirit force the enemy into retreat as they preach the Gospel with boldness to all who would listen.

Lord let me be that way. I'm but an orphan cub adopted into your family, but my teeth are sharp, and I've tasted the blood of our enemy. You've shown Your power to me and I know that it's in me as You are in me. Send me out to let the other orphans out of their cages and to destroy those that have them bound up. Give me courage and boldness so I won't be like the lion in the Wizard of Oz. Make me like You oh Mighty One. The Lion of Judah who can stand against You? Who is left standing in Your presence? Even the mightiest of men wet their pants when they see You. Your whispers turn mountains into valleys and makes the earth tremble at it's very core. Who is like You? Your roar is that which would destroy the universe, nothing created can stand before You. Blessed be Your name and Your will be done. Raise up a people, set them apart for Your purposes, may I be counted among them.

For those who have been counted, and who's blood is covering the earth, who's cries scream out for mercy on their murderers and persecuters, give them and their families Shalom. Give them strength to get over the crux and to do what You've called them to. For my brothers and sisters who are laying hold of the Kingdom and forcibly advancing it, give them courage and boldness in abundance. Send them encourgers to keep them pushing forward. Protect them and provide for their needs.

Praise be to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit who though separate are One in the same and equally worthy of our praise as God, as LORD, and as Savior.

Backpacking trip to Granite Mtn.

2005-08-09T04:39:00.000-07:00

Last saturday we had a great time up in Prescott backpacking up Granite Mtn. It was a little hot for the first half of the hike, but started to cool off once we passed the tree line. Up at the top myself and my 2 friends Justin and Jen took pictures and relaxed.

We weren't up there long when the lightning and rain started coming down hard. The 3 of us ducked under a huge boulder that had fallen onto 2 others, but made plenty of shelter for the 3 of us. The rain and hail lasted about 45 min., but made for a fun trip and a cool story. Unfortunately my 4 other friends got caught 3/4 up the mountain in the storm and couldn't find much cover. Here are some great pics of Justin, Jen and myself goofing around and passing the time in the storm.

http://www.kodakgallery.com/ShareLandingSignin.jsp?Uc=677dtkb.38ghtvkj&Uy=z9dcqe&Upost_signin=Slideshow.jsp%3Fmode%3Dfromshare&Ux=0

Love and Talk

2005-08-05T23:01:00.000-07:00

A saying I've said frequently is that people will talk about the things they love more than anything else. Whether this is a David Killough original or I heard it somewhere I don't know. What I do know is that it is incredibly hard to not talk about something or someone you love.

Recently I experienced this first hand and it made me physically sick. It's so much easier to do what what would make one's self feel better, but to operate in someone else's best interest and put yourself aside is very hard.

Jesus said that "Greater love has no man than he would lay down his life for another". Now Christ was referring to Himself in this passage and was forshadowing what would happen to Him. However I disagree with a common interpretation of this text that dying for someone is what Jesus is talking about. I think that's only part of it. To live for someone, and not for yourself is far more difficult. That's what Jesus did, and what I've recently learned is very hard to do. Nonetheless, this is something I want to do.

To invest in someone knowing that there may be no short term benefits, but in the end, you may have a very good friend who you can love and trust.

So I will hold fast to this difficult path I've chosen and continue to invest myself into another and be a friend.
However I cannot do this alone. It almost tore me to pieces a day or so ago. Lord I need Your help. Please give me wisdom in abundance and help me to be more like You in everything I say and do. Give me perspective through the people you've placed in my life and help me to not operate out of my own self interest. I love You Jesus, guide me and lead me.

Wisdom?

2005-08-05T11:19:00.000-07:00

Well, for the first time ever I've deleted a post. That seems almost heretical to do such a thing, but people far wiser than I thought it unwise to post what I did. Because I have a lack of perspective, I thought it best to trust those who can are distanced from the situation and can see much more clearly than I.

How can I know if what has happened or is happening is good or not? If the outcome is favorable in my sight, is that really good or bad? Things are not always what they seem. An apparent blessing could actually lead to a curse, and a curse could lead to a blessing. How do I know if these things are good or not???

Perhaps in seeking God first and seeking His will I will know.

Guess my blog is ready for some change

2005-08-01T14:44:00.000-07:00

So what's the big news in my life? Climbing, ministry through climbing and outdoor stuff, reaching out to international students with my buddy Mike Jacobson by way of a really awesome girl that I've had the privilege of getting to know. Who knows what the future may hold? It's in God's hands and His perfect will, will be accomplished in His perfect time.

I'll post more later. Later could be relative though.

Ready for some change

2005-06-11T16:53:00.000-07:00

Man it's been along time since I've been on this thing. I'd be suprised if anyone even checked it anymore.

I sure have been restless these past couple of weeks. Wrestling with time management, trying to be content in God's waiting place that I find myself in. Trying to give time to things that will benefit me now somewhat, but even more so down the road, while recognizing that I'm 23, single, and still involved in a lot of college stuff wanting to build relationships with other folks and still go out and do stuff. It seems that when I tell my close friends about this they always counsel towards the prior, but they all happen to be married with atleast one kid. They were where I was once, but they don't think the same way anymore so it's going to be harder for them to understand where I'm coming from. Gets kind of frustrating when people insinuate that what you enjoy doing is what you shouldn't be doing, regardless of why you do it.

Another opportunity has opened up before me. Possibly a chance to go help start up another branch of Reachout Expeditions www.yd.org which would be in Boise, ID and would reach out to trouble teens through relational engagement in a place where they can expereince God away from the distractions of daily life (to take a quote from their web page). Climbing, rafting, backpacking, etc. are just a few of the means by which they do this. I've already told my close friend and his wife about it. Really I'm looking for a small group of people who's hearts are missionaly geared and would be down for travelling together as a small community going wherever God would lead us, teaching, preaching, and discipling with the blessing and empowerment of the Holy Spirit. This maybe an opportunity to use VLI as soon as I finish and also do some extra training at the Boise Vineyard as well.

Also trying to feel out a relationship I've sort of developed with a girl that I climb with. Hoping that I'm not reading into things, getting excited about what I see God doing in her, wanting to know more about her, and to what extent she's willing to give up her life for the sake of Christ. To wait, or move on.

I've felt for a long time that I've been unready for these types of relationships or big changes, but now I'm ready to see how ready I am. I'm ready to pursue relationships with people who will build me up as we go to pour our lives out on the nations, and who I can build up, teach, and learn from in the process.

God I praise you for your patience with me, for your mercy and compassion as you look down and see your child wanting to grow up so quickly and be like his Daddy, when there is so much more to learn and understand, and so much more to unlearn and be rid of. Still I remind you of your promises to your servant Abraham that continue through the True Israel, and are promises to me, I ask you to fulfill those in my life, as well as the prophecies that you have given me. May I find your Shalom in my life, and be a well of living water in the center of the storm of life for those who need to know you and are seeking that which you have so graciously given me. Your Holy Spirit, adoption into your family, hope, meaning, true life, and a mission to accomplish. Please, I beg of you, reveal to me the way I should go. Don't let my feet go to the right or the left, but be found walking out your will for my life. Be my guide oh God of my fathers. Go out before me, or cut me down where I stand and return this flesh to the earth from where it came and my spirit take home to be with you. Let me bask in your presence, and teach me to yada' you Lord. It is not enough for me to just know you. Lord help me make some sense of what's going on in life, and give me the wisdom to make wise decisions, and the courage to do what needs to be done despite the difficulty of the task. I need you in my life, deep inside, beyond the fusion of bone and marrow, but to where spirit and spirit are one. I need your mind, your heart, and the passion that drove you to die for me.

Busy, busy, busy

2005-05-18T20:12:00.000-07:00

I don't know that I've ever been so busy in my life. It seems that free time is something that I have to make now rather than I have by default. These past two months have been something else. I've seen 2 of my closest friends get married, been in both their weddings, planned both of their bach. parties, changed jobs/careers, dealt with med. ins. company frustrations, dental stuff, working on my truck stuff, looking for a new truck stuff, VLI stuff, lots of hours at work stuff, planning a leadership event, going to a leadership conference, home group, Kid's church stuff, and lots of other stuff.

The above is not a life, but a tornado going round and round whipping me in every direction trying to pull me apart. Trying to maintain some semblance of a life and making time for friends, family and the building of relationships while accomplishing all the other things is impossible. Much of the stuff has come and gone, but more is always there to replace it. I am so ready for Shalom to be over my life. My knees and feet are hurting, head splitting, painful bowel movements, still with epilepsy, dropping pills like any 23 yr. old guy would. This is normal right? To be dependant on drugs to keep me "normal".

I'm ready to be done with it all, and people wonder why no matter how I die, I will die happy, and why I say the sooner the better. Sometimes I feel like Job, wallowing in self pity, woe is me, life sucks, but then I take a step back and pull off the negative lensed shades that sometimes cover my eyes. I look around at what God has done for me. What He is doing in me now, and what He has told me He is going to do and where He is taking me. I learn the lesson of perspective from Job that even though some areas of life seem rather troublesome and painful, God has His mighty hands in those areas, and like it or not He will use them for His glory. Whether it's to demonstrate His awesome power as I'm healed, or to demonstrate His incredible grace as He gives me everything I need to face life and the situations/problems that are in front of me or that I'm currently in. When all is said and done I can say one thing and one thing alone. Though He gives and takes away, my heart will choose to say blessed be the name of the Lord.

I look forward to what you have for me, and the adventure that lies ahead. Please heal my body, and give me Shalom over my entire life.

Blessings of God

2005-04-15T22:14:00.000-07:00

What a day. Went down to the doc's office and picked up a prescription for 3 months of depakote (seizure meds), and the kind lady gave me some samples to get me by until the meds come in. This means that I won't need COBRA and will save the money that I would have spent. This is awesome! My dad went with me to cosign on a loan to buy a 4 dr. Tacoma TRD, but we won't find out until probably tomorrow whether or not it will go through. I believe it will, but we'll wait and see. So my dad and I went to go grab some Rubio's before the extremely awesome Worship Gathering (http://www.worshipgathering.com/) that just ended. While I was parking this guy comes up and starts going off on how cool my Scout is. Asks a bunch of questions which I was of course more than willing to answer, and asked if I'd sell it. I said it was for sale and told him how much. He was stoked, asked for my number and said he'd call me. Now I don't put a lot of stock in words, but I haven't even been advertising, and he asked me if I would sell it, I didn't tell him. Lord help him to buy it. =)

The worship gathering was awesome. I can't even begin to think of other words to describe it. I was singing and enjoying worship and then when they did a song I knew differently I was caught going through the motions. There was a short break where there normally wouldn't have been and my hands went up and my heart went down. I was crushed, stripped bare realizing that my song was from the flesh and was not in Spirit and in Truth. I was being fake. Broken I closed my eyes, sealed my lips, put forth my hands, prayed and waited. I cryed and asked God for forgiveness. I could not open my mouth to sing anymore until it was from my spirit to His, and it was in Truth, and not a product of memory. I waited and prayed. Kathy Lott taught us how to sing a simple song in sign. That was the ticket. I broke down as I signed this song and sealed my lips. I wrote on the wall what the Lord was saying to me then wrote my prayer to Him. The rest of then night I worshiped Him with such fervor and joy. Aah, it was incredible.

Lord thank you for showing me this. Continue to show me these things that are hidden in my heart. Reveal the things in me that are not of You, and destroy them. Make me like You, let me live and worship in Spirit and in Truth.

The Beginning of the End

2005-04-12T16:38:00.000-07:00

I turned in my 2 weeks this morning. I've been praying that God would be there and would speak through me. I prayed and sang on the way to work today, ushering in the presence of God. The first thing I did after clocking in was talk to my boss. The news came out in a way that seemed as if it was well thought out, though it was all spur of the moment. My boss took it well. He asked if there was a bidding war and if there was that he would out bid ACE. I told him there wasn't, then gave him my three main reasons for leaving.

1. ACE offers advancement opportunities that will teach me more cool new things, help me grow, and provide for me better financially.

2. The immediate and hopefully future financial gains will allow me to put away money for missions, save money to buy a house, and give me the financial support necessary to support a family when the time comes.

3. The end that I believe God has called me to (missions) seems best accomplished by the means of employment at ACE Asphalt. I've seen God's hand on Paul and Robert and I have no doubt that it is also on the company in part because the founder is a God fearing man who is aggressively advancing the Kingdom of God throughout the world.

The day went well after that. I worked hard, efficiently and I felt the Spirit on me. Despite my left foot hurting, I had some bounce in my step.

It will be nice to give my body a physical rest and to treat my ears, eyes, lungs, feet, and everything else much better. Now I've got to devise a way to stay in shape while sitting at a desk. I think a climbing membership is in order.

Blessings, a New beginning, and an End

2005-04-11T16:46:00.000-07:00

Recently Paul and Robert have been clueing me in on a job at ACE that they both thought that I would be good at. At first I was unsure because I felt a loyalty to the company I work for, I knew that they needed me, and would do almost anything to keep me. They had taken care of me, and given me two raises one for each review. On the other hand I saw what God has done through Paul and Robert and how He's blessed them there and suddenly I felt like a dog with 2 bones. I was quite content with the bone I had, it was good and treated me well. But suddenly a bigger, better bone showed up and I started wanting that one. I wasn't content anymore with the bone I had. I began to think too much about the other bone and my work began to suffer. My boss even noticed it and asked if I was okay. I had to put an end to it right there. Called close friends and talked to family and had them pray for me. So I went to ACE interviewed with Robert and we decided that until God gave both of us peace about the issue, that we should wait. With people still praying, I thought about it more and more, and asked God to speak clearly. Clearly isn't what I got, but I did began to think in terms of what I believe God's future is for me and how I should go about accomplishing it. ACE seemed the clear choice for better provision financially, less stress on my body (foot is beginning to hurt again), more chances to move up and around, and a chance to learn lots of new stuff on the other side of what I'm used to doing.

So Robert called me today and said that they would like to bring me aboard. When I pass the drug test, ACE asphalt will become my new employer. Now the hard part. Breaking ties with current employer. I like my boss and some of the people at PW Athletic. They are coming into the busy season quickly and my leaving will really put them into a fix. None the less, I know what needs to be done, and I feel with more certainty now that God has provided this job at ACE asphalt for me so that I can give my body rest, so I can save money for missions, a house, and maybe even a family. None of these are possible at PW. It will be hard to tell my boss, but I'm sure he will understand. Many of the others won't. I hope they do. I know for certain that Wayne (owner) will. He's a Christian and will understand that the end goal justifies the means. He knows that missions and the aggressive advancement of God's kingdom is my heart and that I'll do what needs to be done in order to see those things accomplished.

Lord give me wisdom as I talk with Bobby and Wayne. Help them all to understand. I pray that You'll provide them with some more good employees who'll learn quickly and work hard so that the stress of the busy season won't be so great. Please put Your words in my mouth as I turn in my 2 weeks. I know it will be hard for me to say and them to hear, but please be in our midst and give them understanding. Help me be a blessing to ACE and to work hard as unto You. Help me to learn quickly, and never tire from doing what seems so foreign to me as I spend 40 hrs. a week behind a computer. May Your hand guide and direct me, Your mouth speak through me, and Your Spirit be with me. Lord bless Your servant as I walk out my life in humble obediance the best I knows how. Teach me Your word that I may obey, give me an undivided heart that I may love and serve only You. Let me see through Your eyes, though I should never see again. Let me hear through Your ears though I should spend my days deaf. Let my hands heal the broken, weary, and sick, though they should never function right again. Let me feel Your presence though I should never feel again. Lord let me continually live in Your Spirit, though I should never live again. Kill me.

2005-04-07T21:02:00.000-07:00

See, Justin likes the crack too

2005-04-07T21:01:00.000-07:00

Something you won't see very often, me digging into some serious crack.

2005-04-07T20:59:00.000-07:00

Me digging for crack

2005-04-07T20:57:00.000-07:00

Me digging for chalk

2005-04-07T20:56:00.001-07:00

Sean going for the big jump

2005-04-07T20:56:00.000-07:00

Rock climbing pics of Shawn going for the big jump up, Dustin looking for his next move and me digging for chalk

2005-04-05T22:11:00.000-07:00

Me climbing a 5.10A

2005-03-19T09:54:00.000-07:00

Wonder if he'd want his feeding tube removed?

Prayers Answered

2005-03-16T17:18:00.000-07:00

The Joy of the LORD is my strength. When I am doing the work of the kingdom, I am living as I was meant to live. Life flows through my veins, my heart beats again, I breathe as though I had never breathed before, my mouth is not my own but a well spring of living water for the nations.

In my previous post I had asked God to give me opportunities at work and to make me more like him. I am humbled by how quickly He has opened my eyes, given me patience, love, and strength. Opportunities that were either not there before or merely unnoticed are now there in abundance. I've been blessed by God to tell people about Jesus and how He has changed me.

I was working with some mexican friends and they said that 5 yrs. from now I would see them walking and think "Pinche Mexicano". I told them that this would not be possible for me. He replied with "people change". I agreed, but then went on to tell him as we worked how when Jesus lives in you, and you realize who you are and who He is and what He has done for you and the world, that it is almost impossible to look at someone that way again. To say or think that would mean that I would be saying that about the very person who's image they are created in. That God should overlook them because they're not worthy but I somehow am. This thinking reeks of pride and will quickly lead to a severe humbling.

I've been giving my food and tools out freely not getting upset when people take things, realizing that God has blessed me soo much and that I am merely to be a channel through which He blesses other people. He has given me the life I have so that I may take this life and bless the nations. God is fulfilling the Abrahamic covenant through me this very moment. Guys I used to have little patience for, I'm now going out of my way to help. God is refining me.

God, I beg of You not to stop. Let me be as the woman who spent her life savings anointing your head with the perfume in the alabaster container. I know that as I treat others I treat You, let my life be the perfume that is poured out on those loved ones you died for who so desperately need the joy and hope that comes from knowing You. You were the great alabaster container and you broke yourself open to pour yourself out on the world so that as you died we would not have to. You've called me to love as You did, and to live as You did. To run the great race doing what You have planned for me. Give me the strength to continually say yes to You. Give me the grace to make it through the hardest time, I know the cost of following You. So break this clay jar open that the nations may come to know You.

Blessings

2005-03-02T20:33:00.000-07:00

I've been really short on time with VLI and other ministry related things taking it all up. Been a while since I've blogged. Work has been really tough the past couple of months. I've been extremely critical of myself, my work, efficiency of my work, and how my review is going to go. Anxiety was crushing me in its iron fist. I brought it up at home group last week (which is going well) and everybody prayed for me regarding those things. The week following I spent a lot of time thinking and praying while at work. I eventually came to the conclusion that my future was in God's hands and that His view of my life is from an end time perspective. He sees the end first then the beginning. I reasoned then that whether things go good or bad in my eyes and the eyes of this world, that it didn't matter. He would accomplish through me the plans that He made for me (Eph. 2:10) regardless of what happened at work and would likely use my work situation as a way to show me where I am to be. I once again feel the joy of the Lord, and find myself singing His praises all day long in the midst of blaring secular radio and loud machinery. My boss told me during the review that he wanted me to give him a couple year's notice before I went on my "mission" (he's mormon). As I walked out, it struck me that I was on my mission. I wish that it would have struck me sooner. Would have thrown him for a loop.

Lord thank you for placing me where you have. You've blessed me with a fine job, good employers, and good pay. You've given me favor unending and undeserved. Change my heart so that I can be a better reflection of you to the guys I work around. Give me moments where I can quickly plant and or water seeds in their lives without neglecting my work. Open the eyes and ears of my co-workers and soften their hearts to hear your words. Heal the many injuries that have occurred to the guys there. Also be with the Pinner family as Obie's dad is in the hospital. May any injuries he sustains be minimal and heal quickly.

LUKE IS HOME!!!

2005-02-11T17:51:00.000-07:00

My bro is home, WooHoo!!!! This kicks all kinds of things. I am Super Stoked. Also got my AR10 seriously tricked out. It is looking sweet, I just hope I can do with it what I want, cost me enough.

More will come, going to my folks house to crush Luke with a hug.

p.s. Enjoy life and time with family, you'll never know how much you'll miss it when it's gone.

Picture of Jesus

2005-01-20T19:32:00.000-07:00

I was watching the Phantom of the Opera Sunday for the second time. The entire movie was excellent but I had a few favorite scenes, only one of which I'll share.

For those of you who've seen the play, movie or read the book, then this will not spoil a thing for you, but for those of you who have done none of the above, go watch the movie, then read this. Anyway, towards the end of the movie the Phantom has Roul tied up to a giant gate and gives Christine 2 choices. Either she chooses him and her love (Roul) lives, or she doesn't and Roul dies. Lose lose situation right? You would think so, but something incredible happens. She sees him for who he is and has pity on him. She sings "God has given me the strength to show you that you are not alone". She then walks up to him embraces him with her hand on the disfigured side of his face and kisses him. Now to understand the enormity of that statement and action, I must share the with you who the Phantom is. He grew up in a freak show being beaten, being shown no mercy, grace or compassion. He got the chance after a show and choked his tormentor to death. A dance student saw this and felt sorry so she hid him in the opera house where he grew up and became a great musician, vocalist, writer, etc.... So now we know that he's a product of society, and though he could have made different choices, it's a bit easier for us to relate to him.

So how is this a picture of Jesus? The way I saw it was that the Phantom represented the world. We were born into disfiguration, and our lives have been a product of our social surroundings. To hide our hurt and pain we put a mask on so that everyone else will not see the truth. However Christ (Christine) pulls that mask off and exposes us for who/what we are, not to condemn us, but to show us compassion and love. When Christine embraces the Phantom, I see Christ leaving glory in Heaven, and choosing to die for us. Christine chose to stand beside the Phantom so that he would know love for once in his life. She did not know that he would fall apart and send the two of them away. Christ chose to take our sins and die a horrible death on the cross, suffering the worst pain He could suffer, which is when the Father turned His face from Him. The Phantom's reaction to Christine's love and compassion is much like anyone's reaction when they first come to know the love of Jesus and the mercy and grace that He has for us. We see ourselves in the light of grace and fall apart at the seams knowing how wretched and undeserving we are of such compassion.

Go see the movie. See if you see what I saw.

Goodness and Mercy

2005-01-05T18:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was not looking good sometime around 5:30 pm. As I was driving Jared over to where I live for a sort of small group gathering something in my truck started making a lot of noise. I feared the worst, a bent rod, bent valve, or an extremely worn valve guide that just wasn't happy anymore. Due to this unfortunate turn of events I was late to work this morning because my dad had to give me a ride. I also had to get picked up. I talked to a few people at work and one fella who's been around awhile suggested that I take a dowl rod or screw driver up to the valve cover to see if I can hear and pinpoint where the noise is coming from. I fired it up at home and my dad listened to it. I knew it was something on the exhaust side of the engine, but wasn't sure if it was internal or not cause it sounded like valve rattle. Turns out that it's actually in the exhaust itself. Could be a chunk of honeycomb material from the cat rattling around, or it could be a piece of carbon that broke free of an exhaust valve and can't get past the cat. Who knows?

So what does this have to do with goodness and mercy? Throughout the day I pray, and this was one of the things I've been lifting up continuously today. I've prayed with various people on it too. The Lord has answered my prayers. I asked that this would be something relatively minor and a quick and easy fix, and I'm almost positive that this will be a quicker and cheaper than the alternative. If it's a cat, then those get a bit pricey, but the labor is in my hands, not some machine shops. The Lord showed mercy on me and was good to me. Maybe I'm giving the Lord credit for something He didn't have His hands in? Possibly, but all good and perfect things come from Him, and this is certainly good, relative to what it could have been. I can still drive my truck, even though it'll be a bit noisy. I praise the Lord for the blessings He's lavished upon me.

Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life.

Life and Death

2005-01-02T20:27:00.000-07:00

I was reading a Dec. 2nd post from Robert Howard (http://www.roberthoward.blogspot.com/) and a certain part of it really impacted me.

The part that said "and leave this trailer park of a planet " described in a sort of sense what I've wanted for a long time. For a long time I've looked and even now look at death as a long lost friend waiting for his embrace, knowing that by returning from whence I came, I will finally be reunited with the one I love. I will be able to sit for eternity in the lap of my Father with my head upon His chest as it rises and falls. Hearing His heart beat with love that covers all sin. For a long time I've wished I could take upon myself the hurts and pains of the people I love. Take Jordan's disease and give him my health and strong body and mind, Cela's arthritis for my much improved joints, Kathy's kidney stone plagued kidney's for my healthy one's, and take them with my seizures, messed up foot and other little problems straight to the grave where there will be no pain or misery or 2nd death. Where my friends can enjoy atleast in part the healthy lives that God originally intended for them to have, but sin has kept them from having. And it would allow me to finally enjoy the one life I long to live. The one at the feet of my Father. I've seen nothing this life has to offer me and would be willing to give up any future I may have freely for even one day with my Father. For one day with Him is an eternity on earth.

And I wonder if I'm living as Paul did, longing to die, knowing though that it would be better for others that I live. Knowing that God's plan for my life has not been fulfilled and that my life is meant to be an offering of love for people who know Him not, for people who would gladly crucify Him again, who would drag His people beaten through the streets only to be left for dead in the fields. Knowing still that I was one of those people and it was His love that cut my heart open and made the heart of a killer into the heart a servant. So I shall serve the rest of my days whether long or short, laying down my life at the cross with the hope that as the world walks over me they may step straight into the arms of endless love, mercy, and grace knowing the love that would cause a mortal man long for death so that he could spend eternity in the presence of his only love, Jesus.

As tears roll down my face, I wonder where they come from. Are they because I'm pouring my heart out or because I'm not living daily the life I described. More than likely a mix of both.

Take My Life
Take my life and let it be
Consecrated, Lord, to Thee
Take my moments and my days
Let them flow in ceaseless praise
Take my hands and let them move
At the impulse of Thy love
Take my feet and let them be
Swift and beautiful for Thee
Take my voice and let me sing
Always, only, for my King
Take my lips and let them be
Filled with messages from Thee
Take my silver and my gold
Not a mite would I withhold
Take my intellect and use
Ev'ry power as You choose
Here am I, all of me
Take my life, its all for Thee
Take my will and make it Thine
It shall be no longer mine
Take my heart, it is Thine own
It shall be Thy royal throne
Take my love, my Lord, I pour
At Your feet its treasure store
Take myself and I will be
Ever, only, all for Thee

Busy Month and a Gift of Life

2004-12-30T20:28:00.000-07:00

Man has it been a busy month. I've had the month off of school, but yet I've managed to cram all that open time with moving, more work, school related stuff, lots of stuff at church, holidays, and I know that's only the things off of the top of my head.

I've had very little to no access to a computer since my parents moved, and now I finally do! Yeah!!! So I've moved in with my good friends Paul and Erin Beaulieu (http://www.paulbeaulieu.blogspot.com/, http://www.reflectionsofalady.blogspot.com/) and they have graciously given up their office so I could be on this side of town. I'm near my parents who are now on Greenfield and Ray, my brother and sister on Gilbert and Brown, my church on Cooper and Warner, and finally my work on Gilbert and Main. A good friend of mine will soon be moving this way as well. I hope it's a trend that all my friends follow, cause I feel like I'm a long way away from a number of them.

I've decided not to be a stick in the mud and point out how I was so disappointed with how lax or shall I say syncretistic everyone has gotten with Christmas this year. I'll save that for one of my latter blogs. Instead I've decided to blog on how great my holiday or shall I say Holyday was this year. I expected nothing for Christmas this year. I was just glad I would be able to spend it with the people I love most, my family. I didn't want anything for Christmas. Christmas wasn't about wanting anymore, but about sharing. Very similar to Passover, I gathered together with those I loved and shared a meal together remembering how Jesus gave up everything to come and give the greatest gift of all, His life. I was surprised when the Beaulieu's awakened me in the morning and gave me a gift. Especially since it wasn't a cheap gift and was one that I know Paul would have bought for himself. Even more to my surprise was that Erin's parents bought me a gift and gave it to me as we were eating breakfast. I was beside myself. Later that day my friend Tim Allen came over and we headed to my parents house to eat. Tim's a good friend that I've met through the Grace Community college group. Since he couldn't afford to go home for Christmas, we invited him and were blessed to have him spend it with us. We ate great food, a meal that only kings, queens, and other nobility would have been able to eat centuries ago. I was kinda surprised that my parents got me anything for Christmas. I knew they were probably tight on money and our extended family usually draws names anyway. Figured that I would probably get something from my aunt Cindi's husband Sid and that would be it. I got three gifts from my parents. I couldn't believe it. I wanted to bless them so I got them a little something, but I had the money to spare. We sang songs of praise and worship to God while my brother and I played guitar and Tim played the djembe. That was a good time. We followed that up with a so so movie.

All in all a great day. I just wish Luke and Chris could have been there to share it with us. That would have been the one and only thing I would have wanted. But I knew it wasn't about me, God has His own agenda to keep. Luke really got to bless a couple of his fellow EMT's by taking their Christmas shifts so they could spend the day with their families. Talk about a Christmas present that has the very spirit of Christ. It cost him his holyday, and it cost his coworkers nothing. It was a paid day off. As I thought about the gifts I had received I came to the conclusion that despite the utter loss of meaning or incorporation of a pagan ritual into a Christian Holyday, there was still something significant about these gifts. They were a representation of a gift I didn't deserve, couldn't earn, and could never repay. They represented the gift Christ gave to me when He was born, lived, and died for my sins over 2000 years ago. These gifts cost the givers something very important, time. How so? The gifts cost money, and to get money you have to work which takes up the one thing you can never get back and have a limited amount of, time. Andre, the Beaulieu's, my aunt Cindi's and her husband Sid, my aunt Kathy, and my parents all gave me a part of their lives through those gifts they gave. I realize that the significance of the gifts doesn't matter, only that they were given freely to someone who didn't deserve them, didn't earn them, and didn't give anything in return.

John 15:13 Greater love has no man than he that would lay down his life for his friends.
Matthew 25:35-36,40 For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you game something to drink. I was a stranger, and you took me in. Naked, and you clothed me. I was sick, and you visited me. I was in prison, and you came to me...... Inasmuch as you have done it unto one of the least of these my brothers, you have done it unto me.

Two great things come from these verses. First is that the above laid down a portion of their lives for me, though I am the least deserving, they did it anyway. They did what Jesus did. They have taken me in, called me friend, brother, or son. They have fed me and given me drink. Have clothed me, taken care of me and prayed for me when sick, and I've not been imprisoned physically, but I know they'ld be there. Secondly is that they have unknowingly served God and provided for His needs by aiding me. They are storing up treasures in heaven.

It is incredible that someone so undeserving, unmerciful, unfaithful, selfish, and unwise could be shown such grace. I've been given the gift of eternal life through the blood of Christ Jesus, and each of those gifts is a sort of communion or remembrance of that costly gracious gift He gave. I will never look at another gift the same way again.

Boxes and Tape

2004-11-16T19:39:00.000-07:00

You are the boxes, I am the Tape; apart from Me, you can hold nothing.

I've been dealing with boxes today. At work I was carrying around a box that had some steel pipe in it that I was working on. I was under the impression that the bottom was taped together, however it was not. The four flaps were only interlocked so as to provided a false sense of security, I thought the box would carry almost anything and stay together, however the bottom dropped out from it. I was let down by the box as I found out it was not taped. I cast it to the ground in anger as my parts spread all across the shop floor.

Sometimes we as people are like boxes. We have boxes in our lives that give us a false sense of stability or security and these boxes help us to carry on, but only lead us to be dissappointed when these boxes eventually burst open from the bottom spilling the contents of our lives out. We feel let down, violated, and even more insecure then when we started off. So we cast our box or boxes to the ground in anger, go find another box that is bigger/newer/more dependable, gather up the contents of our lives, put them into the new box and go on only to find that this box shares the same weakness as every other box. It isn't Taped at the bottom. Whether the box is ourselves, someone else, a job, or something else is irrelevant.

When I put the box back together by interlocking the 4 flaps I went and found some Tape and made the box stay together. I returned the parts to the box and it held just fine.

Boxes are important, and adding a little extra strength to them by interlocking the flaps is a wise course of action as long as you are not trusting on the interlocking of the flaps to save you. The Tape is what holds your box together and keeps the contents inside and will give you a true sense of security. We are even more like boxes when you think of how dirty boxes can get. They get covered in oil, dirt, water and all the other stuff in this world that would cause the Tape to stick very poorly. Fortunately when we seek after the Tape, and realize our need for the Tape, the Tape gives us a new box, it's clean made of plastic so that when it does get dirty the dirt won't stick or ruin the box.

I may be trying to run this analogy of our relationship to Christ a bit too far, but the truth is still there. Without full dependance on Christ we will be continually let down.

Now here I am, wishing I had some packing tape for the boxes that I need to put stuff in so my parents don't have to worry about my stuff.

Thanks for being my Tape Jesus. Without You I'd fall apart at the seams. You hold me together, have given me new life, a new name and taken me as Your own. I'll praise Your name forever. I love You!

Syncretism part 2

2004-11-06T11:31:00.000-07:00

I've been wrestling with this idea of syncretism for some time now, and how far does this go and to what extent are our lives defineded by this style of living.

Perharps one of my greatest quandries is this. How do we remain culturally relevant without becoming apostate in how we carry out our beliefs. In ministry one wants to be culturally relevant to reach out to the unreached. The problem this presents is that in order to separate people from their paganistic beliefs we often dismiss anything they may use in their cult practices as evil soley because it is used in the worship of other "god's". For example: In the native american tradition they use many drums and chants and other things that are of great tribal importance to them. Unfortunately they use this stuff to pray and call upon other spirits. Now earlier in missionary outreach, the "great white savior's" insisted that these things and practices get completely abandoned because they were used in spirit worship and idolotry. Our thinking has greatly changed in the past 10 yrs. as God has shown us that Misuse does not negate Proper Use. This is key, because earlier we would have said that native american Chistians who still used these things and chanted were syncretistic and were sinning. We see now that this is why native americans were so put off by early attempts to reach out to them. Now they have been taught that these drums, and other culturally important items/practices were simply misused, and that to use them properly in worship to Yaweh is okay.

So this opens up a huge can of worms. We see that God has begun to move amongst the native americans and other people groups suggesting that these idea's about cultural relevance are correct and working well, none the less not negating the fact that we should be noticeably set apart. A nation of priests as it were.

We know in the old testament that the Israelites were not to eat meat sacrificed to idol's, but yet we also know that there are no such things as other god's. All they are is stone, wood, metal, etc.. Our God is bigger than these things, which is why Paul says it is okay to eat of such things, unless a brother who is weaker in spirit and who may stumble because of your freedom witnesses you eating of these things. Still when in Ephesus, Paul never slept with temple prostitutes, sacrificed to idols or took part in these things so that he could remain culturally relevant in order to share the gospel (despite his when in Rome speech). He did quite the opposite. He said that all of these things were meaningless and worthless. He preached Jesus Christ and Him crucified, and ministered in the power of the spirit.

So then, what shall we say? Pine trees, giving of gifts, egg hunts, bunny rabbits, throwing of flowers and garter, dressing up in costumes as weird stuff, and other culturally relevant things. Do we do these so we can be relevant? Are they simply being misused and we need to learn how to use them properly and show the world how to? Or do we need to do what Paul did and cut these things out of our lives and do the opposite.

One of the reasons I love kid's church and teaching with Paul B. is that when these holiday celebrations come upon us we buckle down and teach the kids the history behind these holidays and why they were originally so important. We do not give out bunny rabbit candies at Easter or decorate eggs (both of which are symbols of fertility), or scary stuff around halloween, or santa stuff around Christmas, but emphasize in a world were these things have been forgotton (just like Israel) the importance of such celebrations and why we still celebrate them. Otherwise we risk apostacy and where we celebrate these things with our mouths but our hearts are far from Him. They are on gifts, candy, fun, games, and most importantly ourselves. The Israelites suffered terribly from this and the consequences were tremendous.

So there is a definite tension between cultural relevance and syncretism. Where the fine line is I do not know. I think we as Christians have crossed that line in many places, but haven't in others. Some good questions to ask about a practice or celebration would be, will this give glory to God? Am I opening up opportunities to witness and influence the lives of unbelievers? Why am I doing this? Is it because of tradition, or is there something more?

Lord reveal your heart to me regarding these things. Help me walk out this line between syncretism and cultural relevance. Let everything I do give glory and honor to you and let your kingdom come and be advanced in my life. I trust that as long as you are leading me, I will not fall in to apostacy or syncretism. So lead me and guide me. Teach me your ways.

Syncretism

2004-11-02T19:30:00.000-07:00

Syncretism by definition is the reconciliation or fusion of differing systems of belief ex. Religion.

Flashback to the time of Moses. He was an old man now and already knew that he would not go into the promise land with God's people because of his disobedience when he struck the rock. He soon dies and God raises up Joshua as Moses' successor. He shows the people that He is with Joshua just as He was with Moses. We see in Judges 1:27-36 that Israel did not complete the conquering of the land of Canaan. They instead put some of the people to forced labor or allowed them to live in the land. After Joshua died we see in Judges 2 that they did evil in the sight of the Lord by worshipping Baals. As Israel ages and goes through ups and downs we see the mixing of cult practices. Cult practices meaning any religious practices a belief system has (not to be confused with occult). When God made the covenant with Israel at Mt. Sinai He forbade them from doing certain things. In return He would be their God and they would be His people. He would lead, provide, and protect them and doing anything else needed. All He required was obedience. As we see, Israel began to disobey and break their part of God's covenant with them. They first didn't destroy all the people in Canaan and all their idol's/god's. This eventually led to the cohabitation (unequally yoked???) of God's people and pagan's. They lived, worked, and played amongst each other. Israel eventually begins to ignore God and worship foreign god's or baal's. Over time we see the development of a syncrotistic society. They worship God with their mouths, and even the required offerings, but their hearts were far from Him. They would oppress the poor and the foriegners, they committed open adultery amongst themselves, and even had homosexual relationships throughout their history. What does God do? He pulls His favor from them. He quits guiding them, no longer provides for them, and allows their enemies, the very ones they were supposed to have destroyed when they first entered the land, to oppress them and then others would eventually conquer them. They broke the covenant that God had made with them and they suffered the curses that came as a result of this violation.

Fast forward to the present. Syncretism, how does it apply to us? We can look at many things in our lives that we celebrate or are just common practices that have roots in pagan practices. Bear with me while I list a few examples. If you take for example Christmas. It falls around the same time as the winter solstice which in the N. Hemisphere occurs on Dec. 21. Many early peoples would celebrate the death of the falling son and the birth of the rising son. For a pretty good history on the winter solstice go here: http://www.religioustolerance.org/winter_solstice.htm. You'll find that many of the things Christians do in celebration of Christmas are well rooted in other pagan traditions that were blended together by emperor Aurelian around 270-275 A.D. The giving of gifts, decorating pine trees, holly, and a whole slew of others that are found on the link above. Paul B. Made a good point that I was disenchanted to agree with, but now have had a change of heart. Check it out. It's titled "Purity in Wedding Practices" and can be found at:http://www.paulbeaulieu.blogspot.com/. We celebrate many other holidays and do many other practices that have roots in pagan traditions, and if anybody takes the time to search this out I think they will come to a similar conclusion.

So, what to do. I'm not suggesting that we abolish celebrations or weddings, birthdays, gift giving and the like, but that we do them in the proper context and we weed out the things that are rooted in the world. Is that extreme? Yes. Do we serve an extreme God? Yes. Is He faithful and just to forgive? Yes, but as Paul said that doesn't mean that we should continue sinning so that His grace may abound. I know that right away people will begin to think that my view is legalistic. I encourage you not to make a judgment call on what I write, but check out the links above, search out the history on some of the things we as Christians do, and find out what the Bible has to say about such things. I'm all for offering alternatives to worldly practices, as long as they do not conflict with scripture and are not rooted in worldly practices that traditionally have connection with the worship or glorification of things or people other than Jesus. Celebrating the birth of Christ, His death and resurrection, and other things are fine. The thing that I believe that is important is that we abstain from mixing in things that are of the world and have paganistic roots. The giving of gifts is a wonderful thing, but not when it is generally done around certain times of year and because that is the "thing" to do. There should be no time of year for this gesture, but should be done out of love for each other and as an expression of the love that Jesus has shown us. Whether material or immaterial is irrelevant.

The devil's advocate in me argues that all these things are an issue of the heart and even though they have paganistic roots, they are innocent in nature. None the less God forbade the Israelites from practicing or even wearing things that the pagans used in their cult practices. Por ejemplo: The mixing of two types of cloth in the old testament. This does not apply to us today, but in that time pagan cultures would mix two types of cloth together to symbolize the mating of the god's and the mating of the god's was supposed to bring agricultural abundance and blessing. This is why it was forbidden. There are no existing cultures that do this today as far as we know so it's not something that would apply to God's people (us). However there are things that we could apply that same logic to.

I find it interesting that ancient cultures had meaning behind most of the things they did. Even their names were important. In today's "civilized" western culture we have lost meaning in most of the things we do. Names are simply a tag that someone wears until they die, rather than an extention of who they are. Many if not most of the things we do during celebrations are simply traditions that we carry on. Why? Why not, I did it as a kid, it was kinda fun, don't want my kids to miss out. Maybe it's time to stop and think about why we do certain things and the meaning behind them. To take some time and search out the history behind our practices to find out if they are truly innocent and if we should indeed just go with the flow and never rock the boat.

Lord, give me wisdom, and understanding regarding the issue of syncretism and how and where it is rooted in my life. You are a jealous God who wants all of me, not just part of me. I don't want to withhold any part of my life from You. Search my heart and reveal the areas in my life that I've merely taken as harmless tradition and help me to change them. If I am reading into things to much and the enemy is trying to pull me away from you by binding me in legalism, then rebuke these things and set me straight. However, if this is indeed You telling me it's time to return completely to You and to reject anything that has roots in the cult practices of other religions or worldly traditions, than continue to reveal more truth to me. Lord I love You and only You. I seek Your will on these things, let Your kingdom come here on earth as it is in heaven, and let Your will be done.

Time

2004-10-29T17:26:00.000-07:00

Time - the thing we need when there's alot to do, but have none of. The thing we have lots of when there's nothing to do. The thing we can never seem to get a hold of no matter how hard we try.

So I'm sure some of you are thinking, what is with this guy? He doesn't blog for a while, then belts out 2 books in one night then doesn't do anything for nearly 2 weeks. I'm telling you it's all about time and how little of it I seem to have. VLI has been going great. We finished up an intensive last weekend that was about 12 hrs. Absolutely insane! Information overload. I'm running on very few hours of very uncomfortable sleep and have now moved from a futon to the floor due to the back pain I would wake up with. Combine that with 9-10 hr. days, constantly trying to pass emissions, attempting to remember what I need to do for kids church, college group, and trying to do some studying for VLI and you wind up with a burned out, runny nose guy who is not feeling very good. I have been having constant headaches for the past 2 weeks I'd say. Advil has nearly become part of my diet it seems.

Well I'm sure I could think of more depressing stuff, but my head already hurts. Good stuff, hmm let's see..... Red Sox won the World Series? nah don't care too much about that, let's see. Oh, Micah and Chrissy had a baby boy. Joshua Daniel Killough. 9 lbs. and 33 hrs. of delivery. When I saw him I was speechless. Absolutely the coolest thing I've ever seen. I was praying so much that Chrissy and the baby would be okay. When I left the house I was singing my own song heading west on the 202 praising God. What an incredible experience it is to hold your own flesh and blood. My brother's son. Wow!! There are no words on earth to describe how I felt. All I could do was shout, and that's what I did while driving home. I hooted and hollered like a crazy man. Going to take some getting used to, but I thrilled.

Lord, thank You for the blessing of Micah, Chrissy and Joshua. Thank You for bringing her and the baby safely through the delivery. Please heal her and give her all the rest she needs. Let her recovery be speedy so she can get back on her feet. Bless them as they have blessed us and help them in raising their son.

Leaders

2004-10-14T21:28:00.000-07:00

This current election has had me do some thinking. I saw a trailer to a film titled Celcius 41.11 (http://www.citizensunited-interactive.org/C41.11/) that had a clip of someone holding a sign that said something to the sort of: Say no to war in Iraq! Then in smaller print it said: Unless a democrat is President. So what does that tell you about the left side? I also saw a leftist bumper sticker on a car that said "Know Peace, No Bush". The homosexual on who's car the sticker was on didn't have a clue. You can't have peace without war. The two coexist in tension with each other. The fallen nature of man kind has made it so that there are people out there who are power hungry megalomaniacs and will stop at nothing to gain what they want. This often means war. This brings me the to the title of my blog, Leaders. They are made not born and great leaders were not typically made during times of peace, nor did they always bring peace. The greatest example of course is Jesus. He specifically said in Mat.10:34 "Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword." He turned over the money changers tables in the temple and rebuked the leaders of religious law with a fury never before seen amongst men. Israel was captive to the Romans, but Jesus didn't come to lead them out of physicall captivity, but spiritual.

Arguably on of the greatest King who ever lived, and certainly the greatest Hebrew King was King David. He never knew peace during his reign. He was always at war. Nations gathered against him, and he cried out to God, and God delivered them. He wasn't great though because he was a mighty conquerer, it was because he was a man after God's own heart.

Another great example of a great leader is Winston Churchill. He rose up, gathered Britain around him and defied the Axis powers. At the same time during the same war would be President Theodore Roosevelt who led the U.S.A. through WWII and helped the Allies defeat the wicked Nazis and their Japanese compatriots.

In the examples mentioned above save Jesus, all of their successors enjoyed times of peace. Solomon built the temple and many other things as well as a large female household. Britain and the U.S.A. rebuilt and helped Europe rebuild. Now President Bush was forced to be in the position he's in. He didn't ask for 9/11 to happen, it just did. He didn't runaway from it and pretend it didn't happen. He didn't get to inwardly focused. He grabbed the reigns and handled the situation with great poise and command. He gave the terrorists and the countries who hide them a chance to surrender, and if they didn't he promised that they would face war of a level that they have never before known. What happened? He fulfilled his promise. War is never easy, but it is a necessity when nations rise against nations or hide those who would intend to harm a nation. President Bush stopped the senseless slaughter of millions more people by ousting Saddam from power. Control is now being slowly restored to the Iraqi people. Kerry has done nothing to support the war. He has said that he would pull out which means that our Iraqi friends would be faced to rebuild alone and would eventually the country would erupt into civil war. We would then find Islamic radicals even worse than Saddam in power and doing everything in their power to destroy America. Great leaders are made not born. They handle situations with poise, and control. They stand up for what is right and will not let other nations decide their future for them. They avoid war if possible, but will not be used as the worlds floor mat. George W. Bush in my opinion has done a great job in some areas and could do better in others, but the one thing that shines like a lighthouse on a foggy night, is his character and his unwillingness to waver on what he believes is right just because pop culture says other wise. Kerry has none of the above qualities, he's a user, an abuser, would sell his own wife if it would get him the White House. He is dishonest, unloyal, unpatriotic, and above all things he does not love justice and mercy. His character reeks of the things of the world instead of the things of God. His wisdom is that of the world, whereas Bush seeks the Lord and reads the Bible searching for wisdom. May God Bless President Bush and grant our country the benefit of being led by him for another 4 yrs.

8 Hour days???

2004-10-14T20:49:00.000-07:00

So, this week has been quite long, but on the same token, rather enjoyable, sort of.

Things I haven't enjoyed: failing emittions testing again. I finally broke down and took my Scout into the shop. I found out that the gov. raised the emittions standards this year so all of the things that I have done to pass in the past wouldn't work. I reduced the jet size on my primaries, advanced the timing, leaned the fuel mixture out and ran octane boost with high octane gas through the engine. Nothing worked. Aargh!!! It's been almost a week now and my truck still isn't back. At work I got moved to a new area because one of our welders quit and they needed to move another welder into his area to pick up the slack. Well they put me in the area that was vacated and I seemed to inherit a crappy welding machine. I wasn't too happy. I think I was more concerned that because I moved into this vacated spot that I would assume the duties of the previous tenant. He welded stock items all day long and did boring stuff. I on the other hand get some cool custom projects, the owners and bosses are always having me do custom or prototype work for new products and various personal stuff. I really enjoy this type of work because it's not monotonous. Yesterday I was trying to dial in this welder and had it set when my floor manager came up to me and told me to just use the newer machine I was using before. I expressed my confusion to him because he early stated that welding machines needed to stay put and I was going to use the one in the area that I'm moving to, but I guess he changed his mind. Now one of the less experienced guys are using it which kind of makes me feel bad cause I was starting to get used to it. The guy using it now doesn't seem to mind or have any problems with it so more power to him I guess.

Good things: VLI is going well and I just finished preparing a sermonette for next tues. mentoring class. I'm using John 15:13 as the foundational scripture on which I build the rest of the sermon around. Hopefully it'll go well. At work we got a break from 10 hr. days on tuesday and were told that we'd be on 8 hr. days until further notice. This means an extra hour of sleep and I get off an hour earlier. For some reason though I haven't left work any earlier than I would if I were working 10's though. I've been working on a grinding rail for the Gilbert Vineyard Drop in Center http://gilbertdropin.blogspot.com/2004_10_01_gilbertdropin_archive.html. I finished the structural aspects of it today. The rail is finished and ground up and the stands are finished as well. I still may grind down the edges to try and make a semi smooth transition so that in the event that someone does hit them with their board, that they will have a better chance of not biting it. I suppose things are going well, but I guess I'll see how the rest of the week turns out.

Lord be with me and help my attitude at work to improve regardless of my situation or what I am doing. Help me be a light to the world in which I work, and help me to be raging fire. Not an ember struggling to survive. Give me grace and mercy for the things that I do throught the week that are not reflective of who You are and look more like the things of the world. Forgive me when I sin and help me to walk in the paths of rightouesness. I thank you for and praise you for keeping me free from the lusts of my flesh. May I continue to surrender that to You and walk in obediance to Your will so that my flesh will continue to die. Guide me, direct me, and let me know Your thoughts and Your ways. Give me more dreams and show me visions. Then let me know the meanings behind them. I bless You and lift You up. I love You and only You. May my heart be Yours and only Yours.

Davidic covenant

2004-10-05T21:10:00.000-07:00

Ok, so there is no Davidic covenant. Atleast not to this David. None the less I like to think that a vision my mom had some time ago is sort of a promise of things to come. The vision was simple yet intriguing, she saw me with my wife and kids. Never saw who my wife was, only the back of her head. Interesting.

As I get older I the thought of marriage runs through my mind more often, probably because nearly all of my friends are either married or soon to be. I'm one of very few hold outs. Never had a girlfriend (by choice) and avoided the whole dating thing like the plague. However in light of this vision I see hope. Sometimes I get a little over zealous and I take a simple kind gesture or friendly chat with a attractive young lady and read more into it than there is. I kind of see myself relating to Abraham in this sense. God promised him a son. He didn't say when, just that he would have one and would be the father of many nations. Now Abraham believed God, but was under the impression that God would give them a child under natural circumstances. They would have a son within child bearing age. As Abraham and Sarah aged, they decided that God must have meant that they would have a child through a maidservant and raise it as their own. So Sarah gave Hagar to Abraham and she gave birth to a baby boy. It is important to take note that this was a practice that was completely acceptable during that time. Families stayed together most of their lives so it was important to have a male descendant to pass on the inheritance to. If a male child could not be conceived, a back up plan was to use a maidservant. This was the wisdom of the world. God would not have any of that. He told Abraham that Hagar's son was not the one who the promise would carry through. Instead God waited until it was physically impossible for them to have children and then He supernaturally intervened and gave them a son who's name was Isaac.

Now the question is, what is this leading up to? Well, the wisdom of the world would suggest that I seek out this future woman that God has for me. That I should date or go with friends with the intent of trying to "hook up", but God doesn't use the wisdom of this world. He doesn't do things the natural way, for He Himself is not natural, but supernatural. He will use natural things to bring about a supernatural experience, but that is tangent in which I may explore later. In Abraham's case they tried things the culturally relevant way and ended up have a serious effect on the course of history. Hagar's son would also become the father of many great princes which in modern times would be the anti Semitic Arabic nations surrounding Israel. If this is what happens when we try to fulfill God's promises by human means, then I want none of it. I don't know when God will show me this person, but I trust that His timing is perfect. It's still hard to wait especially when there are so many great women of God out there, but every time I see them I take heart in the knowledge that if they are great, but not for me, how much greater will the one that God has for me be. Someone once said, the enemy of best is good. Never settle for 2nd best when you can have the very best.

Lord I trust in You and You alone. Your timing is the right timing and Your ways are higher then mine and the ways of this world. Even though I do not fully understand why You do things the way You do, I take heart in knowing that everything that I go through is something that You will use to mold me and form me into who You want me to be. You said through Paul that everything works out for the good of those who love You through Christ Jesus. I believe that, and am waiting on You. Help me not to look around me and become discontent with where I am in life and where You have me, but to be glad in all circumstances and to recognize the reasons why I am where I am. Speak to me and reveal Your heart in me.

The Hunger

2004-09-24T20:45:00.000-07:00

Hunger, sometimes good, sometimes bad. Appetites for somethings can be good, but then there are appetites that are destructive and lead to death. I've been reading Genesis lately because it's the first of the five books of the Pentateuch. We have to read through the Pentateuch for VLI this quarter as well as various books. I've been digging into the Word like mad. Thursday I went over to Andre's and we worshipped and read and discussed various things in Genesis ch. 1-9. It was incredible! We dug into the passages, asked questions of each other, and really enjoyed studying the Bible. God has given me an appetite for studying and trying to understand the Bible. The Lord has developed a Hunger in me for the things of His Kingdom. I'm hungry, and only You can fill the Hunger. I cannot be full. Your Word is better than the best of foods and drinks. It satisfies, yet makes one long for more. Makes one think and dig deeper. Food makes one full, and too much will make one fat. When you eat food and it's processed its biproduct is a stinky waste that is useless. When you eat of the Word you'll never be full. You'll never get fat and it's biproduct is a stronger Christian and a better understanding of the things of God. You can also share this biproduct with others and they too can grow stronger. Jesus was right when He said that "man does not live on bread alone, but by every Word that proceeds from the mouth of the Lord". Seven Day Jesus has a song out called "The Hunger" and it's awesome. In fact their entire album is great, but that song applies to this blog.

Lord continue to make this fire burn and burn hot, white hot. Make the hunger you've placed inside me grow deep and wide. Let me become consumed with the thought of knowing You. Let my desire be to eat and drink of Your Word. Help me to cut off the chains that have bound me and kept me somewhat caught in the things of this world. Keep my heart in a state of brokeness for the lost and for missions. Don't let me become complacent in my walk with you. Use VLI to mold me into a battle hardened warrior who's only desire is to fight on the front lines with a fury and reckless love that strikes fear into the heart of the enemy. Be my shield, be my Sword, be vision, lay before me a path that is rock solid. Let my enemies fall before me, to the left and to the right let them fall before Your mighty right hand. Prepare me, then lead me into battle. You are the Potter, and I am the clay. Today my heart is Yours to mold. Make me into the tool, the weapon that would make me useful to You in advancing Your kingdom. I love you, and the thought of doing anything other than serving you makes my heart cringe.

Good times, exciting times, and uncertain times

2004-09-21T19:08:00.000-07:00

Haven't posted in a while. Don't have my own PC, and my roommate isn't to keen on letting people use his. Don't get to post much cause of time constraints and lack of a PC.

This is going to be a book, at least I think it will be. So much has happened since 9/12/04, namely my brother Luke coming down to visit. That was such a good time. You never really know how much you'll miss somebody until you they're gone. I've considered moving to Kansas many times. The funny thing is that there are only a few reasons to go, but so many reasons to stay. Luke was one of my reasons to go, but the Lord was doing things here and He was my reason to stay. Didn't get to hang out as much as I would have liked, but he'll be back in Feb. To test for Tempe Fire. Hopefully they won't hire him for another year and a half to two years. That should give him the time he needs to do what he went to Kansas to do.

Work has been really busy. The Lord has been good though. A couple weeks ago my buddy Mike came down to check out the shop and while I was showing him around, my boss came up and asked me for some help. Mike followed me so I introduced him to my boss. My boss offered him a job on the spot for the most part and a few days later Mike was working with me. We car pool now, and share lunch, talk loads during breaks and I'm getting to show him some stuff too. I hope that the Lord brings a few more Godly men like Mike in so that we can be an even better witness to those that work there. Right now they have us working 10 hr. Days again. Probably for the next 3 weeks.

Vineyard Leadership Institute (VLI) started up last night and boy was it exciting. It was just orientation night, but to hear the heart of God behind Steve Robbins the director was incredible. I'm so excited, but at the same time filled with a nervous energy. They say that to learn the info and apply it well in ministry, one will need to study etc. For at least 20 hrs. A week. With work picking up again and night school and college group all of my nights were used up. I knew that doing VLI would require some sacrifices, but that ultimately it would be worth it. The Lord has so much to teach me through the mentoring, lecturing, and hands on ministry projects. I dropped my welding class on tues./thur. Nights because it took up 8 hrs. A week that I needed to devote more to reading the word, studying, and focusing on VLI as opposed to getting my certifications taken care of. Those will be good here, but probably won't benefit me loads overseas. However, the things I will learn through VLI will help me here in the U.S. as well as the rest of the world. The next couple years will be filled with exciting yet, uncertain times.

I'm going through VLI training so that I will be better equipped when I make the transition into full time mission work sometime after VLI is done.

College group is going well at the Living room. Since they broke the group up into 3 nights, the wed. Group actually meets at someone's house and consists of about 15-20 people instead of 40-70 people. Great small group, great worship and study, close by and lots of open discussion.

Life is busy, yet I'm glad. The Lord is moving in me, through me, and around me. Things are changing, I'm changing. Can't put my finger on it cause it's so subtle at times, but it's happening. My natural instinct is to be apprehensive about uncertain times, but now I'm more excited because that means that I'm not in control of the situation. It's a new adventure that is always going where the Shepherd leads, not where I want to go.

The Blessings of the Lord

2004-09-12T17:51:00.000-07:00

What is the greatest thing in this world or the greatest gift. Some might say the birth of a new baby, especially their own, or seeing their children grow up. Having not experienced either of those I cannot say how great they are, but I know for a fact that one of the greatest pleasures I've had in my life is to see someone who is young come to have a relationship with Jesus. I got to witness this today during Adventure Bay. I was completely unprepared. Stayed up late last night, was busy moving and setting stuff up in my room so I lost my schedule and "script" for today's lesson. I wake up late and miss 1st service. I end up quickly jotting down some notes and reviewing the script for the pirate and cameo we have before changing into my Captain's clothes. After that I play with the kids and meet the new ones. We had this one boy that did not want to be there. He wanted to be home and was visibly upset or maybe scared. Paul handled it quite well and one of our 5th graders stuck by him the entire day helping him to have fun and get connected. Props to both of them. As the hour wore on he gradually loosened up, worship was awesome, we boarded the ship and then I proceeded to tell them about our destination. We were going to Easter Island (Easter was our lesson plan for the day), but it donned on me that some of these new kids might have never heard about Jesus. So I asked them, and sure enough 4 of them had not heard the story of who Jesus is and what He did for us. I proceeded to tell them the greatest story ever and made sure to make eye contact with all four of them throughout the story. They never took their eyes off of me. It was amazing! I was put in the same room with 4 new kids (2 of whom were brought by their friends) that had never even heard about Jesus, and I got to tell them about HIM!!!! What joy! I couldn't believe my luck! I'd struck gold in them thar hills. The seed was planted, now it was time for some water. I continued on with the lesson plan and the kids as always were right on the money with their answers. In the end I gave them an opportunity to accept Jesus into their hearts. Here's the best part! The new guy that didn't want to be there raised his hand and recieved Jesus into his life!!! What an honor, what a blessing. I saw 3 other hands shoot up, and was nearly positive that these were hands I'd seen go up before, none the less I was excited. I had been praying the whole time while teaching that one of these kids would come to know Jesus and one did. The seed planted, the water poured, and the harvest reaped. So young and ready to be poured into. How great it is to see a young one saved. They have the rest of their lives to proclaim the name of Christ and grow while they're young, whereas adults are already grown and it's often harder for them.

Lord thank you for the gift you've given me of being able to teach in Kid's Church. Help me to be more and more cognicent of what you're doing and where you're going so I can lead them in the same direction. Do not let me or the lesson plans or anything else ever become a stumbling block for your will for these little ones. Smash and destroy anything or anyone that gets in the way. They are yours and so are we. Lead us, guide us, and hold us close to your side.

To be like a child

2004-09-05T17:07:00.000-07:00

Jesus said in Mar 10:15 "Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein." After this sunday I have a better grasp as to what that means. The children I teach (or atleast they tell me that's what I do) during our Adventure Bay program in 2nd service are incredible. They worship with a fervor that even the most spirit filled worship leaders would be in awe of. They sing and dance with reckless abandon praising God not because I or anyone else told them to, but because they want to. There is evidence of this in the testimonies of parents that are constantly saying how their kids are singing their own worhsip songs around the house or start doing the motions and dancing when they hear a certain song the recognize played on the radio in some store. What's even more amazing is that when these young one's get too old for the class and go into 5th and 6th grade, they fight tooth and nail to stay in Kid's Church. They don't want to leave. They have now become a vital part of our team of helpers. They want to get involved in every aspect of Adventure Bay and Kid's church from picking out songs for worship, to cleaning up the water that Shriver the Diver has a tendancy to leave when he shows up. And they hold each and every task very dear. None is more important than the other. They're all involved with little cameo's or help out as a puppeteer or as a little mate as we call them. We've had to work out a deal with them since we do want them to be in their proper class and continue to learn and grow. If they stay for multiple services then they have to attend their class during one of those and can help out during the others or if they're parents stick around for only one service, then they can help out every other week. Every single week I've seen kids raise their hands to accept Christ into their lives or to reaffirm their committment to Him. They're always bringing their friends or other new people and are practically dragging their parents out of bed so that they won't be late. I don't know about anyone else, but I never dragged my parents out of bed for anything but Christmas. These kids are demonstrating this extreme behavior on SUNDAY MORNINGS!!! Praise God for the heart that he has placed in them. I cannot wait until they have moved on into high school and are regular hell razers. They are the one's who will be leaders on their campuses because they do what is right and will not give in to peer pressure. They will worship the Lord in Spirit and in Truth. They will be a light in the darkness, and the gates of hell will not be able to hold them back. God is raising up a mighty army right before my own eyes. He is using the outcast and pushed aside. The excess baggage that some parents begrugingly carry around. He has given me the wonderful blessing and opportunity to pour out what little I have to those who are so little in the eyes of this world. Is it any wonder that Jesus stayed in the temple as a child to talk to the priests instead of waiting till He was of the "proper" age. God uses the wisdom of fools to confound the wise. Paul told Timothy to not let others look down on him because he was young, I say that we should not look down on little kids, because of their age or size. They have more to say, and more to ask than we know. If we take the time to listen we would learn much.

Jesus loves the little children
All the children of the world
Red, and yellow, black and white
They are precious in His sight
Jesus loves the little children of the world

Lord continue the work You are doing in these little ones. Protect them from satan's devices. Do not let them be snatched away, but instead use them as hunters, deadly warriors to snatch others out of the enemies grasp. Even at this young age they are preparing to reap the harvest You have prepared. Instill in them a heart for the lost, a heart for missions, and most importantly a heart of worship. In the end Lord, it's all about You. Regardless of how much we care for others here or in other countries, if it all doesn't come back to worshiping You then it is done for the wrong reasons. Let them learn to love, for it is the greatest commandment. Teach them to love each other, but even more so to love You with all of their heart, mind, and soul. Continue to bring up parents, young adults, and even younger students to help out with this awesome ministry opportunity you've given all of us.

College group questions

2004-09-03T17:23:00.000-07:00

I have been so wiped out and tired as of recently with long work hrs., school, college group, and church that when I do get time any more to check this stuff it's late at night and I'm really tired. If anyone should feel so inclined as to get the background to this post check out my buddy Obie's blog at www.klaobeforehim.blogspot.com

Lots of good questions were asked. The one I feel that needs answering the most is Suzie's which Ben also reffered to. Why not step up in our church and meet new people, start a group or whatever. To borrow a line from Obie, at this moment I want to be somewhere where I'm not expected to be in a leadership role. I've been a jack of "many" trades a good portion of my life. I don't want that to pour over into my spiritual life so much. I want to be good at one thing. Right now I'm teach Adventure Bay. I want to be the best I can be at that. Those kids have been pushed to the side by so many people because their kids. Many people think that kids church is kind of a place where they take their kids to be watched while they go to church, and don't take it seriously. I cannot give myself over to anything else as far as ministry goes, especially not with VLI starting up on the 20th. This semester is going to be slam packed for me. Then the question is, why can't I meet and hang with new people at Gilbert. Well, I can do that, but there are a few things that really hold me back. Time is the biggest one. I go to first service and right after it ends I hurry over to Kid's Church to help out and get ready. No time to meet people. Second if I did and we hung out, then it would only be right to bring them to the Cellar to get hooked up and not to the Living Room. However, if I am not currently attending the Cellar then that would mean that I'ld be taking people away from a group that is obviously trying to get something started. I don't expect everyone to understand, and there will be more questions, and possibly some hurt feelings, but what's a guy to do? You can please some of the people all of the time, but you can't please all of the people some of the time. Even when they're you're best friends. Right now I'm in a place where I'm being blessed, lots of great stuff is happening, I'm active all the time, and I see God using me in all the lives around me and God is using all of them in me. Does that mean that the above wasn't happening at the Cellar? No, it doesn't. All I know is that a few months ago I was struggling with temptation on and off, things were just ho hum, but now things are going well, I'm enjoying life and developing new, deep relationships with people that have had a positive impact on my life. I hope in someway that this clears the fog up and answers some questions.

A Most Excellent Blog

2004-08-26T17:40:00.000-07:00

Trust me on this one. My friend Joel has put out his own little 5 part blog on Perseverance and it is really good. I would encourage anyone and everyone to read it. Joel has an incredible way with words and many of his songs have touched me deeply. Check his site out at http://www.memoryresidue.blogspot.com/. I'm sure you'll enjoy it.

ROAD TRIP! (unrated version)

2004-08-25T17:51:00.000-07:00

Not that any of my posts need ratings, right?? Anyway Andre, Gabe and I went to Huntington Beach last weekend for 3 days and had a blast! We did everything from surfing to six flags. We hit up some surf shops and bought a few things, had a good time at Joe's Crab Shack eating crab, drinking long island's and watching Andre do the carwash with the waitresses. Lots of good times and good laughs. We took loads of video and lots of pics. Stayed up way to late and did lots of goofy things. It was good to get away for a few days. The Funk's who are friends of my family graciously put us up for the couple of days that we were there and introduced us to Danny who taught us how to surf. God blessed us through and through by getting us free surfboards through Danny's friend Ethan, and keeping us safe up and back and all around Cali.

However it is good to be back. School started up, but for me it'll be next tuesday cause the first week is safety vids and a walk around the shop for the newbies. VLI will be starting up soon which I'm looking forward to. The Living Room is splitting back up into 3 nights again (tues, wed, thurs) and it looks like I'll be going to the wed. night Living Room. I'm kinda bummed that Andre, Gabe and another friend of mine will be going to the tues. or thurs. night Living Room's, but we'll see what God has in store.

Answer to prayer

2004-08-17T17:32:00.000-07:00

I finally found a roommate. Fortunately he's alive, and he's a really cool guy. Goes to my college group. He has a townhouse a few miles from where I live and his roommate just moved out. The place is fully furnished with some really sweet stuff. I'm just going to have to buy a bed, bookshelf and a few other things for my room. All the furnishing stuff stays at my folks house because it's theirs. I'm really looking forward to moving out at the end of August. It's going to be a new and exciting adventure.

I'm really looking forward to this thursday as well. Andre, Gabe and I are going to Huntington Beach to go surfing for a couple of days and we're also going to go to Six Flags as well. A little before school starts fun.

God is so Freakin' Awesome!

2004-08-12T17:32:00.000-07:00

I can't even believe how good God has been to me. Since I started my welding job I've been praying daily at work especially that God would bless me, help my welds to improve, help me to work harder and more effieciently, and to give me favor in the eyes of my supervisors. He has done way more that I've asked. My welds are improving, but I still feel that I can do better. I work hard constantly because I am always operating out of a mindset that I'm competing for my job. They threw all kinds of special projects my way in the past. All kinds of stuff that was rush delivery or custom fab stuff that deviates from the norm. My boss comes up to me all the time now telling me how much he appreciates having me there and how great of a worker I am. When he says these things I honestly am thinking that he's gotta be kidding me. He's not, he's dead serious. I told him that I try and his responce was that many people try, but you succeed. I thanked him very much for the undeserved compliment, and thanked God for His hand working through me. There is NO way I could even make it there on my own strength or my own skill. There are lots of better welders there than me, but yet they have me doing the hardest stuff, that requires the most precision and are telling me that I'm doing an excellent job. Go figure. God is amazing! His faithfullness knows no boundries. There is nothing but good in His heart, and He's poured out His gifts upon me without hesitation or second thought. He's given me wisdom to handle tough situations, and the ability to keep the peace with all of the different attitudes that flare up there at work. He's given me confidence in other areas as well. Times when I struggle to speak up at work or out with friends, He's helped me. After looking into the past and being amazed at what He's done, I can only look to the future with great excitement and faith knowing that God is in control and He's taking me down the most Excellent and Exciting path in life. The straight and narrow.

Lord I love You, and I worship You. You are so faithfull even when I am not. I am so undeserving of Your love and compassion, yet You give Your love and Your blessings out to me freely. I will praise Your name forever. Help me to walk in the path of righeousness and live for You. Let me be a light in the darkness that is the place I work at, and a friend to those in need. Continue the work that You started in me, and do not let Your hand depart from me.

Ramblings of a Sojourner

2004-08-10T17:21:00.000-07:00

Where to start, I''ve been quite busy. It's been a while since I've posted, and have yet to find a roommate. I put my engine, tranny, and performance parts up for sell and I've been getting calls like mad. I sold it last night for the requested $500. I can't believe the guy actually asked if I would drop the price. The core charge for a Ford 390, C-6 auto tranny, all the engine accessories alone would be more than $500, not to mention the brand new aluminum 4 bbl. intake manifold and edlebrock cam and lifter set. I almost laughed when he asked me that. I guess it doesn't hurt to ask though. Some girl also called on my truck. She seemed stoked, but I guess we'll see what becomes of it. I hope it sells quick so I can get a Super Duty for me, Andre, and Gabe's surf trip to Huntington beach here in a few weeks.

As far as work goes they have us working mandatory 10 hr. days. This wouldn't be so bad save the fact that it's in the 110-115 deg. range every day. That means that it's like 120 or more to me while I'm welding. I talked to my boss today and let him know that I'm going to MCC to get my welding certifications and wanted to know if I could buy my steel through the company. He told me if I was willing to go to school, he would buy the steel. Good guy. Also on the school agenda I'm going to be going to Seminary/Bible college through the Vineyard Leadership Institute. The nice thing is that I don't have go anywhere. They use the home church as a sort of satellite campus so you don't leave for 2-4 yrs., return and find that things have changed. You stay very involved in the church and are required to serve weekly and come up with some sort of outreach or something once a quarter. I'm really looking forward to it. I believe that God is really going to teach me a lot and better equip me for the coming years that I hope and believe will be in the mission field.

On a different, maybe deeper note. I was thinking about something today. The following would be assuming that there was a woman of great significance in my life. I was thinking about how when you find somebody like that, that you would do anything, or give anything for that person. If somebody told you that you could not have that significant other unless you gave them everything you had, all your possessions, all your money, everything but the clothes on your back. Would you? I imagine someone with many possessions might think twice, but not if that person was important beyond even their own life. I don't have many possessions, but what I have I still value. Even still I would give them all up. Now comes the part that is hard to swallow. More still like a knife to the heart. There is a God who lowered Himself to the standard of a human being. His name is Jesus and He died for us without question, without hesitation, even knowing the pain and sacrifice He gave it all. The greatest possession He had was His relationship with the Father. This relationship was the greatest thing on earth past, present and future. Nothing could ever be as great, wonderful, pure and holy as this relationship. Still Jesus gave even that up so that we could be ransomed unto the Father. What do we have that could compare? What sacrifices have we made that even stand in the shadow of such great love and great sacrifice? And yet we put our things which are worthless and perishable before our Savior eternal. We place ourselves and our desires above the One who's love for us was so great that it killed Him. How dare we, how dare I do such a thing. And then we see for a second how wretched we are when singing such a beautiful song like Amazing Grace. (Especially after knowing the story behind the song)

Lord I realize that you know my hopes and dreams and the desires of my heart, but I lay them all down for You and Your will and Your desire for my life. I don't know what that entails, or what direction that means I'll be heading, but I'll trust in You.

Wanted: Room mate - dead or alive (preferably alive)

2004-07-31T13:36:00.000-07:00

Dead room mates tend to stink and when their bodies decompose it would be kinda creepy. You know, he's really getting his stink on one night really late and you're trying to sleep cause you've got work really early in the morning. You get out of bed, can't see a thing, step out into the hall, open his door and just about pass out (partially cause a decomposed dead guy in the middle of the night can scare just about anybody and partially cause of the stink) cause you have a rotting roomate there staring blankly at you when you tell him to use more deoderant or to go bury himself under a tree or something. So now you know why I would prefer a living roomate.

It looks like the chances of getting a spot at "the hizzle" are slim to none, and Andre is staying at his parents place, sooo now I need to find somebody, anybody else to cohabitate with for the next little while. Problem is that 1. they really should be living, or atleast after they've woken up 2. they have to be male (that whole living with chicks thing would be wrong and involve way to much drama, ugh!) 3. preferably somebody who is a Christian and loves the Lord (just makes things a bit easier that way, ya know?) 4. and finally somebody who has a decent job where they make decent money to help pay the bills. Oh yeah, and the problem is that it's not that easy to find a guy not to mention a couple of them that are like that. (it seems kind of strange that I'm looking for "the guy" or guys instead of "the girl"). Hmm, is God saying something?? LOL, don't think so.

I've got about a month left here at mi casa before my parents come back from the Hopi Rez and I really want to get out on my own now. Can't afford to do it solo, nor would I want to. It's more of an adventure to have good buddies along for the ride, problem is most of mine are either married, getting married, or are content with kickin it with their parents for a few more years.

God help! I know there've got to be a few good men out there who need a room mate. Help our paths to cross.

A short story

2004-07-29T05:32:00.000-07:00

As I was going trying to go to sleep last night this story played itself out in my head. As with most things I'm sure since I waited till morning it won't be exactly as I originally saw it in my head, but oh well.

It was late, the sun was down and the weather had been unfavorablely hot and humid. wield been holding the line for quite some time now. We'ld had a few attacks, but we were entrenched deep and moving forward every day. I'ld been out on the line for a while and was exhausted, my entire body ached. Things seemed under control and it looked like there was going to be a lull in the fighting. I decided take a break and read some letters from my brother Luke and a guy named Nate Swinton that have been faithfully holding the line much farther east of me for quite some time now. I leaned up against the trench wall and out of no where comes this beautiful lady. I was a bit surprised by this and a little cautious, but she seemed friendly enough. We talked for a while and I unknowingly began to let my guard down. She said that she could help me relax and was really good at helping to relieve pain and weariness. She was a pretty lady and nice enough so I gave in and let her rub my back and try to ease my aches and pains. As I turned my back to her I felt something sharp and cold enter my back. It was a blade, long and slender and she pushed it till the hilt was against my back. I felt the tip pierce my heart. As I fell over and hit my head on the hot, dry ground I heard her mutter the words "another sucker, they fall for me every time". I reached around my back with what little strength I could muster to try and pull the dagger from my back. It was no use, there was something about this dagger. It was draining me of strength and the will to fight. I was at her will as long as I had that dagger in my back. I lacked the strength or desire to pull it from me now, so I lay there caught somewhere in between sleep and awake, life and death. Evil visions and wicked perversions floated through my mind. Tears ran down my face as I helplessly lay bleeding in the trench. I began to call out for help, crying out forGod, but my calls where nothing more than whispers that got lost in the wind. She mocked me and my God, saying "He cannot save you now! You are mine and are in my control!" I saw her for what she truly was for the first time, a wolf in sheeps clothing, ugly and wretched with eyes that were as black as the abyss and a smell that reeked of sulfur. Despite her efforts to utterly destroy me, I continued to call out to God, but now I couldn't mutter even a whisper. I called from my mind, hoping and trusting that He would save me. Time seemed to go on and on, I thought this was the end. Then I saw Him! My heart leaped with joy and my strength increased just at His sight. He was running out in the open, eyes afire, hair blowing in the wind. His speed was unmatched and His commanding presence brought fear even to me. His sword was His word and with one mighty stroke He hew her in half. Her remains spontaneously combusted and scorched the earth where they lay. The ashes were picked up by the wind and tossed about carelessly.

My Commander in Chief knelt down to me and picked me up. As He carried me, I thought He was going to ask me what happened, but He didn't because He already knew. Instead He told me who she was. "Her name was Sinthia" He said. "Her daughters and sisters have been a secret weapon used by the enemy with devastating effects for a very long time. I've lost many a mighty warrior to her kind, and had many others wounded." I gasped when He told me that nearly 90% of his fighting men had fallen to her kind at one time or another. Then He reminded me of a time long ago when He first pulled me out of sin and saved me. He reminded me how He used my dad to test me and see if I was truly seeking Him or if it was just a child wanting to be like the others. He then asked me if I still had a special Book, It was one that He gave me the day that I became his son. This Book contained His words and had everything I needed to stand guard against the enemy. It contained my armor, It was my Sword, It told me of all the strategies of the enemy and what to watch out for. I told Him that I did indeed have the Book, but hadn't been reading and studying It like He said I should when He first gave It to me. He encouraged me to read His word and said that this was the way to healing and to stay strong in the middle of the fighting.

We approached a place I'ld been many times before. It was a hospital of sorts but with a different name. He started called it church and it was a place of healing for wounded soldiers. It was run by veteran soldiers who had fought many hard years, and by others who were gifted more in healing and comforting than in fighting. I was layed on a gurney stomach down. The Commander in Chief told the minister of health that I had been stabbed in the back with a knife full of lust. The minister grimaced as the knife reminded him of a battle he had fought with a sister of Sinthia earlier in his life. They prepared to pull the knife out, but gave me nothing, because there was no medicine that could help me deal with the pain. Just as the minister of health was about to pull the blade from my back, my Father put His hand on mine to put me at ease and give me peace. He then told the minister to proceed. The blade came out as easily as it had gone in, but the wound was deep and a bit infected. I asked my Father to forgive me for my sin and to change my heart and heal me from within. He looked at me and smiled. He said "I love you, I will never leave you nor forsake you. You are mine, I bought you and I would pay that price all over again. You my son are forgiven." As He said these words tears began to run down my face, I fell at His feet in worship and adoration. Strangely enough the wound in my back began to heal and to close up, but the scar was there and it was an ugly one.

The next day I went back out to hold the line with my head held high, my armor on, and the Sword in my hand and in my heart.

Thank You Lord for Your never changing love that keeps us strong, picks us up when we fall, gives us advice when we need it and heals us when we're wounded. Change my heart O God, make it ever true, change my heart O God, make me more like You.

Video of the week

2004-07-28T17:03:00.000-07:00

This is one I got from my former employer Jeff Harb. It's pretty funny. Again you may have to type in the link, but it may work. Who knows.

http://www.theviralfactory.com/movie/headrush.mpeg

Enjoy!

Hope

2004-07-27T16:23:00.000-07:00

This past week has been something else. Life is usually a lot like a roller coaster, or atleast mine is. However as we all know, people are always designing new ones and trying to make them more extreme. The past week seems to have been one of those weeks where my life was trying to take me on one of the most extreme rides yet. Up and down, right then left, twisting and turning, getting inverted, going high and going low. It's been a long week. So much has happened. Where to begin....

I think I'll begin by going to the bathroom, then coming back. Now that I'm done with that.... I guess work is as good a place as any to start. It's been hot and humid due to the monsoon moisture in the air. Working in that open warehouse in 110 deg. heat and high humidity is miserable. Especially when I'm wearing 2 shirts and leather/canvas bib to protect my arms and torso from the molten balls of metal that spark and fly up at me. It kinda sucked not having any of my friends around. Most were either in Ireland or at the highschool youth camp. Even tues. night I found only one person I knew at The Living Room. Friday I went over to "The Hizzle" (name my buddies gave the place were the 6 of them live) for food and fellowship. Hanging out with all of them is always fun.

Saturday Andre and I went out to eat for lunch and ended up having a long conversation with this couple that was sharing a table with us. Turns out they were Christians as well, and they both seemed really encouraged to meet us and talk about God and what He's doing in our lives. Andre decided that he was going to stay with his folks for another year and a half instead of moving out and getting an apt. with me. He's going to do the Vineyard Leadership Institute training that's going on at our church and won't be able to afford rent with the monthly cost of that as well. I was bummed, but new that it was a wise decision and supported it wholeheartedly. After that we went to the Kids Church Beach Party at Val Vista Lakes. It was loads of fun. I got to throw the kids up in the air, chase them around, get chased around, and they seemed to love it too. I was a water jungle gym for them. Party got crashed though by a really fast moving storm. Everyone cleared out and by the time I left and was on the street, there were palm trees, light poles, and other trees laying in the street. Cruising down the highway with an 1 1/2 of water on the road made for an interesting drive as well. Ended up going to another party after that with Andre and Gabe. Stayed there till nearly 12:30 and got a ride home from Mike. Talked to him about if there are any free spaces at "The Hizzle" and whether or not one might be available to me at the end of Aug. He said there should be and that he would talk with the other guys about it and pray about it. Don't think it would be long term, just for a while. I like have some space.

Sunday was great, but the second service kids seemed to be out of it. It's like someone swapped personalities with the first and second service kids. None the less we had a good time. I bailed right afterwards so I could talk to Pastor Jack. I told him about the 2 pics that Kim and Ron gave me then about the one that came to my head afterwards. We talked for nearly an hour about it. Something that I really picked up out of talking with him was that man's way typically is fast and happens when it' s convenient, but God's way happens a bit slower, and when He wants it too. This requires patience. I told him how being here made me feel and how I wanted to go back to the mission field and everything I said kept confiming what he had said earlier. I've considered doing VLI, and am now set on doing it. I've just got a new job which the Lord is blessing me at, and I'm going to be taking over one of the kid's church classes here in a month or so. Right now it just seems that the Lord is going to use the next 2 yrs to teach me how the better use the tools that He's equipped me with. It was nice to have my folks home for a few days as well.

Monday went by looking for Tuesday, although I rented 50 First Dates and watched it with my family. Pretty funny movie, a little crude, but worth watching. I'm glad that tues. is finally here. I really enjoy going to The Living Room and hanging out and listening to the various speakers. The fellowship there is awesome.

I'm going to go crash for a little bit. Work wiped me out today. I got dizzy a few times cause of the heat and maybe the fact that I was sweating more water than I could possibly drink.

Parable of the sower and the soils - What you do and say is a reflection of your heart. Even if it's in jest. What type of soil is in your heart? Rock hard like the pathway? Stoney like the untilled earth? Filled with the weeds of this life like the thorny ground? Or is your heart soft and fertile ready for planting and perfect for an awesome harvest?

Take comfort weary Sojourner

2004-07-20T17:05:00.000-07:00

I have been praying a lot recently about work and life in general. At work I'm always praying that God would help me to work harder, and do better. That my welds and quality of work would improve and that He would give me favor in the eyes of my supervisors. He has done that and so much more. The quality of my work is improving, but I think I can still do better and have much more to learn. My bosses are keeping me slammed with work everyday. I'm always fabricating something new or making a full playground set or doing special orders or whatever they need done right away. I've always operated on the premise that my job is on the line that way I work hard and try and stay humble (if I can say that without coming off proud). My boss is a hard guy to figure out, but today he said some of the most encouraging words to me. Basically he said that they were making some changes and I was their welder/fabricator and would be depended on heavily in the changes that are to come. He said a lot of other encouraging stuff that really gave me a boost in self confidence at the work place. God has now also possibly opened the door to return to Kenya with YWAM working on Lake Victoria ministering to the island folks. We'll see how that pans out. Right now I'm just trying to wait on the Lord and not rush into anything. I keep seeing this picture in my mind that is sort of a blend between the two pictures I got sunday and something out of the movie "Twister", but here it is. I see myself walking down a straight muddy road that has water on both sides of it. I'm struggling with my cross that is over my shoulder much like was depicted in the movie "The Passion of the Christ". I'm in the middle of a huge storm with rain and sleet, but worse than that there are 3 water spouts twisting all around me. I trudge on head drooped, back burdened, just trying to make it. Did I just eat some bad food? Probably not, this picture has been in my head since I heard Kim and Ron tell me of the ones that they were seeing. What does it mean?

I take comfort under Your wings. You are my strong tower and place of refuge, You are the reason that I sing. I may be wounded, but I will not leave the fight, because You are healing me. The fog of war has blinded my eyes, so now I listen, I listen for my Savior's voice. You lead me through the valley of the shadow of death, You are a shield around me. When I stumble You catch me, and when I'm weak You carry me. When I cry You comfort me, and I know that I am never alone.

Psalm 23

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; He guies me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Yoru staff, they comfort me. You have prepared a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Wonderings of a sojourner

2004-07-19T19:50:00.000-07:00

Church was awesome this week. Especially considering it had been about a month since I'ld been able to sit in the main service. I had the opportunity to cover for some of my friends while they were either giving birth to a baby or visiting their family. That time I spent in Kids Church doing Adventure Bay was awesome. Nonetheless I really enjoyed being able to worship and listen instead of teach. This week was really something though. A couple that had been going to our church a for a number of years then left to go to the mission field with Frontiers were in town and spoke. It was really exciting to see what God was doing through them and how they are able to support missionaries in muslim nations that are under cover and operating in secret as well as in public. May the Lord continue to bless their ministry and keep the missionaries they are supporting safe. At the end pastor Jack asked for anyone who was feeling or has been feeling a call to missions to step up front. Having already gone to Kenya and now having a heart to return to the field full time, I stepped right up, so did my brother and sister seeing as they'll be leaving in 1 1/2 for Ecuador. A couple folks prayed for me, Kim our worship leader said that he had a picture in his head of a huge lake, and on it there were 2 boats. One was a little paper boat with the words "man's way" written across it and the other was a huge ship so big you couldn't see the full length of it and on it were the words "God's way". He said he saw me sitting in the paper boat trying hard to get across the huge lake. One of the other guys praying for me said he saw a picture of a giant whirlwind. I was in the middle of it where it is calm. He said the whirlwind represented distractions in my life and that the peace or calm was God. Every now and then the whirlwind would touch me, and he said that this represented me getting distracted. I've been thinking about those 2 pictures since sunday morning and I'm not sure what to make of it. I just got denied from working with Mercy Ships due to a Maritime Law technicality. I see it as God shutting one door and keeping me here for something else. The question is what? He has completely changed my heart and given me a passion for missions, and I don't believe He would do such a thing only to deny me this passion. I feel like a lion at the zoo. Dangerous, but locked away. Refusing to except that this is all there is, hoping that I'll be able to roam the jungle once again, believing that God has so much more for me than the so called "American dream". This is not my dream. So what does all this mean? If I'm trying to do it on my own, what is it that I'm trying to do that is wrong? What is man's way? What is God's way? What are these distractions that seem to take my attention for a little while? Why am I asking so many questions? Why can't I be at peace where I am at?

Lord reveal things to me. Part the fog and give me clarity of sight. Reveal to me the meanings of these pictures you gave Kim and Ron to give to me. Show me the distractions in my life and help me put them to death, or atleast put the desire in me for them to the sword. Help me to maintain focus and know what to do. Should I stick around for 2 years and commit to VLI? $100/month is a lot. Should I go to school instead and get my welding certs? I need Your guidance and direction. I need Your wisdom too. Show me Your ways and lead me down Your path. Give me peace in the midst of confusion. I love You Lord and will follow You wherever You would lead me. You are my strength in my weakness. As Paul said "to live is Christ and to die is gain", just as he felt so do I, death is my friend, but I will follow You until he comes. So lead me Lord, lead me, even to the ends of the earth.

Video of the week

2004-07-16T18:09:00.000-07:00

My bro sent me this one a while ago and I still laugh/cringe when I see it. I've been having problems getting the sites to link up so you might have to type the page into your address bar, but it's worth checking out.

Funny video

http://www.ulrp.com/photos/video/nokia.avi

Funny joke

2004-07-16T17:55:00.000-07:00

Got this off of ebaums world www.ebaumsworld.com Disclaimer-If you do decide to check out the website, some of the material may be inappropriate or offensive. So use your discretion as to where you venture.

Quick Joke: A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.
They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."
Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing. Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.
The guy calms down and says: " Make 'em all ugly again."

Old friends

2004-07-16T16:22:00.000-07:00

The past month has truly been amazing to say the least. I've started going to this college group called Vital Impact. It's at the church/school that I used to go to back in 4th-8th grade called Grace Community Christian School. After I graduated the 8th grade I went to a public high school whereas most of my friends went to a Christian one. I would see them every once in a blue moon, but very few of them I would see. Oddly enough I went to a tuesday night college group gathering/Bible study with my buddy Andre. Then over the next month I saw all these guys/gals that I used to go to school with at Grace. None of them were from my class, but where from Micah, and Luke's classes. I was amazed at how much they had grown up. I know I really shouldn't have been, but none the less, after some 8 or 9 years it's just crazy to see that their not the little brothers and sisters of my friends. By far though the coolest thing is that the ones I'm seeing are really following the Lord. That is so encouraging. I was afraid that many of them would rebel and turn their hearts from the Lord, like many pastors kids tend to do. Many of them have gone on missions trips, are interested in missions, or other ministry areas, some are discipling younger guys/girls. One of the other great benefits about going to this college group has been that I've made lots of new friends that are in the same boat or same stage of life as I am, whereas it seems that the college group at my church tends to be a little heavy on the married/couples side. That may not be a bad thing, but it is hard for me to relate to where they're at in life cause I'm not married/engaged. It's just really exciting to see what God is doing in the lives of a bunch of my old friends, and now a bunch of my new friends.

Lord continue to bless the work you have started at Vital Impact. You are raising up people there to be Your ambassadors to the nations and to our own nation with an unashamed boldness. Let us continue to come together as the new testament church did, being of one heart and mind, helping each other, and seeking after you. Continue to transform our lives and let our lives reflect more and more the image of Your Son. Continue as well to bless the work You're doing in the hearts and minds of those that go to The Cellar. Many have recently entered new stages of life and need Your strength, love and, guidance as they live for You first, and theirs spouses second instead of dwelling upon their own needs first. Be with those in Ireland and give them open minds and hearts. Give them courage to speak unashamedly about Your saving grace, and also give them ears to hear the words that others might speak. Pour out Your presence among them, guide them and protect them.

Video of the week

2004-07-10T14:12:00.000-07:00

Better turn up the volume on this one! Type in the following link
http://media.ebaumsworld.com/index.php?e=niceride.wmv
Enjoy!

Patience

2004-07-10T12:10:00.000-07:00

These are the lyrics to a song that a friend of mine wrote, and it's the cry of my heart. His name is Joel Bidderman (www.joelbidderman.com), the song is called Waiting and it's off his album titled "depravity, grace, and reckless abandon".

Waiting

This road is dusty
And it's getting to my eyes
So that I can't see where I'm going
Or even the time
But I'll trust in You
Though it feels hurtin' to me
And though I can't see

Job, Abraham and Sarah
We could talk for hours
About wishing that Your timing
Was a little closer to ours
But I'll toast to You
With my rusty heart
And my cup that's full of tears

Lord I'm waiting, I'm waiting
For You to save the day
For You to hold this heart -- (repeat chorus)

Walking for miles, through mud and rain
Looking for the sun to rise
On a field so dry, I cannot feel
It's as if something has died
So I'll wait for You
With my hands tied
So that I can feel the joy of Your touch

BRIDGE:
And they that wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength
They will mount up with wings as eagles
They will run and not grow weary; they'll walk and not faint
So teach me Lord...to wait

As I was wondering about why I'm still here in Tempe, AZ., and why I'm not out in the mission field this song came running through my head. I've thought through all the possible reasons that I can think of as to why God has me here and not somewhere else. Maybe I'll meet a great woman of God and get married. Maybe I have heart issues that need to be dealt with. Maybe there are things to learn that I'll need to be more effective abroad. Maybe it's a number of things, maybe it's none of the above reasons and maybe He just wants to teach me patience. I know that God has instilled in my heart the desire, and the longing to give my life over to others in the mission field for a reason. He didn't send me to Kenya for a year, give me a passion for missions and completely change my heart and priorities only to deny me of those things later. All of the maybe's listed above are things that my heart desires. Now if only I can learn to wait on the Lord, so that He can renew my strength, so that He take me in my brokeness and remake me, so that He can teach me how to love, and so that He can heal this wounded soldier and form me into the most lethal of spiritual killing machines.

So Lord I'm waiting, I'm waiting
For You to save the day
For You to hold this heart...

Thanks Joel

Guidance part 2

2004-07-06T17:50:00.001-07:00

www.ebaumsworld.com/carcrash.html If you click the link you will see a rather graphic illustration of the point I made in Guidance part 1. If you haven't read Guidance part 1, then read it, then check out the video. The point I made is that you can never account for all the unknowns in life. The guy in the above video probably never had a clue that his day was really gonna suck. Newton's second law just changed the course of his life if it didn't end it. Ouch!

Dead animal flesh and things that go BOOM!

2004-07-06T16:45:00.000-07:00

That's right, it's the 4th of July, or atleast it was. After a very long, sleepless in Phoenix weekend, I finally was going to have a good time. My bro Micah and his wife Chrissy invited me and and 2 buddies over to watch fireworks on their roof. Central Christian was only a mile away and was having a big display. I invited my buddy Mike (who used to go worship with a large group of us at the lake every sunday) and his girlfriend Christine. Andre and I had to run back to the house to get the grill cause I forgot it. See what lack of sleep can do to a guy. Anyway, when we got back to Micah and Chrissy's, we found that Ducky was there and Mike and Christine were right behind us. We fired up the grill, tossed some dead cow on it and some dead pig ribs that were slathered in BBQ sauce. Mmm, dead animal flesh. Now, the 4th wouldn't be complete without fireworks. Fortunately Micah still had a huge pack of bottle rockets. This is were things got interesting. We decided to tape a bunch of them together. The funny thing is that the fuses don't burn at the same speed. This caused quite a ruckus as about 15 bottle rockets started bouncing off the wall, roof, and yard while spraying sparks everywhere, then finally ending in a bang. Unfortunately one of the rather large sparks found its way onto the swing cushion and started burning a hole in it. Me, being the bright fire fighter that I am, tried to smash the burning little hole between the two fingers of my left hand. The problem was that I was holding a beer in my left hand, which ended up all over the cushion. The only thing we learned was that we needed to do it bigger and better. After the food was finished we ate in haste knowing that the fireworks would begin soon. As we all scrambled up onto the roof, you could hear the loud cheers and yells of other neighbors as they lit off fireworks from their roof. Not to be out done, we started launching dozens of bottle rockets at them. Ah the good times. Unfortunately I had to work the next day so my night stayed young. Hope everyone else had a kickin Independence day, and I also hope none of you were unlucky enough to find a stray bullet falling from the sky.

Cowboy up you wussy

2004-07-03T07:57:00.000-07:00

What was Adam's main sin? Was it that he took a bite of the forbidden fruit or was it greater than that? If you read the account of Genesis 3 maybe you'll agree with me that if he wasn't a spineless pushover that the world would be a different place today. We all know that the serpent tempted Eve and that she gave the fruit to Adam. However, I want to take a look at Eve's heart in this issue. I believe that Genesis 3:6 gives us a look into the error of her ways which is a common characteristic found in the daughters of Eve even to this day. Verse 6 says that "When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate it; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate it". The first part shows us that Eve was already rationalizing to herself why the fruit would be good, but the part that really stood out to me was that it was a delight to the eyes. We find this to be something that is inherent in women ever since then. Not only do they want things that are delightful to the eyes, but moreover they want to be a delight unto the eyes. Now let's look at the second part of verse 6. Adam, hmm, where was he? HE WAS RIGHT BESIDE HER!!! God told him NOT TO EAT of the the fruit of that tree. It is safe to assume that because Adam and Eve where always together that Adam also told Eve this, but for the sake of quetioning this, I propose that Adam didn't tell Eve. So here the two of them are at the tree, Eve's having a flirty little chat with the ssseductive little serpent and as Satan convinces her to eat of this fruit what does Adam do? Does he take a stand and tell her what God said not to do? Does he rescue his fair maiden from the hands of the evil one? NO!! The coward stands right beside her and let's her eat the fruit. Even worse, when she has some and gives it to him, he's so stricken with her beauty and her words, that he, the spineless fool that he is eats some as well. And now Pandora's box is wide open. God now steps into the scene and curses the serpent, the woman, and the man. The woman gets pain in child birth, but even worse is that she passes these traits to her daughters. They now seek to seduce the hearts and eyes of men with their looks and feminine ways, they devise to have control in the household, and they desire things of beauty. The man, the stupid fool that he is had the God given power and ability to change the course of history, but he made the wrong decision and now we'll never know what road God may have taken us down. The man would have to work hard for everything he needs. The sweat, blood and tears would be poured out onto the earth and all it would render would be thorns and thistles. The man would be susceptible to the seductions of the woman because he listened to her instead of listenening to God. He would constantly be in a power struggle for control of the household, but the worst is that his sons would have the suffer the same shame of being a spineless coward that he did. Men from that day forth, would struggle at doing the right thing at the right time. When faced with a challenge they would show their weakness and often cave in. Case in point, Abraham, Sarah, and Pharaoh. David and Bathsheba, the divorce rate today because of unfaithfullness. If Adam as the first man would have stepped up and been a man, then we would be living in a very different world today. Eve wouldn't have eaten the fruit cause Adam would have taken control of the situation.

All this came to mind because last night Andre and I where hanging out with some friends from the Grace Community College group. We went to play whiffle ball at Tempe town lake, but they closed it up on us for the 4th. The whole lot of us guys then met up with 2 girls from the college group and went to mill. They said they were going to do steet witnessing. I really didn't feel like doing this. My heart wasn't ready nor in the right place. That bothered me all night. The Bible says to be ready in and out of season. We're not called to be Christians when we feel like it, or when our hearts are in the right place. We're to be ready to answer any questions people may have. The thing that bothered me was that just like men past, instead of sticking it out when it was uncomfortable and something I really didn't want to do, the spineless coward reared his ugly head and we went to grab some grub instead. I thought about it some more last night. I've never been the type of person to go looking for opportunity necessarily, I'm more the type that goes about life and when opportunity knocks, I answer. So street witnessing really doesn't seem to fit with my personality, whereas taking the chance to talk to someone you run into and steering the conversation towards talking about God is more the way I operate. That kind of seems like a copout though. I'm very unsettled about this....

regret of a fire fighter

2004-07-02T16:37:00.000-07:00

Innocence lost, cannot be regained

Guidance

2004-07-01T05:29:00.000-07:00

Something I've noticed while reflecting upon my life is how and where God has intervened in my life. To me it is clear that it is God who is intervening at certain times to move me in one direction or another. I've been checking PM's blog (http://prayingmantis.blogspot.com) and there is a guy on there that you cannot convince no matter how obvious the evidence that 1. there is a God, and 2. that He loves us and is righteous and just. It is an ignorant, arrogant person who honestly believes that he/she goes through life living on their own strength. That they are in control of their own fates. If you stop to think about it, there are so many unknown variables to account for. When you drive or walk down the street your life is at the mercy of many unknowns. You don't know what will happen in the future, all you can do is make decisions based on what you think could happen and play them out. I believe it's Newtons 2nd law that states "An object at rest stays at rest unless acted upon by another object, and an object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by another object". Our lives are these moving objects. They move in the general direction that we choose until they are acted upon by another object. These other objects are called tools and are wielded expertly by the hand of God. Whether good or bad, He uses them to change the direction in which our lives are heading. Just like when a baseball is flying towards the catchers glove, in an instant the bat hits it and changes its course. Many people would call it fate. I believe that they are intentionally denying the fact that it is God not fate that does this because then they would have to own up to everything they've done and acknowledge that they are not in control.

Lord, today I acknowledge that You are in control. I cannot recall the number of times when You have intervened in my life and used one of these tools to change my heart or my course in life. I know that everything I have has come from Your hand, and that even though many of the things I've gone through haven't been the best of experiences, you've used everything to make me more like You and to bring glory to your Son. Continue to to intervene in my life and change my course when I go wrong or I seem to be stumbling in the dark. Hold my hand and guide my steps.

Prov. 21:1-2 The king's heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord" He turns it wherever He wishes. Every man's way is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the the hearts.

Prov. 12:15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel.

2004-06-30T22:06:00.000-07:00

I sure have found it difficult to find time to post on this spot. My days are very busy. Wake at 5:00 to be at work by 6:00 then get off at 3:30 and work on the house. It's been a long day. I did get a call on my truck though after I got home. The guy seemed interested, but wanted to talk for quite a while about his old truck and other endless ramblings. Meantime I had to be at the Lott's to watch Allison and Drew so Kevin and Kathy could visit Kathy's mom in the hospital. Hopefully this guy will buy the Scout for the money I'm asking so I can buy a Super Duty. It's funny how before I decided to sell my Scout I was pretty attached to it. Now that I've decided not only in my mind but also in my heart to sell it, I've become detached, but for some reason it won't detach from me. Isn't it ironic? Don't ya think? A little too ironic...

I sure wish I had the time to record all of my thoughts. On the way to work I think about all kinds of interesting things as well as on the way back. I was just thinking about how interesting it is that people often use earthly things to attract friends or people of the opposite sex. It seems that every time me or someone I know tries something silly like that you get exactly what you have. You get a boyfriend/girlfriend or friends that are shallow and are interested in either your earthly possesions, your physical image or any of those other things that fade and do not last. On the contrary when you use the fruits of the spirit, the presence of the Lord, character, integrity, purity and so on, you find that you'll attract people that have depth and will build you up in your relationship with Christ.

Lord let those who come to me, come out of an attraction to you. Even if it means that I am to be poor and broken and at a loss for all the things the world holds dear, let them see you and be attracted by you. I have nothing that is worth anything to offer anyone that they can't get somewhere else. You are all I have that is worth anything. You are the only One true thing that will always stay the same. Help me to better understand that, and help others to see that as well.

Obey and Understand

2004-06-26T18:46:00.000-07:00

I recently have been checking out my bro's blog spot http://lkinsidemymind.blogspot.com and was quite distressed by some posts 2 moms made. One claimed to have known my family for some time. The worst thing was that as a friend they didn't openly confront Luke about what they feel was a bad decision, and then went on to bash him in a way that was totally un-Christ like. If you have an issue with someone, you confront them, you don't hide behind a mask as if you were afraid to be recognized as the one making the comment. Be open and honest, which leads me to my request/point. I encourage anyone and everyone who reads this and any other blogs I post, to respond openly and honestly. You are entitled to your opinion even if it is different than mine. The important thing is that you openly would take the risk as a friend or total stranger to speak into my life knowing that what you say may or may not be popular. Remember, many people in the past were used by God to say things that were often very unpopular and would possibly get them killed, but they did it out of obediance to God. They didn't always understand why God had them say things or do things, but they did His will anyway. Please, if God ever puts it on any of your hearts to say something odd, difficult, encouraging, or whatever to me or anyone else for that matter, please step out in faith and take a risk.